Haruhi's Best Friend
by RastafarianDragon16
Summary: Tomuru Sanka is the mad best friend to Haruhi Fujioka. With her help to pay off Haruhi's debt to the Host Club the duo face the madness of the Host Club boys. Getting lost in cow fields, chased by her duck arch nemesis and becoming a dog to a bunch of flirty rich boys, Tomuru is surely going to get into a bunch of adventures with these lot. Ya know as long she doesn't get lost.
1. Episode 1 Part 1

**Tomuru's narrative**

"Hey Haruhi, how was your first day at posh school?" I asked eagerly

"Uh"

"Wow that great huh? What happened?"

"I really hate rich people." Haruhi moaned

"Yes annnnd?" I persisted

"I'm a dog now."

"HOLY CRAP YOU'RE RIGHT! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? YOU HAVE A TAIL AND DOG EARS!" I exclaimed dramatically

"Shut up there's no need for sarcasm" Haruhi snapped

"There is already need for sarcasm dearest"

"Look here's what happened..."

"Don't scrimp on the details. Tell me everything!"

"Well...after classes I went to find somewhere to study. All the libraries were too noisy so I went into what I thought was a empty room. However as I opened the door six boys greeted me. There's a blond dude, a boy wearing glasses, identical ginger twins who are in my class, a small blond boy and a tall stoic dude. The blond guy Tamaki started calling me 'openly gay' and the small one called me Haru-Chan and a superhero just for being an honour student and if you don't stop laughing I'm not carrying on with the story." Haruhi explained

"Th-this is brilliant! Do they think you're a boy or something?" I laughed

"Apparently everyone in school does now are you going to let me continue?"

"Proceed"

"Thank you, anyhow whilst trying to escape Tamaki asking what 'type of boy' I prefer I knocked and broke a renaissance vase, which they were going auction off in a school event or something. Long story short I know have to work as an 'errand boy' to pay for the damage."

"Jeez what was the starting bid for the vase?"

"Eight. Million. Yen." She emphasized

"EIGHT MILLION YEN!" I shouted

"Yeah, it's ridiculous right?"

"BUT YOU JUST PUT WATER AND FLOWERS IN IT!"

"I think those type of vases are just for show not for actual use Tomo."

"8 MILLION YEN HARUHI!"

"Yes Tomuru that's the amount I have to pay back." she sighed

"It's going to take you the rest of your high-school education to pay them back at least, if you're just an errand boy."

"It could take shorter if I had some...assistance."

"Who on earth would willingly volunteer to assist... Haruhi!"

"Oh come on sugar this is what best friends do! Help me out, pleeease." she pleaded, even kneeling down and looking up at me with her big brown eyes.

"Haruhi, I go to a different school lest we forget."

"I'll talk to the Hosts about it. You can come by once your classes have finished."

"Hosts? You mean you have to be a errand boy in a Host Club?"

"...Yes alright" Haruhi admitted

"Ha! Well how far is it exactly?"

"Walking distance it'll be half an hour give or take."

"Not too bad I suppose. Don't make that puppy face at me dearest. Ask about it first, give me some information on times and stuff then I'll decide. No promises." I stated

"Have I ever told you how much I love you Tomo"

"Not enough. Now about the 'everyone thinking you're a boy' thing. Why haven't you corrected them?"

"A person's gender doesn't matter Tomo. I don't care whether they think I'm a boy or a girl."

"Yes I share you're views on gender but there are some situations that may require you to tell people your actual gender, or gender you prefer to be referred to of course. You may have to masquerade as a male for the rest of high school."

"So?" she shrugged

"What do you mean so? Which bathroom are you going to use? What are you going to do about your period?" I demanded

"I didn't think about that. Eh I'll figure something out. I don't think there'll be any repercussions to this detail." Haruhi waved off

"Whatever you say dude. So other than that the day was alright?"

"Pretty much, the work is more manageable than I thought. How was your day?"

"Same old, same old. Higashi has more facilities which is cool. I'll tell you after roly poly time."

"Fine but I want to hear everything."

"Very well."

Then we forward rolled on my bed listening to Fall Out Boy.

**Haruhi's narrative**

"Hello Doggy!" the twins greeted me as I entered the club room

"Why if it isn't our little Honour Student" The 'Host King' said

"Yeah hi, can I ask you guys something?" I responded

"Later, right now you will go into the kitchen and set up the tea sets for each table and fill up the cake trays." Kyoya stated

"Right" I muttered heading to the kitchen, I was shown where everything was yesterday.

"Oh and afterwards go and get the items on this grocery list. Kyoya will provide the money for shopping." Tamaki added pocking his head into the kitchen.

"...Sure"

**At the supermarket...**

"Coffee beans? Well I suppose Hescafe will do. If they don't like it tough luck." I muttered to myself

"YO!" Tomo bashed into me

"Help me" I whimpered

"What did they make you do as dog?" she asked bemused

"Can't you tell? I'm doing they're food shopping for them." I gestured to the food basket

"I thought they would just have their stuff delivered."

"You'd think right?"

"So you have to return there I take it?"

"Yeah...come with me."

"Have you asked about..."

"No haven't had the time. Please come, you can see for yourself." I interrupted

"Alright, fine." she sighed

"Thanks sugar! What are you in her for anyway?"

"Oh the fucking circus!" she said sarcastically

"To buy sassy" I snapped

"I thought you knew me better. I needed cookies. There's a sale on for them, buy one get one free. Wanna pack?"

"Sure, at least there'll be something good about today."

Once we paid for our items we walked back to Ouran Academy.

"Well welcome to Ouran Academy." I said once we arrived at the gates

"Tis pink." she stated

"Yeah tis pink."

"Nice touch with the clock tower."

"Come on, best not keep them waiting." I sighed

"Are outsiders even aloud inside school grounds? I could be a spy. And I wouldn't want to get my dearest in trouble." she asked jokingly, though with a little concern.

"Aw you take such good care of me! The Dean gave me special permission to have old friends in the building. Sort of a make me feel welcome thing. Got a note and everything." I assured

"Alright let's see this Host club. Lead the way."

**Tomuru's narrative**

"How many stairs does one school need?" I gasped starting the ascent on another set of stairs

"Last staircase I promise. It's just at the end of this hallway." Haruhi promised

"Music Room 3?" I questioned

"Yeah, abandoned music room."

"Got it."

Haruhi opened the door and went in, I followed close behind.

"Ah speak of the devil. Thanks for the doing the shopping little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?" a blond dude greeted

"Piglet? What's next kitten, foaly?" I muttered to Haruhi

"Who is this lovely creature? A friend of yours Haruhi?" he continued

"TOMURU NICE TO MEET YA! I'M HARUHI'S BEEEST FWIEND!" I exclaimed in a squeaky voice

"Haruhi why are you laughing?" I asked continuing the voice, whilst Haruhi was in fits of crying laughter as the posh people were staring dumbstruck

"Stop laughing you know it's a speek impediment. You're so mwean!" I moaned

"P-pack it in will ya. You are so embarrassing." Haruhi laughed clutching her stomach

I looked around the surprised faces before laughing along with Haruhi, both of us leaning on each-other for support.

"Dude I have to make a good impression here, you're not helping." Haruhi scorned lightly

"Oh come on I warned you that voice would return someday." I reminded

"Yeah but I didn't expect you to do it here and now!"

"Alright do you want me to introduce myself as a normal human being dearest?" I offered

"If you can manage it."

"Fine. Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen. My name is Tomuru Sanka and I'm Haruhi's best friend." I introduced formally

"How's that?" I asked Haruhi

"I've never been prouder." Haruhi replied sarcastically, wiping a fake tear

"Now if he is not too busy I would like to speak with the Leader of the host club."

"That would be I! I am Tamaki Suoh, King of the Ouran Host Club." the blond announced dramatically

"Thought as much, will me and my little piglet discuss his...predicament?"

"Tamaki has guests to tend to at this moment. You can bring Haruhi's matter with me. I am the Vice President after all." a boy with glasses interjected

"Very well, if you're not too busy."

"Not at all, step this way."

"OK, Haruhi what to you want me to do with this shopping bag?"

"Just give it me, I'll put it away."

"Have a seat." glasses boy offered

"Thanks Mr..."

"Kyoya Ootori."

"Ootori Senpai."

"I'm not sure if Haruhi has told you about the outside guest rule in this..." Kyoya started

"Oh don't worry he has special permission from the Dean. Has a note and everything." I assured quickly

"Very well I'll take your word for it. Please proceed."

"Well this is mainly Haruhi's idea, practically begged me, but is there any way I can assist the errand boy with his duties to pay back his debt?"

"I see no problem with that. As long as you can get here at a reasonable time. That can be arranged of course." he agreed

"Great but I only have one condition. No maid cosplay."

"Agreed."

"My classes finish at three just so you know so is there any way I can contact the Host Club to inform if I'm late or unable to come in? Haruhi doesn't have a mobile you see."

"I can give you my mobile number as a Host club contact." he offered, writing something in his black notebook, tearing it out and handing it to me

"OK that's one thing to tick off. Shall we discuss this further when the guests have left?"

"I think that would be best. Why don't you have a look around. Take in what it is we do here at the club."

"Sure, so long as there's no charge."

"Not at all."

"Just checking."

Kyoya left me to look around the club room.

"Let the tasting begin." I heard Tamaki declare

"Hey Haruhi what's going on here?" I asked standing beside her

"They're trying instant coffee." she sighed pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Really? They make it sound like they're drinking water from the Fountain of youth."

"So what did Kyoya Senpai say?"

"Well we're going to discuss it further but I'm pretty much gonna be an errand girl." I informed

"Yes we can face this madness together." she said in relief

"Dearest we're usually the ones causing it."

"Especially when we get your family involved sugar." she laughed

"Excuse me Sanko San?" a guest piped in

"Please just call me Tomuru or Tomo." I insisted

"Well Tomuru are you Haruhi's girlfriend?" she asked eagerly

"...Beg ya pardon?"

"Are you and Haruhi an item?" one of her friends urged

"Er no, just platonic best friends ladies." I clarified, looking to Haruhi to back me up only to find her across the room being lectured by Tamaki on being a gentleman.

"Has the Honour Student always been so scruffy?" one guest asked innocently, though I thought it was a little rude

"No he's a beautiful boy really. I suppose the glasses do hide his eyes." I replied

"It's an epidemic." a red haired girl murmured as she went past me

"Sorry Madam?" I questioned

"Commoner scum infiltrating our nice school." she muttered looking in Haruhi's direction

"Listen darling I don't give a damn what you think of me, I'm here to support my friend. And if I hear you speaking crap about said friend I will be less than civil." I replied, showing I wasn't intimidated by that bitch

I then searched for Haruhi, who I couldn't find anywhere.

"Where's Haruhi?" I asked to no one in particular

"Haru-Chan's changing clothes." little dude replied, digging into some cake.

"Oh...Why?"

"Bosses orders. We've given your friend a bit of a makeover." One twins answered

"OK can I go see him?"

"He should be done changing by now." Tamaki said

When the guests left we went to see if Haruhi was done changing. I followed the Hosts to I assume the changing rooms.

"Uh Senpai?" I heard Haruhi say behind a curtain.

"Aren't you done changing yet?" Tamaki said impatiently

"You sure it's OK for me to keep this uniform?" Haruhi asked opening the curtain

Haruhi was wearing the male school uniform and she wore contact lenses instead of her glasses.

"Cute! You're as pretty as a girl. Adorable!" Tamaki exclaimed in delight

"Haru-Chan you look so cute!" the little dude complimented

"If we had known that's how you really looked..." One twin started

"...we would've helped you out sooner." the other twin finished

"Who knows he might bring in a few customers." Kyoya said

"You know that's just what I was thinking. Our errand boy is moving up the ranks. I will personally train you to be a first rate host. If you can get 100 guests to request you we can forget all about your eight million yen debt." Tamaki proclaimed

"A HOST!" Haruhi exclaimed

"It's not funny Tomo!" Haruhi added, whilst I was trying to contain my giggles

"Tis, Tis, Tis."

"How so?" Tamaki asked confused

"Uh my dearest Haruhi has never really been a Casanova. He has very little experience in wooing the ladies." I lied quickly, although it wasn't lying per say.

"He wooed you." the twins interjected

"I didn't woo Tomo!" Haruhi protested

"What so Tomuru wooed you then?" one twin guessed

"No one wooed nobody. Platonic best friends got it?" I clarified

"Shall we go through your role in the Host club Tomuru?" Kyoya changed the subject

"Good idea" I agreed

"There's going to be another commoner working in the Host Club?" Tamaki asked excitedly

"If your majesty will allow me. Haruhi begged me to help him out with paying his debt. Speaking of which... 8 MILLION YEN for a freaking vase are you guys serious!"

"A priceless renaissance vase." Tamaki interjected

"It's not priceless it's 8 million yen. That's a price my friend." I argued

"So you're going to be the new dog since Haruhi's training to be a Host?" one twin guessed

"Yep I'm the new bitch."

"SHE SWORE!" Tamaki shrieked

"Actually the word 'bitch' is another term for a female dog." Kyoya added

"...Oh"

"I made my formal greeting earlier may I be rash to ask you lots?"

"Well as you know I am Tamaki Suoh, the princely type, there's Kyoya Ootori, the cool type, the twins Hikaru and Kauru Hitachiin, the little devil type, Mitskuni Honinosuka aka Honey, the boy Lolita and Takashi Morinosuka aka Mori, the stoic type." Tamaki introduced

"Great so what am I gonna be doing as the role of 'dog' anyway?"

"Just errands around the club. Making tea, food shopping, handing out cakes and snacks to the guests, stock check that sort of thing." Kyoya answered

"Simple enough. When do I start?"

"You shall start tomorrow. Host club hours start at 3:30" Tamaki said

"My classes finish at 3 pm but I'll try to make it by then. Dearest how long does it take for you to get here in the morning?"

"Usually half an hour walking but that's by taking a few shortcuts. Wait a minute I've told you this yesterday." Haruhi replied

"Oh yeah...it takes 10 minutes to get home from school. Okay show me the route you take later. When does the club finish for the Hosts?"

"5 pm" Kyoya said

"Alright I think I have all the information I need."

"It's five o'clock now so we'll see you guys tomorrow. C'mon sugar let's show you the route." Haruhi stated grabbing her school things, linking arms with me and heading towards the door.

"Get ready to Host tomorrow." Tamaki called as we left

* * *

**Sooo, first thoughts? This is my first OHSHC I've published so far**

**Tomuru: HIYA!**

**Me: Ow why did you just karate chop my neck? **

**Tomuru: "****_shrugs" _****thought it'd be a new way to greet people.**

**Me: What by injuring them?**

**Tomuru: Well why else do people say 'Hiya' as a greeting?**

**Me: Because it's slang for 'Hello' you dipstick!**

**Tomuru: Oooooh, nah I like my version better. HIYA dearest!**

**Haruhi: OW what the hell Tomo?**


	2. Episode 1 Part 2

**Next Chapter for you lovelies**

**Tomuru: Raaawwwrrr **

**Me: What are you doing now?**

**Tomuru: Duh? Dinosaur now shush dinosaurs don't speak!**

_**(Gnaws on my head as I'm typing)**_

**Me: Okay uuuh Enjoy!**

* * *

**Haruhi's Narrative**

"Haruhi when is Tomuru getting here? It's almost opening time." Tamaki asked impatiently

"I don't know. Depends on whether she's lost or not." I replied

Then Kyoya's phone rang

"Hello? No Haruhi's not busy at the moment. Alright I'll pass you over. Haruhi it's Tomuru." Kyoya said handing his phone over to me.

"Hey sugar, you lost?" I greeted

"Yeah no shit Sherlock! I have no clue where I am." Tomuru snapped

"Are there any street signs around you?"

"No I'm in...I'm in a freaking cow field okay!"

"WHAT!" I exclaimed cackling

"Stop laughing. Look I'll retrace my steps to a place I recognise."

"OK you do that."

"Haruhi the cows are looking at me funny. I think they know I had a cheeseburger last night." she whispered urgently

"Well don't say it aloud or the cows will hear you! Just walk back, don't run or they'll stampede." I advised

"Right... nice heifers, pretty heifers." she said nervously

"She's in a cow field." I clarified to the Hosts

"Why?" the twins asked

"To bring some milk. She's lost, Tomo's kinda rubbish with direction." I supplied

"Where are you know?" I asked her

"I managed to make it into town. Have no idea how but can you meet me here pleeease." Tomo pleaded

"Fine where exactly are you?" I sighed

"By the duck fountain. The one with Bernard's gang. They're looking at me Haruhi. Bernard is sending me some bitchy glares."

"I'm coming just stay there."

"Love you dearest!" she said appreciatively

"Yeah, yeah"

I hung up and handed Kyoya his phone back.

"Guys Tomo needs saving so I have to go meet her otherwise she'll just get stuck in another cow field." I told the Hosts

"But you'll miss greeting the guests." Tamaki protested

"I'll be as quick as possible I promise."

"Well best get a move on then." Kyoya sighed

I ran out of the room and down the stairs

"Tomo you moron" I muttered to myself

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"Damn my sense of direction." I scorned myself quietly, sitting on the bench furthest away from the duck fountain

My phone rang and it was Kyoya.

"Is he coming?" I asked hopefully

"He's coming. By the way a cow field?" he replied, I could tell he was amused by my sense of direction

"I know my direction is terrible. SHUT UP BERNARD!" I suddenly shouted, there was no one else there to get startled

"What?" Kyoya asked on the other end

"Nothing just my arch enemy that won't stop quacking."

"You're arch enemy is a duck?"

"Yes"

"...well the guests are arriving now so you two better get back here soon."

"I'll get your newest Host back as fast as Flash!"

"Good"

Then he hung up on me.

"Rude" I muttered

Then I saw Haruhi in the distance, panting. I went up to meet her.

"Haruhi my saviour!" I exclaimed glomping her

"Back...Club...Now!" she gasped trying to catch her breath

"I'll give you a piggyback dearest." I offered, letting her go on my back

"Have I told you how much I love you?" I asked sweetly

"Not enough and I ran all the way here do I'm not happy" Haruhi grumbled

"I'm sorry dear I'll try and not get lost tomorrow OK?"

"Fat chance of that happening! Take a right turn here."

**Minutes later...**

"OK this seems familiar now" I said

"What the massive pick building aka Ouran Academy?"

"Yes now C'mon we're already late." I urged

"Thanks to you!" she accused

"You know me well enough to know this was an eventuality." I pointed out

"True." she sighed, getting off my back

"We're here sorry about being tardy." I greeted once we were at the club

"You're here now at least. Haruhi your first guests are waiting at table 3." Kyoya informed

"Break a leg dearest." I said cheerfully pushing her towards the table

"I have no idea what I'm supposed to do." she whimpered

"Relax just be yourself...but not too much." I advised vaguely

"Gee thanks." Haruhi remarked dryly

"So what is my first task Senpai sir?" I asked Kyoya, saluting like a soldier.

"First you will serve tea and cakes to the guests and Hosts at each table, follow me." Kyoya instructed

I followed him to the kitchen. There he showed me how to set up the tea sets, where everything was, gave me a list of cakes the guests prefer and how they like their teas or coffees made.

"All clear?"

"Yep" I confirmed

I went to each table and offered beverages to the guests. They were all quite friendly and curious about my 'commoner' background. Once I was serving at Haruhi's table I got to see how she was getting on.

"So is it alright if tomorrow we can request you to sit with us again?" A guest asked Haruhi dreamily

"Yeah I'd really appreciate that ladies." Haruhi replied cheerfully

"Anything from the trolley ladies...and gentleman?" I asked winking at Haruhi

"So did Tomuru help you through that difficult part of your life?" One guest questioned curiously

"Yeah she's been my best friend since I could remember." Haruhi answered

"Wait, what?"

"Haruhi's mother passing away." another guest supplied

"Oh of course I was there for him. I slept over at his house for weeks for support." I said

"Aw that's so sweet. It must be weird you two going to different schools huh?" a guest guessed

"Definitely we've always been joint at the hip for years. But if it makes my dearest happy." I agreed

"You're such a good friend!" a guest approved

"Thanks, well I have to serve the other guests. Lovely chatting with you." I said politely

"Could we chat more some other time. We'd love to hear what Haruhi was like in Middle school." the guests said eagerly

"Sure thing, I certainly have a few stories up my sleeve for you there." I replied, giving another wink towards Haruhi

Once I finished serving the guests I went to find Kyoya.

"What's next?" I asked him

"Could you run a stock check to make sure the costumes are ready for next week?" he said handing me a clipboard

"Costumes?"

"Yes the Hosts cosplay from time to time to ensure the guests are entertained." he explained

"Well that explains why there are changing rooms in a music room." I thought aloud

Kyoya led me to the wardrobes beside the changing rooms. I ticked off the correct cosplay for each Host to wear. As I did so I heard the noise outside.

"Mori Senpai, help me!" I heard Haruhi plead, then...

"Mori Senpai you really didn't have to go that far. Come on little one let daddy give you a big hug." I heard Tamaki say

"Daddy?" I thought

"Everything okay in..." Kyoya started coming in

I shushed him and listened further.

"I've already gotta dad I don't need another." Haruhi said bluntly

"Okay sorry Ootori Senpai. I've checked the costumes. Double checked."

"Good then you can run a small errand for me." Kyoya replied, gesturing me to follow

"I need you to return a few books to the library for me. The nearest library is just down the hall." Kyoya requested

"Nearest one? How many libraries does this school have?"

"Four" he answered, handing me his library card and books

"Won't be long then." I chirped, heading down the hall

"Don't get stuck in a cow field." the twins called

"I'll try." I called back

"This library's huge." I though to myself

It was filled with students, which were mostly chatting rather than reading. I slowly weaved my way to the return desk

"Well Mr Ootori you look different." the librarian quipped as I handed him Kyoya's library card

"Yes the operation was a complete success." I replied cheekily, then I left the library

Just as I entered the hallway I bumped into a running Haruhi.

"What's the rush I'm not lost?" I joked

"Someone threw my bag in the pond. Help me retrieve it." she said quickly

"Fiend" I gasped

I ran alongside Haruhi, only to stop in our tracks by the red haired snooty girl from earlier.

"Oh it's you again? I bet you looove Tamaki making you over and fawning over you. It's useless though, you'll always be a second class citizen." she sneered then continued walking

"BITCH!" I shouted at her, before grabbing Haruhi and running away cackling at the red head's shock expression

"Tomo you could have made the situation worse." Haruhi scorned lightly, both of knee deep in water fishing for bag supplies.

"She had it coming. How dare she say such a thing to my Haruhi! I bet she threw your bag in the pond too." I accused

"Yeah I agree. Guess there're bullies everywhere." Haruhi noted

"Oh by the way..._there'll be no repercussions to this detail_." I mimicked

"Shut up!" she snapped splashing me with water

"Hey commoner you've got some nerve skipping out on the club like that. Why is your bag all wet?" Tamaki said, appearing what seemed out of nowhere

"It's no big deal we've got it. Haruhi can't find his food money though." I answered not looking up

Tamaki then got in and searched with us.

"Hey you don't have to do that you'll get wet." Haruhi protested

"A little water never hurt anyone. Besides people keep telling me that I'm dripping with good looks." Tamaki replied, smiling a little

"How can you drip with good looks?" I pondered to myself

"Hang on a second...is this what you're looking for?" Tamaki said holding Haruhi's wallet, whilst Haruhi had a distant look on her face

"What's wrong you're staring off into space. You're not falling for him are you?" I teased, smiling at her distant expression

"No way!" she snapped snatching her wallet back from Tamaki

"How did your bag end up in the pond anyway?" Tamaki wondered

"Uh...well I guess I dropped it out of the window at some point." Haruhi lied

**INNER MONOLOGUE**

_'Haruhi that was the crappiest lie I've ever heard' I scoffed_

_'Just keep it between us. We haven't got enough proof that girl did it and we can't afford to start accusing guests!'_

_'Whatever'_

**BACK AT THE CLUB ROOM**

I returned Kyoya's library card to him.

"Good, now you are relieved of your services until the guests leave. Then you need to clean up after them and wash any used dishes and silverware clear?"

"Transparently! By the way the male librarian thinks you've had a sex change." I rushed

"What?"

"Nothing" I sang walking away from him quickly.

"Tomo!" the twins exclaimed dragging me to their table

"Hello, love to chat but I need to rescue Haruhi from redhead over there." I said cheerfully, noticing that fiend requested her

"Why he's doing his job as Host?" One twin questioned

"Besides we want to ask you a few questions." the other commented

I explained to them why I didn't like her

"Oh so you think she threw Haruhi's bag in the pond?" a twin summed up

"Who else would it be? She's just envious of Haruhi because Tamaki is giving him attention." I confirmed

"That's quite an accusation Tomuru. Especially towards a paying customer." Kyoya said listening in on the conversation

"Yeah well that girl is bad news trust me."

"AAAH NO HARUHI LEAVE ME ALONE! SOMEBODY HELP ME HE JUST ATTACKED ME! SOMEONE DO SOMETHING TEACH THIS COMMONER A LESSON!"

"Well speak of the devil" I thought as the girl screeched

She and Haruhi were on the floor, Haruhi herself was on top of her looking shocked. The table they sat at was toppled sideways. The twins chucked water on the pair of them, reasons unknown. I went to help Haruhi up.

"Why did you do that?" the girl asked unsurely before Tamaki helped her up

"Do something Tamaki, Haruhi just assaulted me." she whimpered like a damsel in distress

"Yeah because he's the type of dude to randomly jump on girls in a crowded room!" I remarked sarcastically

"I'm disappointed in you. You threw Haruhi's bag into the pond didn't you?" Tamaki said seriously

"You don't know that. Do you have any proof that I did?" she replied slightly hysterically

"You know you are a beautiful girl. But you're not classy enough to be our guest dear. If there's one thing I know Haruhi is not that kind of a man." Tamaki continued

"But why Tamaki...YOU IDIOT!" she shouted running out of the room

"Good riddance." I mumbled

"Hmm now how am I going to punish you because it is your fault after all. Your quarter is now 1000!" Tamaki declared

"One thousand" Haruhi whimpered, sinking back down to the floor again.

"What do you mean it's his fault?" I protested

"Dude just let it go." Haruhi sighed

"Come on, I have high expectations of you my little rookie." Tamaki said cheerfully, helping Haruhi up on her feet

"This is the only spare uniform we have. Sorry but it's better than a wet one right?" Kyoya interjected giving Haruhi a bag

"Thanks a lot you guys I better go change." She thanked heading to the changing rooms.

"Well that was a load of drama. I better clean up this mess." I commented lightly heading to the kitchen to find a mop and bucket

Once I cleaned up that mess I heard Tamaki shriek from the direction of the changing rooms. When I arrived at the changing rooms I found all the Hosts congregated around Haruhi, who was wearing the horrid female uniform. Tamaki face was bright red which I assumed meant that he knew that Haruhi was a chick.

"Uh Oh dearest, do they know your little secret?" I gasped in amusement

"Well isn't this an interesting development." Kyoya said smirking

"Oh yeah!" the twins agreed

"...You all knew apart from Tamaki didn't you?" I sussed, to which the hosts nodded their heads

"Uh I have to say Senpai I thought you were pretty cool earlier." Haruhi complimented cheerfully, making Tamaki go even redder

"Correct me if I'm wrong but I think we are witnessing the beginnings of looove here." I predicted to Kyoya smirking at the way Tamaki is looking at Haruhi

"My sentiments exactly." he agreed sharing the smirk I had.

"Being a Host and being fussed over by a bunch of girls may not be that bad. I wonder how I can pull it off... I know I can call everyone dude and bro now." Haruhi joked

"You already say dude dearest. But if you start saying 'bro' or 'swag' I will disown you" I warned

"By the way you seem uncomfortable Tamaki Senpai." I added

"I-I don't know if I can handle this." Tamaki whimpered

"Sure you can, you're the King remember." I assured vaguely

"I don't really care if you guys see me as a boy a or girl. But I do think I can repay my debt quicker if I was Host." Haruhi said logically

"As long as you're a member of the Host Club we'll keep your secret no matter what!" Tamaki declared, perking up suddenly

"Right now we've got that sorted. I better start with the dishes."

"You may leave once they've been put away." Kyoya informed

"I'll help you out sugar." Haruhi offered

"Thank you dearest." I said gratefully

"Wait I have questions about you guys." one twin whined, who I'll now refer to as Tweedledum

"It can till tomorrow. I think as first days goes it has been a long one." I waved off

"Couldn't agree more." Haruhi nodded

* * *

**Me: OK seriously your getting drool in my eye pack it in!**

**Tomuru: Never (****_continues gnawing until she coughs and gags)_**

**Me: That'd probably be my hair.**

_**(Tomuru spits out hairball)**_

**Me:...Disgusting**

**Tomuru: I'm gonna show dearest. (****_Runs off to find Haruhi)_**

**Me: Poor, poor Haruhi (Shakes my head)**

**Haruhi from other room: WHAT THE HELL! WHY WOULD YOU...THAT'S SO GROSS!**


	3. Episode 1 Part 3

**Me: Thanks for all of you lovelies following this story!**

**Tomuru: Wait there are people following us? (****_she looks around herself in a panic)_**

**Me: Tomuru '****_sigh'_**** no not like that you moron**

**Tomuru: Shh they could have bugged the walls. I'm onto you Stalkers!**

**Me: Shut up, anyhow this chapter just gives you a bit more information about Tomuru.**

**DISCLAIMER: I haven't put one on yet but I do not own OHSHC or it's brilliant characters.**

* * *

**Tomuru's Narration**

The past few days have gone by quite quickly in my opinion and yes I have gotten lost. However I only needed Haruhi's rescue on one of those occasions. For that week I got interrogated by the Hosts an guests almost constantly (Especially by Tweedledum and Tweedledee).

**THURSDAY AKA Day 2 of Errand Girl**

"How did you get Kyoya Senpai's number?" Haruhi asked as I served tea to her guests

"He gave it to me as a contact number to inform the club when I can't make it or if I'm late." I answered simply

"By the way you said you won't be late today you cheese monkey!"

"I know, I know, I need to get used to the route."

"Hey Tomo we want to ask you things." the Tweeds said dragging me to their sofa, where their guests sat

"Well I did say you could fire away!"

"What's the deal between you and Haruhi?" Tweedledum asked

"Platonic best friends I've told you guys this." I sighed, bored of repeating myself over and over.

"Yeah so what's the deal with whole 'sugar' 'dearest' business?" Tweedledee argued

"It started when we were 12. One of our friends joked that we were as close as a leessaaa...couple. So as a joke we started calling each-other names. Haruhi picked Sugar and I picked Dearest. They sort of stuck to this day." I explained, almost giving away Haruhi's secret to the twin's guests

"Aw that's so cute!" a few guests cooed, obviously none the wiser

"Well that's one mystery solved. Why does Haruhi act so differently around you? In class he acts so dull and always concentrates on work and acts mature. With you he's more..."

"Easy going, down to earth, weird?" I listed

"Exactly!"

Tamaki was listening intently now.

"Don't take it personally fellows. Believe me I act differently without Haruhi around too. I'm a quiet, head in the clouds, nerd. Haruhi and I sort of just channel our weirdness we conceal at school." I tried to put into words.

When I got a load of blank stares I tried to put it simpler

"Alright basically me and Haruhi have been close friends since we were three and have always acted weird towards one another and no one else."

"Oh so you two are just really close friends?" Tamaki summed up

"Yes"

"Next question! Why did Haruhi want to come to Ouran Academy in the first place?" Tamaki asked

"Oh because he wants to be a lawyer when he's older."

"What's your career path Tomo?" Tweedledee questioned

"I...don't know really. It would be cool to be an author like my mum, I mean Literature is my strong point. I don't really like the fame that goes with it though."

"Your mother's an author? Has she written anything we would've heard of?" Tweeds stated curiously

"Sumi Sanko, author of the Tomboy series." Kyoya interjected

"That's right she's writing the third book of the series as we speak." I confirmed

"I'm actually a fan of your mother's work" Kyoya informed

"Really? I'm surprised you have the time to read." I stated in mild surprise

"What is it about?" Tamaki asked curiously

"Their fiction books that are based on current issues, mainly feminism and equality." Kyoya began explaining

"The story itself is about a girl forced to attend an all boys school. There she gets treated as a lesser..." I continued

"Excuse me may we have a refill on tea over here?" One guest called from table 5

"Right away princess" I replied

"Gotta serve but I recommend you read the books. They're brilliant, I'm her biggest fan"

"No I'm her biggest fan!" Haruhi called over to us

"HA you wish!"

I tended to Honey and Mori's guests, chatting to them as I poured tea.

"Do you like sweets Tomo-Chan?" Honey asked, stuffing another forkful of cake into his mouth

"I love sweets Honey Senpai. Chocolate buttons are my particular favourite, though I can't say no to cake."

"I love all sweets! Usa-Chan does too"

"Who?"

Honey held up a pink bunny plushie in front of me.

"Oh I'm sorry we haven't been formally introduced. Hello Usa-Chan my name is Tomuru Sanko, it's a pleasure to meet you." I greeted to the bunny holding my hand out

Honey looked ecstatic holding out Usa-Chan's paw for me to shake formally, giggling childishly.

"Usa-Chan says it is a pleasure to meet you too and wants you to have some cake with us." Honey spoke for Usa-Chan

"Maybe when I've finished my errand girl duties."

Once I tended to all the errands Kyoya wanted of me I returned to Honey's table as the guests were leaving.

"Yay cake-time! Which cake do you want Tomo-Chan?"

"Any will do, so long as there's no sushi in it. Do you have any red velvet cake I've wanted to try that for ages?"

"We have red velvet cake. Don't you like sushi?"

"Not really, I'm allergic to raw fish. It gives me the same reaction I would have if I ate raw chicken, nasty business." I informed

"Ooh"

I ate my slice of cake contently answering more questions from both Honey and the Tweeds, who joined us

"How many brothers or sisters do you have?" Hikaru asked (I assume)

"One little brother Rossi who's 12, an older brother Marco who's 19 and an older sister Yuki who's 21." I answered

"Are they as mad as you?" Kauru said (again just basing it on the different voices)

"My family is a bit bonkers. My mother believes in a few myths and legends, to which she passed onto me and Rossi. My sister has a huge temper and my brother I suppose is quite normal really. Aside from the puppet I guess." I laughed

"What about your father?" Tamaki piped in

"My dad is out of the picture. Left when Rossi was two." I waved off

"Sorry about that Tomo-Chan."

"Eh, it's no big deal. After my dad left mum went back into writing and created the Tomboy series, he was just weighing us down." I shrugged

"Who was weighing you down?" Haruhi questioned, now just joining the conversation.

"My dad"

"Oh, yeah he was a prickly pear."

"Definite prickly pear." I agreed

"Don't worry I shall be your new daddy!" Tamaki declared

"Yeah OK."

"Really?" he squealed in delight

"Sure what's the harm" I shrugged

Then he gave me a massive glomp...and didn't let go.

"By the way I cleaned up the tables for ya. You just need to wash up sugar." Haruhi added

"Thanks dearest, right new dad I've got plates, teacups and forks to wash." I said trying to squirm out of the hug

"Aww but my little Tommi is so cute!" Tamaki squeezed me tighter and spun me around

**INNER MONOLOGUE**

_"Hey sugar"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"What's the harm?" she mimicked_

_"Shut your cake-hole"_

**BACK TO THE OUTER WORLD**

"Tamaki let her go she has a job to do." Kyoya stated sternly

Tamaki let go reluctantly and I went to wash the dishes.

"Finished" I sighed after what seemed like a hill of dirty dishes to clean

"Right?" I verified to Kyoya

"Yes you are done for today."

"Good...what time is it?"

"4:45 pm" Haruhi informed

"What's your favourite colour?" Tweedledee asked

"Don't have one, I like lots of colours."

"Haruhi same question." Tweedledum said

"Red...why?" she answered skeptically

"Just curious. Favourite animal" the twins said simply

"My dog Boris!" "Tomo's dog Boris!" both me and Haruhi said at the same time

"Specific. So you have a dog I presume." Kyoya presumed, writing in his black notebook

"Yep he's a big cream Shar-Pei, two years old and is a big goofball. Come along dearest it is five o'clock."

"Aww." the light haired Hosts moaned

"Right away sugar."

**FRIDAY AKA Day 3 of errand girl duties**

"Are you wearing your school uniform Tomuru?" a guest asked, looking at my dark red and white uniform with black skirt and the Higashi emblem on the blazer.

"Yeah I go straight from my school to Ouran Academy, if I don't get lost that is."

"Which school do you attend?"

"Higashi High...it's a public high school."

"Oh there's a public high school near us." another guest added

"If I knew I'd be an errand girl at the Host Club I would've gone to Ouran public high school." I sighed, thinking of how easy my life would be if I did.

"Doggie you're needed" Hikaru called

"Here girl!" Kauru called, both of the twins laughing

"Sorry ladies I'm needed."

"Can we chat another time?"

"Of course I enjoy your company ladies. I know Haruhi does too." I said warmly, causing them to squeal and swoon.

I went to the twin's table just as they were doing they're 'brotherly love' act. I wolf-whistled them

"Did you just wolf-whistle us?"

"Yes get a room you two."

"We've got one filled with ladies who enjoy our brotherly love." Hikaru said

"It's icky though. What do you want me for?"

"Refill on tea." Hikaru said, holding his teacup at me

"The teapot is right there." I pointed to the steaming teapot which was a few inches away from them.

"So?" the twins chimed, smirking

"So can't you pour your tea yourself?"

"Nooo" They responded cheekily

"Fine" I sighed

"Good girl!" the twins cooed patting my head.

I poured tea for their guests as well.

"Are you close with your siblings?" a blonde guest asked

"Not as close as these two, I don't think that's possible, but yeah we're pretty close, I'm especially close with my little brother Rossi." I answered

Just then my phone rang, to which I answered

"Hey Yuki what's up?"

"ROSSI IS IN DETENTION! HE GOT IN A FIGHT WITH THREE BOYS WHO GANGED UP ON HIM!" Yuki screeched on the other line

"Did he win?" I asked calmly

"YEAH! He beaten the living daylights out of them, despite one being 15. I assumed it was because they swore, you know what Rossi is like with swearing. Rossi is the only one getting punished, even though he also got injured in this ordeal."she babbled

"WHAT THAT'S RIDICULOUS!" I shouted silencing the room

"Ya think? I bet it's because Rossi's 'different'."

"Hold on I'm being rude I'm going outside."

"Kay"

"Family trouble" I informed quickly, heading out of the room

"Continue, does Motherlord know?"

"It was her mobile they called to inform us of the incident. Mum was not happy, you know how she gets into her writing flow. Guess what else they said. The Dean said that Rossi has to wear the male uniform so as not to 'distract other students' from learning." she spat

"Rossi is though! He's wearing the blazer and white shirt, students have the option of wearing either trousers, shorts or skirts." I exclaimed

"I think that refers to the girls at that school T." Yuki seethed

"If girls can wear trousers, boy should be able to wear skirts. ARGH!" I complained in frustration

"Want me to lawyer some sense into them." Haruhi offered, who joined me outside listening in on the conversation

"Already got it covered H. Mum's going to that school to speak with the Dean and if need be the Chairman." Yuki said

"No way mum's going out? She's always in that study of hers." I laughed, knowing if the Motherlord on the case then God help them.

"Marco and I are joining her." she added

"This is pretty serious huh?" Haruhi muttered

"Damn right it is! I'm going too!" I insisted

"School remember" Yuki pointed out

"This is way more important than..." I started to argue

"NO! Rossi would feel too guilty if he found out you were skipping classes for this." Yuki objected firmly

"Okay fine! One of you three better punch someone for me then." I growled

"It'll get sorted sugar." Haruhi assured, holding my free hand

"You bet! Look you better get back to your errand girl duties. You'll be home soon so we'll talk more then." Yuki stated

"Yeah, yeah seeya Yuki." I muttered

We returned to the Host club and everyone looked in our direction, before hastily going about their chatting, flirting or tea slurping.

"What was that about?" Hikaru asked curiously

"Like I said family business." I replied a little coldly

"But I'm your Daddy, I should know." Tamaki interjected

"Leave it Senpai." Haruhi snapped, which made Tamaki go into his dark aura

Once the guests were gone I tended to my usual errands in quiet thought.

"Your errands finished?" Kyoya asked, once I finished, to which I nodded my head

"Are you OK Tomo-Chan?" Honey asked in concern

"Not really Honey Senpai." I sighed, with a small smile

"Come on Tomuru just tell us the phone call was." Hikaru whined, annoyed that he was denied information

"OK fine, nosy boys."

"No Tomo you don't have to..." Haruhi protested

"No it's OK. Basically that phone call was from Yuki. She told me that Rossi has been put in detention for defending himself from three boys, two Middle school boys and one High school student. Only Rossi is getting punished." I explained grimly

"Well that's stupid." Hikaru commentated

"Why is only Rossi-Chan getting punished?" Honey wondered innocently

"Because Rossi is different that's why!" I exclaimed, raising my voice a bit

"Different how exactly?" Tamaki asked softly

"Rossi...he likes to wear clothing items that are deemed feminine, he likes playing with toys with a girl target audience and basically loves everything that is stereotyped to the female gender." I explained, with a tone that says '_if you have a problem with it I'll beat you senseless'_

"He has been bullied and harassed for his choice. People have accused my mother, my sister and even myself of being cruel and that we're 'forcing him' to wear such attire. Do you know how hard we had to fight for Rossi to wear the female school uniform at school?" I ranted further started to pace

"You maybe the most brilliant sister I've met." Tamaki chuckled approvingly

"Yeah I am and will continue to be one. I love Rossi and he has been unhappy for a while. In Elementary school they assigned him to the school therapist without my mum's consent to 'change' him, which made him think he was a freak. I punched the therapist when I found out didn't I dearest?"

"Yeah I made you a cake to congratulate you." Haruhi laughed

"Remind me to never harm any of your loved ones." Kyoya interjected

"Kyoya Senpai do not harm my loved ones." I reminded

"Hey it's passed five we better go so you can hug Rossi." Haruhi said

"Right you are! Seeya guys Monday" I returned to my more cheerful self

* * *

**Me: Tomuru you are not calling the police on my readers! **

**Tomuru: Yes I am, nasty stalkers**

**Me: Put. The. Phone. Down**

**Tomuru: NEVER!**

**Me: That's it you left me no choice...**

_**(I unleashed Tomo's arch nemesis Bernard the duck on her)**_

**Tomuru: AAH SHUT UP BERNARD! ****_(Angry quacking noises)_**

**Me: There that should do it. Seeya guys next time.**


	4. Episode 2 Part 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the anime or manga of OHSHC**

**Me: Haruhi where's Tomuru? I don't trust her alone.**

**Haruhi: She's gone to find Boris so you can't use her arch nemesis against her again.**

**Me: Alright then...here's the next chapter! Sorry it's a little shorter than usual.**

* * *

"So...Tropical Paradise theme today?" I guessed looking around the club room jungle decor and what the Host's were wearing.

"Nirvana to be precise, they even brought in wildlife." Haruhi replied, pointing to the Toucans and parrots

"That's so cool! I want a parrot"

"You're not having a parrot!" Haruhi objected

"You never let me have anything." I pouted

"You also have an outfit daughter dear. I think you'll like it." Tamaki said excitedly

"I don't mind dressing up. Though it seems a certain someone does. Dearest I can't help but notice you're not in cosplay?" I said

"Yeah well you know me. I prefer to wear early spring attire in early spring."

"We'll show you the outfit!" the twins interjected dragging me to the changing rooms

I was presented with a long, cream dress with Greek style gold plated pattern on the chest and cuff area and gold belt, with gold sandals and gold bangle to match. I changed into said dress and put my uniform in my school bag.

"We need to do your hair and makeup." the twins insisted making me sit in front a dressing table, already starting to brush my hair

I started to fidget in my chair, as it felt like the twins were taking ages.

"Are you guys nearly finished? You have guests to tend to."

"OK done, what do you think?" Tweeds said

"Tis very gold, but I like it. You guys can put on makeup better than I ever could." I approved, looking at the gold eye shadow, light pink lipstick and Egyptian type eyeliner. My hair down with a plait down the middle.

I returned the club I took over tea serving from Haruhi.

"You look gorgeous sugar." Haruhi complimented

"Thank you dearest." I replied

"Oh and I almost to mention to you ladies, next week the Host club will be sponsoring a party." I overheard Tamaki inform his guests

"We're throwing a party?" Haruhi thought aloud

"What kind of party is it going to be. Is it going to be formal?" a light brown haired guest from the twin's table asked

"Yes we even rented the schools largest hall..." Hikaru answered

"It's the perfect place for dancing." Kauru finished

"But I really wanted to spend some alone time with you Kauru." Hikaru pined softly, holding his brother's cheek being mere inches from him.

"Don't be upset Hikaru, I know exactly how you feel." Kauru murmured, a slight blush on his cheeks, which of course made their guests swoon for some reason.

I wolf-whistled at them, which I was going to do every time they did that barely legal act.

"So you plan to do that every time they perform that 'brotherly love' act?" Haruhi sussed, like she knew what I was thinking

"Yes, yes I am."

"Tomuru you look lovely in that dress." a guest at the twin's table told me

"Thank you Princess, though it was mainly the twin's work. You ladies look this lovely every day without the twin's assistance of course." I replied, letting them indulge in my compliments to them whilst I handed out cakes and sweets.

Once the guests left I had a challenge helping with taking the decorations down, especially in capturing the exotic birds.

" ...birds. I'm sure birds hate me." I gasped, out of breath from running around, my hair a mess with the amount of times parrots got tangled in it.

Everyone was sat at a long table planning the party, except Tamaki who appeared to be pouting and eating ramen.

"What's got Tamaki in the mood?" I asked no one in particular

"Beats me?" Haruhi shrugged

"Hey boss quit eating that commoners ramen and help us with the party planning." Hikaru called to him

"Does it really bother you that Princess Kosika has taken a liking to Haruhi?" Kauru scoffed

"He shouldn't be surprised she's had the illness for a while now hasn't she?" Kyoya said, typing on his laptop

"What illness?" Haruhi asked in concern

"She's got the Host hopping disease..." Hikaru started

"...Aka the never the same boy twice disease." Kauru finished, both standing behind Kyoya symmetrically

"Usually a guest settles for one Host and sees him regularly. However Princess Kosika seems to change her favourites, on a regular basis." Kyoya explained

"That's right because before she was with you she was with Tama-Chan." Honey added

"Oh so he's upset that I took her from him?" Haruhi sussed

"SHUT UP I COULDN'T CARE LESS!" Tamaki shouted at Haruhi

"Yeah because that tone of voice always conveys a level of not caring." I muttered sarcastically to myself

"I'm running out of patience. Haruhi it's time you started dressing like a girl!" Tamaki exclaimed, pointing at her

"Huh?"

"I don't understand how you can be so popular with the ladies when yourself are a lady! No one in the entire school knows your secret except for those of us here." he continued to rant, opening a random treasure chest and taking out a huge picture of Middle school Haruhi. Whilst he was rummaging his ranting didn't stop.

"That's enough Haruhi, now you listen to daddy. Daddy wants you to go back to the way you're used to be!"

"DON'T GO BLOWING UP MY PICTURES WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST!" Haruhi shouted

"Yeah and how did he get it?" I pondered

"I have my sources." Kyoya answered, with a slight smirk

"The more I look at this picture the more amazed I am. How can this become that?" Hikaru compared Middle school Haruhi, to Haruhi on the first day at Ouran academy. The hosts were all crowded around the picture now.

"The day before school started one of the kids from my neighbourhood got some gum in my hair. It's a real pain to get gum out of long hair. So I decided to cut it all off, with Marcos help of course. I didn't care if I looked like a dude ya know." Haruhi explained nonchalantly

"A GIRL SHOULD NEVER REFER TO HERSELF AS A DUDE! MAMMA! Haruhi is using those dirty boy words again." Tamaki complained

"I'm sorry but who is Mamma?" I asked in amusement

"Based on club position I assume it's me." Kyoya sighed, to which I laughed to myself quietly at the notion.

"Look I don't see what you're crying about working as a host I can pay back more of my debt. It'll never happen if I'm just an errand boy." Haruhi stated, looking down at a distraught Tamaki

"Hate to change the subject but do you have formal dancing experience, you'll need it at the party." Hikaru interjected

"Uh no, but the party has nothing to do with my quota right? I'm not interested in going to such events so if I could be excused." Haruhi replied nervously, trying to talk her way out of having to dance.

"Definitely not a refined gentleman must learn how to dance." Tamaki rejected, perking up quickly; "If you want to live like a Host that badly you're going to have to show us how far you're willing to go Haruhi. I order you to master dancing the waltz in one week and you will demonstrate at the night of the party. Or we'll tell the whole school your a girl and knock you back down to errand boy." Tamaki declared

"Good luck dearest." I said lightly

"That does include you too sugar." Haruhi pointed out

"Why do I need to waltz? I'm not a Host, I'd probably be handing out nibbles or whatever." I protested

"No you are to learn to dance the waltz. We've hired maids to take care of the food." Tamaki insisted

"Whatever." I sighed, agreeing reluctantly

"One minute...how did get that bump on your head? Was that always there?" Haruhi noticed pointing to a bruised bump on the top left corner of my forehead.

"Oh I forgot about that. It's nothing." I waved off, covering the bump with my hand

"Tomo spill it." Haruhi, Tamaki and the twins urged

"It's nothing, quit fussing. I just had a little scrap at school." I insisted

"Tomuru Sanko you tell me what happened right now!" Haruhi said sternly, hands on her hips

"Someone didn't hit my daughter did they?" Tamaki gasped, everyone now trying to look at my bump

"Alright, you how one of the boys who harassed Rossi was from the High school. Turns out it was Kai Ukuru, remember him?" I started

"Wasn't he that guy who tried to date every girl in Middle school?" Haruhi replied

"Yep, well he came up to me after classes and started spewing crap about Rossi. Saying he shouldn't have been born and that he's going to beat some sense into him next time he sees him." I continued, growing angrier at the memory

"What happened next?" the twins urged impatiently

"I told him if he went anywhere near my brother I would tear him to shreds like a rabid wolverine, to which he laughed at. So I kicked him in the shins. He stopped laughing then, deciding to punch me in the face ergo the bump and throw me on the ground by my ponytail."

"HE DID WHAT? I'LL KILL HIM!" Haruhi shouted, along with the twins and Tamaki

"Not finished I then got up, kicked him in his tender area, pinched him so hard under his arm it broke the skin and kneed him in the head. i simply told him I was late and walked away." I finished, slightly smirking

"That's my sugar!" Haruhi praised hugging me tight

"You're not going to get into trouble are you?" Honey asked worriedly

"Who knows? I probably bruised his ego among other things. Guys like that don't care to admit they got hurt by a girl. Specially a quiet smarty." I shrugged

"Your family will be proud." Haruhi laughed

"Your father certainly isn't. What were you thinking? Standing up to a boy like that. You would've gotten seriously hurt." Tamaki said sternly holding me by the shoulders

"...OK I understand that you take being my dad very seriously and that you seem to have some old fashioned notions about genders. But I will never stop fighting for my little brother. That goes for the rest of my family, Haruhi, Ranka and even you guys. Girls are a lot tougher than you think Tamaki, not all of need a white knight to save them." I said calmly keeping eye contact on him throughout.

"C'mon dearest lets tell them. Seeya guys tomorrow." I said, returning to my cheerful self

"How can a man do such a thing to a maiden in the first place." Tamaki sighed, returning to his former self as well.

"Well not all boys are handsome gentlemen such as you guys. If they were the world would be a much better place." I answered smiling

* * *

**Me: So what do you think about dancing Tomo?**

**Tomuru: I'd rather dance with Boris.**

**Tomuru proceeded to hold Boris's front paws and dance with him, much to his discomfort.**

**Lola (my Rottweiler cross Akita) then knocked Tomo over whilst trying to get to Boris.**

**Me: Good girl Lola!**

**Tomuru: Lola I thought we were mates! I feel so betrayed**


	5. Episode 2 Part 2

**Me: This chapter's kinda small guys so I'll give ya the next chapter today as well.**

**Tomuru:...**

**Me: Tomuru what do you have in your hand?**

**Tomuru: Nothing!**

**Me: Is that jelly in the shape of the Death Star?**

**Tomuru: Maybe**

**Me: Why...I have no idea with you anymore**

* * *

"Quick, quick, slow, quick, quick... Good work Haruhi! Now on the slow you should bring your feet together and remember the gentleman always leads. And make sure you're looking at the partner you're dancing with." Princess Kosika taught Haruhi

"Got it." Haruhi jinxed before she tripped and fell on top of Koniko.

"Clumsy klutz." I called her, though I don't fare much better in the dancing department

I watched the two of them practise as I did my usual errands. At the corner of my eye I spotted Tamaki, who was also watching gloomily

"Why so gloomy boss?" the twins asked

"I bet it's because he wanted to be the one that Haruhi practise's with." I guessed

"I think you might be right but he's too tall to stand in as a woman" Kauru pointed out

"Don't forget you still need to practise Tomuru." Kyoya reminded

"How could I forget? I still need to do my dog duties first." I replied

"Who's going to be the lucky Host to teach me?" I added

"We'll teach you" the twins replied quickly

"No it is customary for her father to teach his daughter to dance." Tamaki exclaimed

"Since when?" Hikaru scoffed

"Since forever!" Tamaki squealed

"I wanna do it!" Honey announced, then the four of them began bickering

"I never thought I'd have handsome lads fighting over me. I laughed in bemusement

"You pick!" Haruhi suggested from her table

As soon as she suggested it the four Hosts gave me they're best puppy dog expressions.

"Oh don't make those faces at me" I whined

Suddenly someone grabbed my arm from behind and twisted me around.

"Kyoya Siempai?"

"You were taking too long to choose, when you should be doing your errands. the quicker I teach the quicker you can resume them." Kyoya reasoned

"NO FAIR!" the twins and Tamaki exclaimed

"Don't you have guests to tend too?" Kyoya stated calmly

"You guys can take a turn dancing with me later kay?" I offered, lifting their spirits up and returned to their guests

"Now first you place your right hand on my waist and your left hand in mine like so..." He instructed placing my hands in the correct place

"Alright now the hard part. Just a warning there will be a 90% chance I will step on your feet. Having a bad sense of direction doesn't bode well in the dancing department." I warned

"Thank you for the heads up, now as I take a step forward with my right foot you take a step back."

"With my right or left foot?"

"It would be your left foot where you're standing."

"OK"

"You don't have to take that big of a step Tomuru." Kyoya sighed

"You didn't specify how big of a step to take!"

"Yes but I thought you would've seen people waltz on TV."

"I'm also trying not to step on your feet Kyoya."

"Appreciated now..."

"Hello I'm here with the new teacups you ordered." A male voice called

"We'll resume the dance lesson later." Kyoya stated, turning his attention to the boy

"Ah thank you very much. Every item you have chosen for us has been very popular with the ladies. I'm quite impressed." Kyoya greeted the boy pleasantly

"Well that's good to hear." the boy replied earnestly

"Tomuru please put these in the kitchen and arrange them into their matching sets." Kyoya instructed

"The boxes are just by the door." the boy added, pointing to the stacked boxes

There were five boxes in total, so I carried them to the kitchen one by one to prevent accidents. Unpacking the tea sets carefully, I heard a certain conservation outside.

"Oh Haruhi you're so funny. I can't blame you for not knowing after all he doesn't look like the heir to a first class company." I heard Koniko laugh, though to me it sounded like she was hiding another emotion. Just a thought.

"First class company?" Haruhi questioned

I looked at the name that was printed on the box which read 'Suzishima'

"His family runs the Suzishima trading company. They mainly deal with the importing of table wear. So whenever something exceptional is in we ask him to set some aside for us. He has a great eye for fine china, don't you Suzishima." Kyoya informed

"Huh...well they are beautiful." I muttered to myself

"You think? I've still got a lot to learn but thank you." Suzishima replied modestly

"Aren't you leaving next month to study abroad in England?" Kyoya said

"That's correct...well I best be going now." he answered, a little sadly in my opinion.

"England huh? Well if anyone knows tea it's the Brits. I'd love to go there one day." I thought to myself, opening the fourth box

"I get the feeling you and that guy are kinda close." Haruhi spoke, I assume to Koniko

"Don't be ridiculous we hardly know each other. What made you say that Haruhi? Now if you please excuse me take care." Koniko rushed in a panic, leaving the club room

"Haru Chan! You're right they do know each other. Suzishima is Kasika Chan's fiance." Honey said

"Kyoya how long have you known about this?" Tamaki questioned

_Tamaki knows Kyoya too well._

"About the two of them being engaged? Well as you know I conduct general searches on all of our guests. Apparently the two of them were childhood friends. The marriage was set up by their parents. I didn't think the information benefited us so I disregarded it." Kyoya replied

"I see."

"Todu Suzishima, outstanding grades, fair social status, he's ordinary looking but he's reliable. If I could fault him for anything..." Kyoya continued

"He doesn't have much presence..." Hikaru started

"...And he's faint hearted." Kauru added

"So in other words he's boring." Kyoya summed up

"Well aren't you guys bitchy." I quipped, heading out of the kitchen holding empty boxes.

"I didn't know they were so merciless to other guys." Haruhi said to me

"What do you want me to do with the boxes and bubble-wrap?" I asked

"Put them in the storage cupboard." Kyoya said

I did as per instruction, when I returned the Hosts were crowded around a whiteboard.

"Should I ask?" I sighed to Haruhi

"Probably not." she advised

"We're working on a strategy to get Suzishima and Princess Kosika together." Tamaki supplied, continuing to scribble on the whiteboards

"Aw, you little matchmakers." I cooed

"Shall we resume the dance lesson or wait until tomorrow?" Kyoya suggested

"We'll pick it up tomorrow."

"Very well."

"Did you actually learn anything from Kyoya's dance lesson?" Haruhi asked

"Well you don't take huge steps when waltzing I know that much."

* * *

**Tomuru: ehehehe**

**Me: You stay away from me with that jelly! **

**Tomuru: I'm not doing anything!**

**An unsuspecting Haruhi walks in...**

**Haruhi: Hey guys...Tomo what's tha- AAH!**

**Tomuru chucks Death Star jelly at Haruhi **

**Tomuru: IT'S A TRAP!**

**Haruhi: Remind me why we're friends again?**

**Tomuru: Because you loooove widdle ol' me.**

**Haruhi: No I don't think that's it.**

**Tomuru: (Plays smallest violin for herself)**


	6. Episode 2 Part 3

**Me: Second chapter today as promised**

**Haruhi: Where's your mixing bowl?**

**Me: Uh in the cupboard under the hob why?**

**Haruhi: Payback for Tomo from all the crap she's pulled so far.**

**Me: Okay then, never thought of you as the revenge type but go ahead.**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!**

* * *

**THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE PARTY**

"Hello Smello!" I greeted Haruhi at her apartment

"Bringing back an old classic huh? You haven't used that one in years." Haruhi chuckled

"Yep, ready to dance the night away?" I asked spinning around theatrically

"OK let's get it over with. Seeya dad" Haruhi sighed

"Bye Ranka, love ya" I called

"Have fun you two" Ranka called back

**At Ouran Academy...**

"Good evening gentlemen. Don't you look dapper this evening." I complimented

"Finally took you guys long enough." Hikaru huffed impatiently

Hikaru dragged Haruhi and Kauru dragged me to the dressing room.

"Change into this please?" Kauru said, holding up the dress

"Well since you asked so nicely."

I wriggled into a silk black dress, which ends at the knee at the front lengthening towards the back.

"I think this dress is too pretty for me." I said to myself

"Don't be stupid." I heard the twins say behind the curtain

"Help me zip up the back please." I said to one of the twins, opening the curtain

"What?" I questioned seeing the twin's shocked reaction

Then I heard Haruhi wolf-whistle behind me.

"Well don't you look handsome dearest. The gals will be all over ya." I complimented Haruhi

"You certainly look gorgeous in that dress sugar." she replied

"We need to do your hair and makeup." the twins said, snapping out of the weird trance

"Meet you guys there." Haruhi said heading out the door

"Wait zip me up first!" I called dragging her back

She zipped up my dress before leaving.

"All done!" the twins declared after what felt like ages.

They put my hair up into a bun and added a black rose clip. I had black and silver eye shadow plastered on, mascara, dark red lipstick and black sparkly nail polish

"Wow, don't I scrub up nice?"

"Come on the guests will be here soon." the twins said taking me to the dance hall

"It'll be easier if you didn't give me these heels."

We entered the large hall, which was already beginning to fill with excited guests. The Hosts were on stage preparing for the grand welcome.

"Tomo-Chan you look pretty." Honey commented

"Thank you Honey so do you." I replied curtsying

"My daughter looks so cute!" Tamaki squealed hugging me tightly

"Not to be rude Senpai but your nice white suit is going to get ruined with my made up face." I muttered

"Besides the guests are all here now." Kyoya added

"Places everyone." Tamaki instructed before racing away somewhere

"Where's he going?" I asked

Kyoya pointed upwards to the higher balcony.

"Gotcha."

We went into the places as we rehearsed, as the lights were turned off for dramatic effect.

"It is so good to see you tonight my little lambs. The Ouran Host club would like to bid you..." Tamaki greeted suavely a spot light shining on him, "Welcome."

The lights were turned on a set at a time and the orchestra started playing, again for dramatic effect.

"As always ladies the Host club is here for your entertainment so we invite you to dance to your hearts content. Based on her dancing skills one lucky young lady will receive a passionate kiss on the cheek from our king." Kyoya spoke charmingly

"Good luck to you, my darlings." Tamaki flirted, causing the girls to go wild

"And whoever we deems worthy of second place shall receive a kiss from the Vice president Kyoya" Hikaru and Kauru added

"Hold on that wasn't in the rehearsal" I thought to myself

Kyoya sent an evil glare to the twins.

"When can this just be over?" Haruhi whined, somehow already looking exhausted

"Haruhi that isn't very gentlemanly of you." I tutted

"Yeah show some enthusiasm." the twins agreed symmetrically

"Well excuse me guys sorry. I'm not used to this sort of thing, I'm only used to the festivals held in my neighbourhood park." Haruhi grumbled

"I don't know if you would call that a party or not." Kyoya said

"I would their awesome." I concurred

"Well while you're here you may as well get something to eat. We've got quite a spread." Kyoya continued

"A spread?" both Haruhi and I said perking up like meerkats

"Wiiith fancy tuna?" Haruhi asked hopefully

"FANCY TUNA!" The twins and Tamaki exclaimed

Tamaki gracefully dropped down onto our level like an acrobat.

"Get some fancy tuna in here right now." Tamaki demanded

"Add some deluxe sushi." Kyoya spoke over the phone

Whilst this was occurring, the twins were hugging and cooing a red faced Haruhi.

"Damn rich people." I sighed

"Do you have any food requests Tomuru whilst I'm ordering?" Kyoya asked

"Chicken legs and profiteroles." I replied quickly, to which Kyoya gave a nod and continued to talk over the phone

"Having fish won't affect your allergies will it Tomo-Chan?" Honey asked worriedly

"Nah it's only if I actually eat the fish. Although with some fish oils I get a rash from touching it." I assured

"You're allergic to fish?" Hikaru questioned

"Only raw fish but I stay away from all seafood just in case." I replied

"You're Japanese and you're allergic to sushi." Kauru teased

"I know tragic isn't it? I can never be a stereotype. Damn you cruel fate." I joked dramatically

"It's time to dance with the guests." Tamaki said impatiently, gesturing us to go down to them.

I left the Hosts to dance with the guests as i went on the hunt for food.

"Where is this 'spread'? I see no food." I muttered irritably

"Hey we haven't had a chance to dance with you yet." the twins stated

"No food first!"

"Come on then we'll give you food." Kauru persisted

"...Deal"

So I tried out my new dancing skills, only treading on each twin thrice. In my defense it's hard to dance when you're dancing with two dance partners.

"Ow knock it off would ya?" Hikaru exclaimed

"Look I'm trying my best but you lot keep insisting to look at you rather than my feet." I snapped

"My handsome looks putting you off Tomo?" He said cheekily

"That's one way to put it."

The song ended and my hunger returned.

"Right, food now if you please." I insisted

"Ah, ah, ah, we never said how long we will dance for." Hikaru denied, wagging his finger at me

"You two have guests to dance with." I pointed out the small queue of girls waiting their turn.

The twins shrugged and danced with their guests as I resumed my food search. I spotted Haruhi leaning against a column watching the rest of the Hosts dance.

"I have not seen any food at all since we've been here." I said annoyed, leaning beside her

"Really? Not even some waiters holding trays of nibbles or something?"

"Nope!"

"Haruhi I've been looking all over for you. Do you think maybe I could have the next dance?" Koniko asked, wearing a pale blue dress

"Yeah, of course you can." Haruhi replied charmingly, holding out her hand for Koniko to take.

"Shall we?" Kyoya asked holding out his hand to me

"I thought you of all people would have had enough of my 'dancing skills'" I said bemused

"I'm sure my feet can survive one more dance." he said, taking my hand and heading to the dance floor.

"Where is this 'quite a spread' you said was here?" I demanded whilst we danced

"Right there." he said, pointing to a huge table filled with food, which included a huge pink cake and profiteroles.

"What? Where did...I have searched all around this hall twice and I...WHAT?" I stuttered

"I suppose your eyesight is worse than you thought. Perhaps you need glasses?"

"My eyesight is perfectly fine. You just magicked the food to appear with your shadow king sorcery. Just to make me look mad" I argued

"Believe me I don't need to do anything to make you look mad Tomuru." he stated smirking that evil smirk he does.

"Kasika-Chan is here." Honey informed, dancing with his guest

"Very well then let us commence with the operation." Tamaki said, dancing with one of his guests

"Roger" Honey and Mori said, going to 'fetch' Haruhi

"Come along" Kyoya said half dragging me to the club room.

"B-but food Kyoya Senpai!" I whined

"You make it sound like you never get fed"

"With the Hosts around me I don't." I muttered irritably

As we waited for Haruhi my stomach continued to growl

"I know tummy, we'll get you filled soon."

"Are you comforting your stomach?" Kyoya asked bemused

"Yes"

"There she is." Kauru said as Mori put Haruhi down.

"You didn't have to be so forceful." Haruhi snapped

"Never mind that go get changed." Hikaru said pushing her into a changing room, with the dress she'll be wearing.

"I still don't think that putting a wig and a dress on Haruhi will make her unrecognizable to Suzishima. I think you guys just want to see her dressed up like that." I thought out loud

"I agree." Haruhi said stepping out of the dressing room, wearing her wig and dress.

"A few accidents towards the end of the night would be quite thrilling. And remember Haruhi there are only 20 minutes remaining until the party reaches its climax. Suzishima is waiting for you in the classroom across the hall." Kyoya informed

"We know this is the boss's strategy but it's kind of unsettling." Hikaru opinionated as the twin's put her makeup on

"Gentlemen there you all are what are you doing? The guests are waiting for..." Tamaki scorned stopping mid-sentence once he saw Haruhi

"Tis pink but you look gorgeous dearest." I commented

"You look great Haru Chan!" Kyoya praised, sike it was Honey!

"My face feels heavy and it's hard to walk in these shoes." Haruhi grumbled

"Good luck Haruhi." the twins called as she walked away

"Luckily she's so pretty." Tamaki squeaked

"Now I'm getting food before it disappears again." I declared determinedly

"Wait we haven't danced yet! A father needs to dance with his daughter." Tamaki whined

"You need to go with Princess Kasika remember. You know as part of your plan." I reminded

"One song. It'll only be three minutes." Tamaki said quickly, dragging me towards the dance floor

"Fine, no point arguing with you." I sighed

"Isn't this fun?" Tamaki said giddily

"It would be if you guys wouldn't starve me...oh where's the buffet now?" I stated irritably

"OUCH!"

"Sorry, I step on feet." I apologised

When the song ended Tamaki went to find Koniko and I went to find food...again.

Except all I saw were guests and Hosts dancing. After a while I gave up searching and lent against the column Haruhi was leaning on earlier.

"Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for the last dance of these evening festivities. The last waltz of tonight is awarded to this couple." Tamaki announced, to which everyone went on the balconies to watch Koniko and Suzishima dance in the courtyard.

I stood beside Haruhi who was dressed in her previous outfit.

"So the plan worked I take it?" I asked her

"Surprisingly it did." Haruhi replied, smiling at the happy couple

"May this awkward couple be forever blessed." Tamaki declared

"And now to announce the queen of the ball. Congratulations Miss Koniko Kasikasaki." the twins announced, to which Koniko blushed

"And your reward a kiss on the cheek from the King." Hikaru continued

"You ready?" Tamaki said suavely

"Haruhi Fujioka will stand in for Tamaki." Kauru added, to which Tamaki and Haruhi looked shocked and I burst into uncontrollable laughter

"Kyoya did say a little accident towards the end of the night will make the evening more thrilling for everyone." the twins excused

"There is no way I can kiss her." Haruhi stated bluntly

"If you do it we'll cut your debt by one third." Kyoya offered

"Well it is just a peck on the cheek." Haruhi reasoned, making me laugh even more

I lent on the railing for support as I watched Haruhi go down the steps to kiss Koniko

"You don't think this is Haru-Chan's first kiss do you?" Honey thought aloud

"What?" Tamaki exclaimed, before running to prevent said kiss

"WAIT HARUHI!" He shouted as Haruhi lent in

However Tamaki slipped on a random banana peel, pushing Haruhi into a full on kiss on the lips with Koniko, which made the guests erupt into delighted chatter.

"I'm...dying." I gasped barely breathing from laughing too hard.

"And now to reveal the girl who won second place, the reward being a kiss from Kyoya. Congratulations Miss...Tomuru Sanko." the twins announced, with a cheeky glint in their eyes.

"...Say what?" I said, subduing my laughter

"You heard us Tomo." Hikaru stated

"Me? You've gotta be kidding. I've been stepping on toes all night." I scoffed, standing upright again

Kyoya sighed and pinched his brow before he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, lingering for a few seconds before retracting.

"Now can I please, pleeease get some food." I begged

"Sorry the buffet has been packed away." Kyoya informed, with I'm sure an evil glint in his eyes

"You're kidding?"

"I never kid Tomuru."

I then went into my own dark aura in defeat.

"You okay sugar?"

"I give up. I never got to eat a single profiterole. Evil, evil boys."

* * *

**Me: Hope you guys enjoyed it.**

**Tomuru ran through my room laughing madly.**

**Tomuru: Can't catch me dearest MUHAHAA**

**Me: Huh?**

**Haruhi then ran past holding a massive chocolate mousse cake over her head.**

**Haruhi: Get back here I just want to share my cake with you!**

**Then Honey ran past...**

**Honey: DON'T RUIN THE CAKE!**

**Me: Alright then?**


	7. Episode 3 Part 1

**Me: This Chapters a little late cus my internet was being annoying.**

**Tomuru: Look what I've found!**

**Me: Uh where did you get a wand from?**

**Tomuru: A ginger boy dropped it **

**Tomuru eyes up a bowl of gummy bears.**

**Me: Don't you dare do whatever it is your brain is telling you to do madam!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own OHSHC. If I did there would be a second season!**

* * *

**Tomuru's narrative**

It was Saturday afternoon and Haruhi and I was lounging on my bed watching Hetalia.

"Favourite country?" I quizzed her

"Japan 'cus it's my native country and he seems to be the most normal one out of them." Haruhi answered

"Mine's Italy because he shares my love of pasta and he's an adorable moron. PASTA!" I responded

"Of course."

"You guys are watching Hetalia without me." Rossi whined entering my room

"Yes Muhahahaha." I replied, doing an evil laugh

"Meany Beanie." he muttered

"Come and watch then." Haruhi said shuffling to make room for Rossi

"Sweet!" he exclaimed, jumping in between us

"Rossi favourite country go." I asked quickly

"Britain because of his eyebrow game and he's a prickly pear." he answered

"OK both of you, country you'd date go." I quizzed

"What? Japan again if any."

"Hungary, Britain or Spain." Rossi listed

"For me USA, Britain or Sweden."

"Sweden?" Rossi scoffed

"Yeah he's cool, don't disrespect Sweden." I defended

Throughout the 20th episode a random thought popped into my head.

"I have an amazing idea!" I exclaimed

"Stop doing that!" Haruhi snapped in surprise, thwacking me on the arm

"Rossi how would you like to visit the Host Club?" I asked him, smushing his face

"Yeah OK!" he answered eagerly

"Brilliant! You see the Host Club already knows about the bully issue, they're nosy, and they can definitely cheer you up. I'll ask the guys about it on Monday. I can pick you up from school and take you there." I babbled excitedly

"Are they nice?" Rossi asked, playing with one of his bows on his green Lolita dress

"They're very nice Rossi. Weird, over the top but nice." Haruhi assured smiling

"And they won't mind me dressing like this."

"Rossi they won't mind a bit. I wouldn't have thought of it otherwise." I promised

"They will treat you like one of their guests." Haruhi added

"Wait, what if Kyoya wants us to pay for Rossi like they charge the guests?" I thought suddenly

"Well then it can be added to my debt." Haruhi waved off

"No I couldn't do that to you" Rossi protested

"Rossi it's cool. Besides it's only one day as a trial right sugar?"

"Yeah, a trial basis, I'm telling mum." I said, heading to my mum's study

"Hey Motherlord, I know your busy and stuff but I'm gonna take Rossi to the Host Club to cheer him up, sometime next week." I informed, quickly popping my head around mum's study door

"Great idea Tommi! Thanks for the heads up." Motherlord praised, before returning to her typing

"Okay!" I replied leaving her to her work

"Motherlord says it's a great idea." I informed

"Great can we watch more Hetalia now?" Rossi urged

"Yep" Haruhi and I agreed

**MONDAY**

"Yes new record only 10 minutes late." I praised myself standing outside Music Room 3

"Wait, where is everyone?" I pondered, as the room was deserted

There was only a black and white waitress uniform on a manikin my height. On it was a note which read:

"Doggie! Put this on and meet us in the back gardens. The one with the cherry trees. Hikaru and Kauru X"

"Riiight? Wait how many gardens do they have here?" I thought to myself as I took the clothes of the manikin and headed to the changing rooms. Once changed I went in search of the Host club. Shouldn't be too hard...

**15 minutes later...**

"OH COME ON! Really? This school has a maze. How did I...?" I exclaimed in middle of a rose maze

I called Kyoya for assistance.

"Tomuru? Are you in the school grounds?" he answered

"Your school just HAD to have a maze didn't it?" I exclaimed

"I'll take that as a yes. I assume you're stuck in the maze?"

"I've managed to get stuck right in the middle of it!"

"Idiot"

"Shut up, how do I get out?" I snapped

"Just keep to the right until you see the exit. Someone will meet you there." he instructed

"Thank you...wait keep to the right or left again?"

"Right." he said before hanging up on me

"Rude"

"OK keep to the right, keep to the right, keep to the right." I chanted to myself, walking with one hand on the right hand side of the rose maze

**Kyoya's Narrative**

"Haruhi your friend is lost in the rose maze." I told Haruhi, who face palmed

"I knew I should have waited to meet her. I'll head there now." she sighed

"You have guests to tend to." I reminded

"We'll go meet Tomo-Chan!" Honey offered, Mori nodded

"Best be on your way then." I said

"Thanks a lot you guys." Haruhi said appreciatively before returning to her guests

"Where's Honey and Mori going?" One guest asked

"They've gone to save Tomo. She's stuck in the rose maze." Haruhi explained

"She seems to get lost frequently doesn't she?" the guest laughed

"More than you know." Haruhi sighed shaking her head

**Tomuru's Narrative**

_I'm having doubts about this strategy._

I saw what looked like an entrance. Luckily there stood Mori and Honey in their cosplay.

"At last Salvation!" I said relieved, hugging Honey

"Come on Tomo-Chan, it's this way." Honey urged dragging in the right direction

Then I saw the guests and club members around floor tables.

"Late as usual Doggie?" Tweedledum laughed

"Actually if you guys were in the club room as usual I would only be 10 minutes late! That's a new record for me." I argued

"Well tend to your errands." Kyoya said

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered grabbing a tea tray

"Looking lovely lost girl." Haruhi commented

"Haruhi I actually knew the way to Ouran Academy! Aren't you proud?" I said triumphantly

"Took you long enough." Haruhi replied

I served coffee and tea as usual, chatting to the guests.

"Where's the strangest place you ended up, when getting lost?" a usual of Haruhi's asked

"The cow field was quite random. Though I've gotten lost too many to recount. I've ended up in kid's birthday parties, fields, farms, I'm sure I ended up in a cave once." I listed, making the guests laugh

"Don't forget to tell the guys about..." Haruhi started

"Yeah I won't forget. I'll finish my errands first." I interrupted

"Forget what?" the twins asked curiously, snaking their arms around my shoulders

"I'm gonna ask if my little brother can visit the Host Club sometime this week." I supplied

"You mean the one who cross dresses?" Hikaru said

"Yes"

"Yeah that shouldn't be a problem. We could give him a makeover." Kauru said

"I thought it wouldn't be." I nodded

Once all the guests were content I went in search for either Tamaki or Kyoya.

"Excuse me ladies do you know where Kyoya or Tamaki is?" I ask a group of guests talking amongst themselves

"We don't know sorry." A black haired girl answered

"Do you girls mind when the Hosts go off and do their thing? I mean they leave you to entertain yourselves sometimes." I queried, noticing they do that often

"We're used to it." A light brown haired girl shrugged

"OK then."

I found Tamaki Senpai by the cherry trees talking to Haruhi.

"Oh wow Senpai you're blooming in more ways than one." Haruhi commented, as Tamaki was sparkling, no literally sparkling. Bloody anime.

"You noticed! Yes my beauty is quite splendorous I'm in full bloom. I bet you'll fall for me soon." Tamaki said pompously

"You wish." I muttered

As the twins spoke to Haruhi about what classes to take I took the chance to talk to Tamaki

"We are in the same class after all." the twins taunted, turning to Tamaki

This of course made Tamaki go in his dark aura.

_Dammit!_

"Say Mommy dear?" Tamaki murmured to Kyoya

"What is it now Daddy?" Kyoya responded, playing along with Tamaki's family delusion

"Didn't know Kyoya had a sense of humour" I muttered to myself in pleasant surprise

"I have a new theory. I mean it's just my hypothesis. But it seems that by being in the same class as her, the twins spend more time with her than I do here at the club. This gives them a chance to get close to her and if that happens..."

"Tamaki you just now realised that?" Kyoya interrupted

"Ooh brutal." I winced as Tamaki got hit by a random bolt of lightning.

"Who's flying that kite?" I wondered to myself, spotting a white kite in the distance

"According to my research in a single day the twins roughly spend nine hours of class time with Haruhi. Meanwhile your contact with her is limited to a couple of hours of club activities. In other words your involvement in Haruhi's life each day amounts to no more than a mere three percent..." Kyoya stated with some random charts, which he must have apparated them with his shadow magic.

"AHH I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!" Tamaki screeched

"Listen Haruhi I want you to stop hanging around with those shady twins from now on." Tamaki demanded, grabbing her shoulders

"Who are you calling shady?"

"Yeah take a good look at yourself boss" the twins called in the background

"Alright then we can't keep hiding the fact that you're a girl from the school any longer. All daddy wants is for you to be the girl you used to be. For you to start surrounding yourself with girlfriends and start leading a wholesome life!" Tamaki sobbed

"Hey aren't I enough?" I interjected

"Well she needs to befriend more girls that are more in touch with their feminine side."

"Ooh Harkacha" I replied holding up an imaginary handbag

"That's Tomuru's way of reacting to people who say something mean to her." Haruhi explained, fluent in Tomo speak

"SO CHANGE RIGHT NOW, CHANGE RIGHT NOW!" Tamaki sobbed, shaking Haruhi to and fro dramatically

"You don't have to rush things she will be found out soon enough." Hikaru started

"Physical exams are a day after tomorrow." Kauru finished, both of them symmetrically making the 'whatever' sign

"Physical...exams?" Haruhi questioned

"That's right I forgot all about it" Kyoya said

_Really? You forgot something? I highly doubt that._

"Then that means there's no doubt. They're gonna know she's really a girl." I spoke aloud

"Why are they so shocked?" Haruhi whispered, as the Hosts (Except the cool and stoic type) looked horrified

"Maybe they don't want people founding out so you won't leave them." I whispered back

"Guys can Rossi come and visit the Host club sometime this week?" I piped up; however they paid no attention to me.

"Rude" I muttered

"I see no problem with that." I heard Kyoya say behind me

"Great! Do you want payment for him to come as a guest?" I asked

"First Host club session is free of charge."

"Well this is just going to be a trial run for now. It won't be a regular thing unless Rossi wants to visit more."

"Naturally"

"Rossi-Chan is going to visit?" Honey said excitedly

"Yeah but I haven't planned a day yet."

"Just bring him tomorrow." Haruhi shrugged

"Alright." I agreed

"Better get all this stuff packed away now sugar." Haruhi stated

"Yep"

* * *

**Me: Thanks for reading lovelies!**

**Tomuru: (whispers) Engorgio**

**The bowl of gummy bears grow huge. **

**Tomuru: YES SUCCESS! **

**Me: Dammit Tomuru I told you not to! Ah well what's done is done.**

**Tomuru and I grab a huge gummy bear (the size of actual teddy bears)each and start eating.**


	8. Episode 3 Part 2

**Tomuru: You're late madam! Where have you been I've been worried sick?**

**Me: Uuuh college why are you dressed like a mum?**

**Tomuru: College! Pah this is way more important than college. Get your priorities straight.**

**Me: I have my priorities straight, college comes first sorry.**

**Tomuru: I have never been so insulted! You have the golden opportunity to write about me and you make it your second priority. **

**Me: I'm ignoring you Tomo. Enjoy this chapter lovelies! **

* * *

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"Ready to go?" I asked Rossi meeting him outside of the Middle School

"We're not going straight there are we?"

"Yes we have no time to change Rossi."

"Aww man I wanted to wear one of my Lolita dresses." Rossi moaned

"Don't fuss I'm sure the twins have some dresses up their sleeves." I waved off

"You definitely know how to get there right?" Rossi asked

"Yes have more faith! I know the route." I said, as we walked towards town

"But not off by heart."

"No but then again I don't know the way home off by heart so..." I admitted

I took Rossi the shortest route I could find, which meant I have to pass by Bernard's duck fountain.

"Shut up Bernard!" I snapped, as he led a loud chorus of angry quacks

"They really don't like you do they?"

"Nope and I don't like them."

**At Ouran Academy's entrance...**

"Welcome to Ouran Academy." I announced

"Tis bubble-gum" Rossi commented

"Shut up its pink! Let's get inside."

"So. Many. Stairs." Rossi panted as we climbed the third staircase

"Tell me about it, look it's just down this hall." I said

"Music room 3?"

"Yeah abandoned music room." I informed before opening the door

As usual rose petals floated towards us, one petal always somehow lands in my mouth making me choke.

However there were no guests at the club today, the Hosts were crowded around a whiteboard, except Haruhi.

"Guys this is Rossi, Rossi this is the Host Club. Tamaki is blond one with violet eyes, Kyoya is the black haired glasses one, Hikaru and Kauru are the ginger twins, Honey is the strawberry blond one and Mori is the tall stoic one." I introduced pointing to each Host

The Hosts stopped whatever they were doing and greeted Rossi.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Rossi. You're sister has told us a thing or two about you." Tamaki greeted

"Has she now?" Rossi said turning to me

"I haven't been bad mouthing ya if that's what you're thinking, just some details." I defended

"Please take a seat and our errand girl will serve you shortly." Kyoya said in his Host manner

"Wait we wanna give Rossi a makeover first." the twins interjected

"Sure! Do you have any Lolita dresses?" Rossi agreed eagerly

"Yeah what colour do you want?" the twins conversed as they took Rossi to the changing rooms

"Have fun!" I called before turning my attention to the Hosts

"Alright you lot where are the guests today?"

"They're not coming today. Sometimes we have days just to plan club activities." Kyoya informed

"Let me guess today you guys are planning on how to stop people finding out Haruhi's a girl at the physical exam tomorrow." I sussed

"Exactly." Haruhi confirmed

"You will not be here whilst the plan unfolds won't you Tomuru?" Tamaki said

"Alas you are right. I won't be able to see how you're gonna pull this off." I sighed dramatically

"Eh I'll probably tell ya all about it Tomo." Haruhi said

"You better"

I set up a tea set and some Angel cake for Rossi.

"All done" the twins called hiding Rossi behind their backs

"Show me then." I urged

The twins stepped aside to reveal Rossi. he was wearing the most puffiest pink Lolita dress I've ever seen. He also wore some pink ballet flats and a pink bow in his short black hair to match.

"Well what do ya think?" he asked twirling

"Tis pink. Very pink and fwoofy." I commented

"It's not pink it's fusia!"

"Shut up its pink. Come and have some cake."

I sat with him whilst he ate some cake.

"Right you. Do you want the whole Host club experience? Or just sit and hang out? I asked

"Dunno what's the Host club experience?"

"You pick a Host to entertain you. There's the princely type, the boy Lolita, the stoic type, the little devil type, the cool type or Haruhi." I listed

"Why don't I get a type?" Haruhi demanded

"Cus I don't know what type you come under."

"Boy Lolita type please." Rossi decided

"Very well, Honey Senpai you're up." I said letting Honey sit where I sat

"Hello Rossi-Chan! I'm Honey and this is Usa-Chan." Honey said cheerfully, holding up his bunny

"Nice to meet you both." Rossi replied

I left them to chat and stood beside Haruhi

"I've got it. You guys are worried that if they find out I'm a girl I can't be a Host and therefor can't repair my debt." Haruhi said, before she started calculating how much money she still had to repay to the Host Club.

"Well I guess I'll have to find another way to pay you guys back." Haruhi continued, before she started laughing

"Why are you laughing you said nothing funny?" I asked, very confused

"Do something the subject doesn't appear to have any motivation." the twins demanded to Tamaki

"Why did we get stuck with such a difficult heroin?" Tamaki moaned

"Heroin?"

"Are you saying you hate being a Host, that you hate this club?" Tamaki demanded

"To be honest I have to say yes." Haruhi answered, which of course made Tamaki go in his dark aura

"I mean you guys aren't bad but if the school finds out I'm a girl there's nothing I can do ya know?"

"Shouldn't the Dean and the teachers that teach you know that you're a girl anyway? The registers must have the information on them or something?" I thought aloud

"Yeah I guess. You're point being?" Haruhi asked

"So it's just the students think you're a boy."

"Yes"

"So what the teachers just play along? They don't call you Miss or she."

"...alright I see what you're getting at that is a bit weird." Haruhi agreed

"Haruhi doesn't seem to care one way or the other." Hikaru realised

"Well before we do anything else we need to find a way to motivate her." Kauru stated

"Fancy tuna." Mori suggested

"Oh that's right you never got to eat any after last episodes party did you?" Tamaki said somewhat creepily

"Episode?"

"Did you hear that Haruhi has never tried fancy tuna before isn't that awful." Hikaru stage whispered

"Wow talk about a difficult childhood." Kauru replied

"If only Haru-Chan could stay in the Host club then she can eat all kinds of yummy things whenever she wants." Honey played along

"Manipulative boys." I muttered, catching onto what they were doing

"What are you talking about don't be silly. Just because I'm poor and I never had it doesn't mean I'm so much of a glutton I would go on fooling everyone just to try some fancy tuna." Haruhi said, trying to act convincing but they knew they had her interested

"Am I really gonna get to try it?" she murmured

"You're so easy to bribe dearest."

"Yeah so are you, chicken."

"Where?" I said looking around eagerly

"See it's too easy."

"Curse my love of chicken! How's it going over there Rossi?" I asked

"Honey doesn't know what Hetalia is" Rossi exclaimed

"Really? Does he at least watch Disney films?"

"I watch studio Ghibli." Honey said

"I love studio Ghibli!" I said enthusiastically

"We need to show Hetalia though Tommi." Rossi insisted

"Sure thing, so I take it you're enjoying yourself then?"

"Yeah I love this place it's like a fictional romantic comedy."

"Does that mean you like to make these visits regular?" Kyoya guessed

"Yep I wanna be a full time guest to Honey Siempai." Rossi declared

"Haruhi we're going to be working at the Host Club for ages." I informed

"What's happened now? Did you break a ridiculously expensive vase too?"

"No Rossi's gonna be a full time guest at the Host club."

"Great, well as long as Rossi is happy." Haruhi sighed

"Love you Haruhi!" Rossi called

Once the Host club ended Rossi wanted to thank the Hosts.

"Thanks a lot for having me as a guest today. And with being so cool with the way I dress. Tomo probably told you I get harassed a lot for it so this is a nice change. I can't wait to visit you guy's again." he said sweetly, back in his school uniform

"SO CUTE!" everyone, except Mori, Kyoya and Haruhi because they are somewhat sane, squealed and glomped Rossi

"And I thought Tomo alone was bad enough." I heard Rossi mutter

* * *

**Me: Tomuru stop having a paddy **

**Tomuru: No! (throws giant marshmallow pillows at me)**

**Me: Fine do as you please**


	9. Episode 3 Part 3

**Me: Hello lovelies! There will be a change in the frequency I'm updating due to college work. I'll try and do every two days if I can, if not then it will be every Thursday or Friday.**

**Tomuru: College isn't better than Fanfiction!**

**Me: Well I get to play with animals like snakes and iguanas sooo...**

**Tomuru: Snakes? What like this one? **

**Tomuru takes out a venomous King cobra.**

**Me: Where did you get that snake? **

**Tomuru: Found this cutey in my wardrobe.**

**Me: OK well be careful it is very venomous snake. May be best to keep away from it.**

**Tomuru: Pfft I'm not going to eat it silly**

**Me: Tomuru Venomous is where it bites you and you get severely hurt or die. You're thinking of poisonous snakes. **

**Tomuru: But I named it Desmond**

**Me: Just please put it away. I do not own OHSHC by the way. **

* * *

**Haruhi's Narration**

"Hey Haruhi how'd it go? Is your secret identity safe for another day?" Tomuru asked me eagerly the next day at my home. The reason I waited to tell her at home instead of the Host club is so no guests can overhear.

"Yes my identity is safe." I assured

"So tell me the tall tale. I've been waiting all day."

"Very well."

_Haruhi's flashback _

"We will begin conducting physical examinations shortly. All students please proceed to the clinic in your respective school building." I heard through the speakers

"So what's the deal with this formation A thing you guys were talking about? What do you do during physical exams here at Ouran anyway?" I asked the twins as we walked to the clinic

"It's no different from any physical exam you'd get at any other school." Hikaru answered

"Yeah why would a physical exam be different for us just cus we're rich?" Kauru added

"You're right I didn't think about it that way."

"Welcome Students." Two rows of doctors and nurses chorused at us when I opened the door. Kinda like how the Hosts greet guests.

"W-what is all this?" I stammered in surprise

"Just another physical exam." Hikaru replied casually

"The usual." Kauru shrugged

"The usual?"

**"****You're kidding?" Tomo scoffed (Me: Bold text is when Tomuru and Haruhi speak out of the story)**

**"****Nope all the doctors were weirdly nice and friendly too." I said**

"Hitachiin brothers please follow me to get your height measured." A nurse spoke to the twins

"Sure thing." Hikaru and Kauru said following the nurse

"Mr Fujioka I'm your nurse for your physical exams this afternoon." Another nurse told me

**"****Hold the phone! The doctors and nurses think you're a boy too?" Tomo interrupted **

**"****Yep." I confirmed**

**"****The Dean didn't inform them of your situation?"**

**"****Nuh uh" **

**"****That Ouran Academy is weird with or without the Host Club." Tomo commented**

**"****Anyhow…"**

"Okay." I replied

"Please come this way." The nurse dragged me to where I was going to have my physical exam

"Honey Senpai? Mori Senpai?" I recognised Honey and Mori, though they were wearing doctor cosplay.

**"****With lab coats and everything?" Tomo asked**

**"****Yep they even wore glasses."**

"Shh." Mori and Honey shushed me.

"They're so obvious."

"I've got those two for back up just in case something happens." Kyoya said

"But why are they in doctor disguises?" I asked

"They're just helping set the mood. Disguises make the operation feel like a real espionage mission."

I looked over to see one of the doctors do a physical exam.

"Wow Miss Shiramina you've lost two whole kilograms since this time last year." The doctor informed

"That's so good to hear I thought for sure I was heavier." The student said happily

"Not at all keep it up and you'll be even healthier next year." The doctor said kindly

"Don't you think it's weird that these doctors are all so jovial and nice?" I questioned

"They're chosen by the chairman. This maybe a school but it's also a business; therefor he wants to keep the students happy. After all most of these students come from prominent families that have their own private doctors at home. So this is just a formality." Kyoya explained

"These damn rich people." I thought exasperatedly

"Hitachiin brothers would you please come with me we're ready to do your chest measurements. You can use the area behind this curtain to undress." I heard the twin's nurse tell them

"Doesn't matter to me." Hikaru said nonchalantly

"We're not shy who needs a curtain." Kauru shrugged

A group of female students squealed excitedly when Hikaru and Kauru took their shirts off.

"See Haruhi a rather impressive turnout today. Physical exam day is quite popular with the ladies." Kyoya commented

"What's wrong with the girls at this school?" I sighed

"I won't allow it, it's just not fair. I won't let those doctors touch you Kauru." Hikaru pined, doing the brotherly love act

"What are talking about? You don't seem to having a problem touching me when we play doctor at home. I can't stop you from tickling me and toying with my body." Kauru replied softly

**"****Sometimes that act gives me the creeps." Tomo shuddered**

**"****What do you mean sometimes? It creeps me out all the time."**

"Come on Haru-Chan this way." Honey urged, pushing me into a curtained area.

"I've been waiting for you my princess." Tamaki said quietly, his arms wrapped around me

"Tamaki Senpai." I said in surprise, getting out of his grasp and kneeling on the floor

"You're so cute when you're surprised." Tamaki cooed, to which I pouted

**"****Aww you two are so cutesy!" **

**"****Shut up!" I snapped**

"Mr Fujioka it's time to take your chest measurements. Once you've finished disrobing would you please come with me." My nurse told me through the curtain

"This is it the inevitable moment has arrived. You just stay back here and wait okay Haruhi." Tamaki instructed

"But what are you going to do?"

"Don't you worry I'll protect you. I promise I'll protect you Haruhi."

**"****He makes it sound like he's battling a dragon to rescue a fair maiden." Tomo commented**

**"****I know he can get too dramatic sometimes."**

"Mr Fujioka are you ready to be measured now?" the nurse asked

"Yes I'm Haruhi Fujioka." Tamaki answered, drawing back the curtain to reveal himself, wearing a brown wig.

"Wait that's Tamaki?"

"There's no denying it that's definitely Tamaki."

"Is he cosplaying as Haruhi?"

"What's going on is he trying to be funny?" some of the girls commented

"I can't believe he actually did it?" Hikaru laughed, from what I heard

"They recognise him I told you they'd see through it." I heard Kauru laugh

**"****Th-that was their plan! Hahaha" Tomo laughed**

"YOU JERKS YOU SAID THERE WAS NO WAY THE GIRLS WOULD BE ABLE TO TELL IT WAS ME!" Tamaki yelled

"That's payback for calling us the Homosexual supporting cast." Hikaru laughed

"I'm sorry they figured it out." Tamaki told me sheepishly

"AAH" Tamaki shrieked when I glared at him

"Just as I thought Tamaki Senpai lives in his own carefree little world." I thought to myself

"Haruhi ready? I went ahead and set up a separate room for you a special boys clinic. And I have a doctor standing by sworn to secrecy." Kyoya informed

"Turns out the doctors here today are all on staff at one of Kyoya Senpai's hospitals." Hikaru said

"Would've been nice if he said something to us earlier." Kauru commented

"I had to get my revenge too. I'm sorry I just don't think I'm supporting cast, homosexual or otherwise."

I went to the special boys clinic and knocked on the door. A female voice told me to come in.

"Come in. Mr Fujioka I have been made aware of your situation now if you don't mind please disrobe for me over there." The nurse at the desk instructed

"Sure."

As I took of my shirt a man wearing a lab coat came in sneakily

"Uh excuse me?" I said unsurely

"No it's not what you think please just be quiet." The man said hastily, placing his hand on my mouth

**"****Was he a pervert?"**

**"****That's what they thought at first but turns out he wasn't."**

"Haruhi, TAMACHAN KICK!" Tamaki exclaimed kicking the man away from me

"One good looks that attract the public eye." The twins started

"Two more wealth than you can imagine." Kyoya continued

"Three chivalry that cannot overlook…" Mori said

"…the hideous wickedness of this world." Honey then spoke

"That's what makes the Ouran Host Club." Tamaki finished the speech

"WE'RE HERE WATCH OUT!" All the Hosts spoke determinedly

"**UUUUHHHH so blaaahhh" Tomo moaned**

**"****Don't like their little speech?"**

**"****No it's soooo cheesy." She groaned**

"Please don't hurt me spare me my life." The man begged.

"I'm a doctor, I live in the next town over my name is Yabu." The man started to explain himself

"Did he say his name's Yabu?" Hikaru asked

"That's crazy what a terrible name for a doctor." Kauru criticised

"Unless you're a quack." The twins said at the same time

"I know I'm looking for my daughter. My wife left me last month and took my daughter with her. But I know she attends school here."

"I don't mean to pry or anything but why did your wife and daughter leave you?" I asked curiously

"Well you see my wife was sick of living in debt and my daughter wanted to go with her. I know I'm terrible at managing our money. I can't blame them for being sick of constantly living in debt. But I wanted to see my daughter one last time. After wandering the streets in the pelting rain I finally made it to your school. When I arrived I was mistaken for a doctor here to examine students." Yabu continued

"Well of course you're wearing a lab coat." Hikaru commented

"Anyone would mistake you." Kauru stated

"And then it happened. When I asked one of the students if she saw my daughter the girl started screaming then before I knew it I had all kinds of people chasing me." The man sobbed

"That's so tragic!" Tamaki wept

"Doctor Yabu I think you may have the wrong place. Are you looking for Ouran Public High school?" Kyoya asked

"Yeah that's right." Yabu confirmed

"I figure that might be the case. This is Ouran Academy, a private institution; your daughter doesn't go to school here." Kyoya stated

"Man that's really sad you don't even know what school your daughter goes to." Hikaru remarked

"I bet your relationship is messed up because you don't pay attention to her not because of some stupid debt." Kauru commented

"Wow Kyo-Chan I'm impressed that you figured out that he was at the wrong school." Honey commented

"Well a daughter to a small time doctor could never get into Ouran Academy." Kyoya responded, to which I glared at him.

"Kyoya can you find me the maps to the nearest schools in the area. I'd like to help this man find his daughter." Tamaki requested

"Whatever you say." Kyoya replied doing as Tamaki instructed

**"****Aww that was nice of Tamaki to help Yabu out." Tomuru praised**

**"****We found a map for Ouran Public High school and gave it to Yabu, to which he thanked us and went to find his daughter."**

"Are you sure about this? Even if he does find his daughter there's no guarantee that she'll want to speak with him?" the twins asked

"Well then that's something he'll have to figure out himself." Tamaki said

"I'm sorry about this you guys but could you please leave?" I told them

"Haruhi you not still angry at me are you?" Tamaki said panicky

"Don't be stupid Senpai I just have to complete my physical exam. As a male student of course…but let me explain I'm not doing this because you're bribing me with food. I'm doing it to repay my debt." I explained

"YOU'RE SO CUTE!" Tamaki glomped me

"I can see right through you I know you're just after that fancy tuna." Tamaki laughed

"Not it off Senpai. Uh hey don't touch me there!" I snapped

"Red card! Looks like Tamaki Senpai"

"Is the real pervert." The twins said

"Who cares will you guys just get out of here!" I shouted

**"****The end." I finished**

**"****Where did he touch you exactly?" Tomuru asked**

**"****I'm not telling you that!" **

**"****Was it your boob area?"**

**"…****."**

**"****Knew it! Freakin' perv."**

* * *

**Tomuru: Like my new scarf?**

**Haruhi: That's it take that snake from her before she kills us all.**

**Me: Got it.**

**Tomuru: Nooo don't take Desmond from me!**

**I carefully took the Cobra away from Tomuru and placed it in a spare pillow case, before calling a trained professional to take the snake away.**

**Me: There no one's gonna die today.**

**Tomuru: You guys never let me have anything.**


	10. Episode 4 Part 1

**Me: Hey Rossi you're not usually introducing the chapters.**

**Rossi: Yeah I'm standing in for Tommi cus she has a cold.**

**Me: So that's where I got it from! (sneezes)**

**Rossi: Don't give it me! (covers face)**

**Me: Want to do the disclaimer in your favourite Hetalia character?**

**Rossi: Sweet! (does impression of Britain) Alright everyone this tosspot ****does not own this Japanese cartoon she's fond of. Enjoy!**

**Me: That was pretty good. As usual enjoy Lovelies :)**

* * *

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"Well I guess we're wearing Kimonos today I take it." I commented, looking around the Host club

"Yep yours is hanging up on one of the changing rooms." Haruhi stated

"I want to wear one too." Rossi piped up

"No worries you have one too, yours is the light blue one with white flowers on it beside Tomo's." Haruhi assured

"Sweet" Rossi cheered dashing to the changing area.

I followed after him and got my kimono that was hanging up. It was a purple kimono with green and red flowers. I also had a purple ribbon which the twins wanted me to put in my hair.

"Can you put this in my hair?" Rossi asked, once I was done changing.

"Sure thing." I replied tying the ribbon in a large bow in Rossi's hair

"See gorgeous as always, let's head back." I commented

When we returned Rossi went to the table Honey was sat at and I went to do my usual routine. Honey Senpai's usual guests adored my brother and loved how cute he looked in dresses. At first the guests were confused about Rossi but as he and I explained they soon were fussing over him.

"Hello Tomo, you look so nice in that kimono." A regular guest to Tamaki commented

"Thank you, would you like something sweet?" I responded politely

"Strawberry cake please, your brother looks so cute with that bow in his hair." she said

"I know I'd love to dress him up one day." Another guest agreed

"I'm sure Rossi would love to be fussed by you ladies, so long as your dressing him in dresses." I replied cheerfully, loving how the girls don't judge him on his appearance

"Haruhi you look so great in your kimono." I heard one of Haruhi's guests say

"Almost like a girl." Another chipped in

_Almost like a girl? Well I suppose that bow in her hair make her look a bit feminine._

"Haruhi you booked another appointment. It seems like you've got a steady flow of guests recently keep up the good work. I'm not going to charge you interest like I normally would so keep this up and you should be able to pay it off. Though that rental fee on that kimono is nothing to sneeze at." Kyoya stated

"He's like some heartless tax collector, bloody shadow lord." I whispered to Haruhi

"Exactly what I thought." Haruhi agreed

"Haru-Chan, Tomo-Chan." I heard Honey whimper behind us

"What's wrong Honey Senpai?" I asked concerned

"I don't know how but I lost one of my sandals." Honey cried, looking more childish than he usually does

"Aww it's alright I'm sure it hasn't gone far." I comforted

"Mitskuni." Mori interjected taking Honey's foot and placing his lost sandal on it.

"Takashi." Honey murmured

"I noticed that you dropped it." Mori said

"TAKASHI" Honey sobbed, hugging his taller friend

"How sweet." One of the guests commented

"Isn't it though." Another sighed

"It seemed a little dramatic; I mean it was just a sandal after all." I muttered, seeing a happier Honey chat to Rossi

"Tears seem quite popular with the ladies today, most of the guys have been putting on the waterworks." I remarked

"How are they able to cry so easily?" Haruhi wondered

At that moment Haruhi accidently knocked into Tweedledum, which made something dropped out of his sleeve. I picked up the little green bottle which read 'eye drops' upon further inspection.

"Explain yourselves Tweeds" I demanded holding the bottle in front of them

"For your information it's common for a Host to use eye drops." Kauru informed to the left of us

"No woman alive can resist a man on the brink of tears." Hikaru added

"This woman can." I interjected, raising my hand

"You're not a women your doggie." The twins stated

"Well I never." I gasped in fake shock, holding up an imaginary handbag

"Eye drops are cheating." Haruhi said

"Oh don't be such a party pooper." Hikaru poked Haruhi's cheek

"Here Haruhi this is for you." Kauru said handing Haruhi a pink sweet

"It's for me?" Haruhi questioned

"Aren't you the cutest." The twins cooed in unison

"I didn't know you liked sweets Haruhi." One of the girls commented

"Well to be honest ladies she's more into cake and cookies than sweets." I piped up

"Yeah but ya know it might be a nice memorial offering for my mother." Haruhi said wistfully, making the ladies blush and go into their 'Moe mode'

"How admiral of you. Such devotion to your mother's memory. Please Haruhi take as many as you like." Tamaki interjected dramatically, making a pyramid of sweets on Haruhi's open hands

"Let me guess the tears are fake?" Haruhi remarked, unfazed my Tamaki's usual eccentricity

"How could you? My tears are always genuine Haruhi, to be able to cry without the use of 'eye drops' is a mark of a true Host." Tamaki stated offended before adding suavely "Tell me do I impress you? Have you fallen for me yet?"

"Yes" I stage whispered

"No you wish." Haruhi answered hitting me on the arm

"Looks like the Host club has a brand new guest." The twins remarked

"Huh?" I looked over to where the Hosts were looking to see a shy girl with a large pink bow peeking by the doorframe.

"Come on in watching from afar is no fun. Please miss." The twins spoke to her like they do their guests, holding roses

"Stop that how many times have I told you two to be more courteous to our first time guests." Tamaki scorned, holding a rose himself

_Bloody philanderers _

"Please you don't have to be afraid my princess. I welcome you to the Host Club." Tamaki spoke to her suavely, like he usually spoke to girls.

When she hesitantly opened her mouth to speak Tamaki try to be encouraging.

"Yes?" he said softly

"DON'T TOUCH ME YOU'RE PHONY!" The girl screeched slapping Tamaki in the face

_Holy macaroni I didn't see that coming!_

"What do you mean I'm phony?" I heard Tamaki's muffled whimpers through his hand, which was holding his injured face

"Just as I said you're phony. I find it hard to believe someone like you is the prince character of this Host Club. You can't go spreading your love around that you stupid. You must be a dim-witted narcissist, you're incompetent, you're a commoner, you're disgusting." She ranted venomously, to which Tamaki was hit by lightning after every insult

"Whoa he's created a new technique." Hikaru started

"One man slow motion." Kauru finished as Tamaki did a dramatic slow motion fall

_Did she just call Tamaki a 'commoner' and did Tamaki take it as an insult? _

"I don't suppose you are…" Kyoya intervened

"It's you Kyoya! Oh how I've longed to meet you, my one and only prince charming." Renge squealed delightedly running to Kyoya and hugging him

"Em did I step into a soap opera here?" I asked, mainly to myself

"Please every time we're here it feels like a drama." Haruhi responded

* * *

**Me: Seems like Tomuru has risen from the dead because she wanted to do her favourite country impression.**

**Haruhi wheels in Tomuru's bed with a pale, half dead Tomo inside covered in snot. **

**Tomuru (in croaky voice): Pastaaaa '**_cough' 'cough' 'cough'_

**Me: Very nice now get that infected zombie outta here before my cold gets worse.**

**Haruhi: Will do '**_sneezes'_ **oh no**


	11. Episode 4 Part 2

**Me: Hello Lovelies thanks for all these reviews that have popped up recently.**

**Tomuru: Back from the dead!**

**Me: I'm guessing you don't have a cold now**

**Tomuru: Yep ready to wreak havoc once more**

**Me: What havoc are you wreaking today?**

**Tomuru: You shall see... Muhahaha**

**Me: Well look forward to that lovelies...I think**

* * *

"You're fiancé?"

"Kyoya Senpai?"

"Of course my name is Renge Houshakuji and I'm transferring into Ouran Academy's first year class A tomorrow." The girl introduced

I finished cleaning after the guest's leftovers and sat with the Hosts, curious about this new girl. Tamaki was in his dark aura in the corner, which was probably due to still feeling insulted by Renge's opinion about him.

"Why's he sulking?" Hikaru asked

"Cus Mommy was keeping a secret from Daddy." I answered cheekily

"Whatever why does everyone insist on referring to us as husband and wife?" Kyoya sighed

"Cus it's funny." I quipped

"Oh it was a story of love at first sight. I couldn't resist the way you adoring those flowers when you thought no one else was looking. Or when you reached to that poor, little injured kitten." Renge interjected

"Is she serious?" the twins scoffed

"Do you think you may have the wrong person?" Haruhi inquired reasonably

"No way I can recognise my love anywhere!" Renge snapped before continuing to babble "He's a gentle soul that is kind to everyone but asks for nothing in return. He likes solitude but sometimes he gets lonely. He looks like the popular dating sim from Ooki Doki Memorial. You're my real life Ichijo Miabi."

When she was talking the twins ran around yelling for her to stop, whilst Haruhi, Mori and Honey had blank, confused stares. I was laughing at that description of Kyoya.

"Ooki?" Haruhi asked

"Doki?" Honey questioned

"OTAKU?" Tamaki and Hikaru exclaimed

"I've never seen one?" Kauru exclaimed

"I get it now. You're in love with that character; you projected that love onto me and somehow deluded yourself that we're engaged. I assume this Miabi character probably wears glasses as well." Kyoya stated calmly

"So she made it up you're not really her fiancé right?" Tamaki asked

"Well no I don't remember ever asking for her hand in marriage. Besides this is the first time I've ever met the women." Kyoya answered

"You could've said something sooner." I muttered

"According to my research you're in charge with managing the club isn't that true Kyoya?" Renge said excitedly

"That's right Kyo-Chan's our director." Honey confirmed

"You're the club's director that's perfect. Oh wow I've always wanted to wear a sandwich board to advertise a business." Renge stated excitedly

"We don't advertise we're just a Host Club." The twins corrected

"I've made up my mind from now on I'm going to be the manager of this Host Club." Renge continued ignoring the twin's comments

"Um listen Kyoya." Tamaki started worriedly

"Miss Houshakuji is the only daughter of a very important family client. So please be polite and try not to offend her alright." Kyoya stated

"Well boys I can't wait to work with you." Renge spoke happily

**The next day at the Host Club…**

There weren't any guests today (except for Rossi of course) so we mainly planned on Host Club activities and our opinions on having a new manager.

"I've thought about it a lot last night and maybe having a lady manager might not be such a bad idea." Tamaki began sharing his opinion

"Why do you say that?" the twins asked

"Well it's fairly obvious isn't it Renge has just transferred into the same class as Haruhi. So if Haruhi had a girl friend around it can bring out the female within her. Renge's girly air of tenderness can bring out Haruhi's own femininity."

"_Good grief" _Both Haruhi and I thought internally

"Now is our chance to help Haruhi get in touch with her feminine side this is an important project men. She doesn't have anyone in class right now except for those two shady twins that's no good for her." Tamaki continued

"Like you have room to talk." The Tweeds scoffed

"Hey everyone you'll be happy to know that your new manager Renge has baked all of you some cookies." Renge greeted as she entered the clubroom

"Cookies?" I perked up alert

"Isn't she ladylike? I am so moved by your generosity." Tamaki commented in his usual dramatic tone

"I didn't bake these cookies for you phony prince." Renge shot down, which of course led to Tamaki going into his dark aura

"I'm sorry I've burnt them a little bit I did the best I could. And I know exactly what you're going to say." Renge spoke nicely to Kyoya offering him the cookies

"How are hearts coming out of her hair?" I mused to myself

"Aw you're always so sweet to me Kyoya." She squealed delightedly

"He didn't say anything she just daydreamed a bit." Rossi whispered to me in confusion

"Something tells me she's kooky enough to fit in with this club." I predicted

"She wasn't kidding these cookies really are burned." I hear Honey say whilst eating one

"Don't eat that Mitskuni it's bad for you." Mori advised

This made Renge angry and soon she was chasing poor Honey and Mori around the clubroom with her hair now resembling snakes for some reason.

Haruhi and I tried a cookie each whilst Renge was busy scaring Honey.

"There not that bad at all they've gotta good flavour to them." Haruhi commented

"Cookie." I mumbled contently, snatching the bag away from Haruhi

"May I try?" Hikaru asked Haruhi softly, before taking a seductive bite out of the cookie Haruhi was currently eating

"Uh oh Haruhi you've got crumbs on your face." Kauru remarked bending down to lick Haruhi's face where the crumbs were

Both of them promptly putting me off from eating anymore cookies as I now felt like vomiting.

"DID YOU SEE WHAT THEY JUST DID HE JUST TOOK A BITE OUT OF HER COOKIE AND BLA BLAA INCOHERENT YELLING….!" Tamaki yelled, I couldn't catch all of what he said

"And suddenly the trio of classmates are closer than they ever been before." Kyoya spoke over Tamaki

"Rossi tell me your pure innocent eyes didn't just witness that?" I asked

"Unfortunately they did and now I'm scarred for life. I may never eat cookies again." Rossi muttered

"OW hey what was that for?" the twins moaned after I thwacked them both upside the head

"You scarred my little brother and now he can't eat cookies and for acting like perverts with my best friend." I answered

"Ya know you could've just told me and I would have wiped it off. And if you wanted some sugar has plenty with her." Haruhi remarked

"THAT'S NOT THE WAY YOU'RE MEANT TO ACT HARUHI. YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG AND REJECT THEM BEFORE CASUALLY BRUSHING THEM OFF TO THE SIDE DO YOU UNDERSTAND…" Tamaki exclaimed, holding Haruhi's face

"This is sexual harassment Senpai." Haruhi stated

"SEXUAL HARASSMENT? IF THAT COUNTS AS SEXUAL HARASSMENT THEN THEY'RE TWICE AS GUILTY SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!" Tamaki continued to shout, I was starting to get a headache

"Cut it out boss we're sorry." The twins interjected

"EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! ALL OF YOUR CHARACTERS ARE LUKEWARM! Each of you needs to have some sort of dark side do you understand? Girls are vulnerable to young men who are trouble; if you keep carrying on like this it's only a matter of time before the girls get tired of you and stop coming altogether. Are you trying to run my precious Kyoya's business? As your manager it is my duty to change your character backgrounds let's start with you!" Renge ranted pointing to Honey

"If only you are as cute as inside as you are out then you're no different than a baby. So from now on you are the Baby faced Thug." Renge announced, making Honey cry

"And Mori Senpai you are his childhood friend the Flunky. The twins will be basketball players enslaved in their own world. Haruhi you are an Honour student who's constantly being bullied. And as for you Tamaki you're the school ideal who's admired for his good looks but actually has an inferiority complex he's hiding from the world, the Lonely Prince." Renge changed each Hosts character background

"And Kyoya you perfect just the way you are now. So I want you to be as kind and as affectionate as ever kay?" Renge added sweetly

"Thank you I'm honoured." Kyoya responded

"The Lonely Prince, it's true that title is perfect for me." Tamaki stated, in a random dramatic spotlight

"Yeah right she couldn't have been farther from the truth." Haruhi scoffed

"You're not really getting bullied right dearest?" I asked

"Of course not sugar, I would've told ya otherwise." Haruhi answered

"Good just checking."

"Hold on how come you don't need a character change?" Haruhi protested

"Cus I'm not a Host and I am awesome just the way I am." I replied smugly

"Come on Kyoya Senpai."

"You've gotta do something." Hikaru and Kauru urged

"Why it seems like the boss is up for it." Kyoya pointed in the direction Tamaki was posing

"How does this look Renge? Do you think these poses work for a Lonely Prince?" Tamaki asked posing theatrically

"Oh wow you're pretty good at that Tamaki. But you know what would be even more effective if you were standing in the rain." Renge suggested

"Let's just see how this turns out I bet it will be interesting, it always is." Kyoya stated

"Don't think you're going to miss out Tomuru. I have the perfect character for you." Renge told me

"What? But I'm not a Host, I don't need changing I'm delightful." I protested

"You shall be Haruhi's friend who defends him when he's bullied…"

"Oh that doesn't sound so bad."

"But you're secretly madly in love with him!" Renge finished

_Spoke to soon._

"…Wait what?" Haruhi and I exclaimed

* * *

**Me: Well I guess Tomo disappeared to wreak havoc as promised.**

**Haruhi: _(pants)_ run. away. now.**

**Me: Why? What happened? What's your ridiculous friend done?**

**Haruhi: Tomo did this? Yeah she's gonna get murdered.**

**Me: Why? **

**Haruhi: Let's just say Kyoya Senpai's angry. Crap he's coming! I am not getting involved.**

**Me: Kyoya what's she done?**

**Kyoya: Someone has stolen my black book and if the culprit hasn't returned it things are going to be very unpleasant.**

**Me: Tomuru's probably took it, she said she was going to wreak havoc.**

**Kyoya: Well when I find her she's going to regret her actions.**

**Me: Well see you lovelies next time. Ya know if Kyoya doesn't kill off the Protagonist.**


	12. Episode 4 Part 3

**Me: This chapter was fun do write personally. Thanks as always lovelies**

**Tomuru comes and lies on my bed with a massive purple bump on her head.**

**Me: So I guess Kyoya got his revenge and his black notebook back.**

**Tomuru: Kyoya didn't hit me Haruhi did.**

**Me: There are a number of reason why Haruhi would hit you. Please specify which reason it is.**

**Tomuru: Cus Kyoya rose the amount of debt that we have to pay back.**

**Me: Should have known**

* * *

**Author's Narration**

**I'm gonna be narrating this chapter today lovelies as Tomuru will be busy being an actress.**

Hikaru smiled widely to the crowds of high-pitched cheering girls, show boating as he scored a point for his team.

"Get a stretcher take him to the infirmary immediately!" Hikaru heard his basketball coach demand

When Hikaru saw that the player coach was referring to was his own twin brother he ran to his aid. _(Cue dramatic music)_

"Kauru… Kauru, Kauru!" Hikaru spoke urgently concerned for his brother's physical state

"You've got to get back in the game Hikaru." Coach insisted

"Shut up!" Hikaru snapped at him

"Hikaru…listen to me please don't worry. There's nothing you can do you can't share my pain. You're not the one that got hurt. Now go on." Kauru spoke weakly up to Hikaru, cupping on hand on Hikaru's cheek

"I can't! it hurts, it hurts Kauru!" Hikaru cried, holding Kauru's outstretched hand

"Your pain is my pain. It doesn't matter to me if no one else understands. As long as we've got each other we can go on living." Renge narrated as the scene was cut to Tamaki standing in the rain

"I'm sorry but I'm envious, the way you two support each other like that." Tamaki told the twins solemnly

"But Suoh Senpai…" Hikaru started

"How can you be envious of us you're the school's idol?" Kauru finished in surprise

"An idol, right?" Tamaki scoffed flipping his fringe from his face before continuing with the tone of angst "I hate that people all worship me for something so superficial as my appearance I think it'll be much better for me to be alone."

"One lonely heart meets another. They pass each other, wounding one another. What are the hearts of these poor men made of?" Renge narrated

The scene transitioned to Haruhi running through some trees, before leaning on one to catch her breath.

"You can't run away forever." Honey told her in a harsh, to which Haruhi slid done to the floor in defeat.

"I'm going to show you what happens to anyone that crosses me." Honey continued threatening

"Don't do it Mitskuni. You should have realised by now that when you hurt others you're really hurting yourself." Mori advised

"I didn't ask you for your advice. Do you want me to put you over my knee again?" Honey spoke to Mori irritably

"Will it be the light of salvation that ultimately awaits these boys or will it be something else?" Renge narrated

"Ya know it really pisses me off when people don't know they're place." Honey remarked in an intimidating tone

Just then Honey cracked under pressure and got out of character, returning to his adorable boy Lolita self.

"I'M SO SORRY HARU-CHAN I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" Honey cried, chucking himself at Haruhi, to which she hugged Honey.

"CUT! CUT, CUT, CUT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU'VE GOT TO STICK TO THE SCRIPT!" Renge screeched, her snake hair making an appearance again

"But I can't." Honey whimpered

"Stop rolling cameraman." Renge demanded

"Yes Boss." The cameraman obliged

"Aw man my part was coming up." Tomuru moaned, seated in one of the 'actors' chairs.

"I didn't think Honey had an intimidating bone in him?" Rossi stated in slight surprise

Both siblings were eating popcorn whilst Tomuru waited for her turn to act.

"Me neither. I think I prefer Honey as his cute, cake eating self." Tomo stated

"Definitely." Rossi agreed

"Let's just continue with the next scene. Tomuru you're up!" Renge called to Tomuru

"Yes my turn in the spotlight. This is going to be so fun! Come along dearest!" Tomuru rambled excitedly

"Break a leg sis" Rossi called out to her

"Ok everyone in position? Ready and ACTION!" Renge cued

"Ya know it really pisses me off when people don't know they're place." Honey repeated his line in the same bully manner

From the rain Tomuru ran and placed herself between Haruhi and Honey.

"You will not touch my dearest." She told Honey dramatically

"Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it girly?" Honey sneered

"Love can conquer any foe. I would rather die than let my dearest Haruhi get hurt." Tomuru continued, however finding it difficult to suppress a smile at the ridiculous lines she had rehearsed

"Are you in love with Haruhi?" Honey scoffed

Before answering Tomuru looked down at Haruhi, who herself was also suppressing a smirk, before answering Honey.

"Yes alright it's true! I'm in love with Haruhi Fujioka!" Tomuru expressed, overly dramatic before adding

"Though I dunno why I mean look at him. Even when he's at a posh rich school he's still a little nerd. Ya know what I think I'm over this crush thing. I'm off to find me a more suitable mate. Maybe one who can dance because this little dude certainly can't." Tomuru spoke lightly before walking back the way she came

"CUT! WHAT WAS THAT? THAT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT!" Renge yelled

"Improv?" Tomuru answered smiling

Rossi, Haruhi, the twins and Honey were all in fits of laughter; even Mori and Kyoya were smirking.

"Enough! We are retaking this scene until you get it right! Get into position Tomuru!" Renge demanded, not pleased at all

"Take 2"

"Ya know it really pisses me off when people don't know they're place." Honey recited the line once again

"Right listen here you little ragamuffin. You leave my babu alone before I give ya a punch up the bracket capache?" Tomuru told Honey in a squeaky, high pitched voice, stroking Haruhi's hair

"CUT! AGAIN TAKE 3!"

"Look over there cake!" Tomuru gasped before grabbing Haruhi's hand and running away, laughing manically

"TAKE 4"

This time Tomuru didn't get to say any lines (improvised or scripted) as she slipped on the muddy grass, made muddy by the artificial rain, which made her backside muddy and her laughter contagious.

"TAKE 5!"

"You….will….not…..hurt….man I'm unfit….my….dearest." Tomuru panted, acting like she was out of breath (truth be told she was a little from laughing to much)

"RIGHT THAT'S IT CUT! WILL STOP THERE UNTIL TOMURU GETS HER ACT TOGETHER AND TAKES THIS THING SERIOUSLY!" Renge shouted, extremely annoyed that Tomuru was wasting time.

"Sugar getting her act together? That'll be the day when pigs fly." Haruhi scoffed

"Come on I never take anything the Host Club does seriously." Tomuru remarked

"Nice performance out there Doggie." Hikaru started

"You do know this is more of an angst movie than a comedy right?" Kauru finished

"With your acting how could I possibly tell the difference?" She back chatted

"Nice comeback." Haruhi commented high fiveing me

"Thanks"

"How did it go from changing our characters to shooting a movie about them?" Hikaru wondered

"Why is there an entire film crew here to shoot it?" Haruhi asked

"Apparently she flew them in from Hollywood. Don't you recognize the director? He directed the vampire movie Millennial Snow. It was the number one box office hit in America last year." Kyoya informed

"Damn these rich people." Haruhi and Tomuru simultaneously thought

"And another thing how come this stupid script portrays Kauru as the pitcher?" Hikaru demanded

"Yeah" Kauru agreed

"What does that mean?" Haruhi asked

"If you don't know never mind." The twins stated

"Pitcher?"

"I think it's a name of one of the players in basketball. Ya know like there's a goalkeeper for football?" Tomuru guessed

"Haruhi, so how was I? Did you like my performance?" Tamaki asked, seeking Haruhi's opinion

"It was pretty awesome. I'm surprised you can get into your character like that you were really believable." Haruhi answered, handing Tamaki a towel

"I discovered a new darker side to myself. I'm starting to think it might be a good idea to explore it." Tamaki stated

"Are you sure about that? Cus I think you're fine just the way you are now Senpai." Haruhi told him

"You do? Well if you say so Haruhi." Tamaki said bashfully, his cheeks going red

"Hey Haruhi you're on." Renge called

"Coming." Haruhi replied heading to where she was needed

"Am I needed in this scene Miss Manager?" Tomuru asked cheekily, knowing full well it will annoy Renge

"No!" Renge snapped at her

"You two are so cute ya know?" Tomuru told Tamaki

"Huh?"

"You and Haruhi, I'm shipping you guys." Tomuru explained herself, making Tamaki go even redder

"What's shipping?" the twins asked Tomuru, appearing on either end

"_If you don't know never mind._" Tomuru mimicked the twins from their earlier comment, which irritated them.

Suddenly a crash sounded from where Haruhi was meant to be.

"What was that? Is dearest being clumsy again?" Tomuru thought as followed Tamaki to where the crash was heard.

"What happened Haruhi…?" Tamaki began to ask before he froze at what looked like Haruhi crying

When Tomuru caught up with him, she immediately rushed to Haruhi, whilst Tamaki had one of the two boys pinned to the wall.

"Hey you OK dearest?" Tomuru asked, helping Haruhi up, to which Haruhi nodded

"So which one of you jerks started this?" Tamaki snarled

"Wait Suoh it's not what you think. That girl started it she was giving us a hard time." The unpinned boy explained

"He's telling the truth Senpai. It wasn't their fault they were provoked." Haruhi sighed

Tamaki unpinned the other male student and went up to Haruhi, the boys made a getaway while they could.

"Haruhi are you in any pain?" Tamaki asked in concern, holding her face gently

"Yeah it's my contact." Haruhi said holding it on her finger

"Your contact?" Tamaki muttered

"Yeah I guess it must've slipped out." Haruhi commented lightly

"We thought it was something serious you moron." Tomuru remarked, punching Haruhi's arm lightly

"I see how it is. You are able to cry without the use of eye drops. So you're a full-fledged Host now." Tamaki laughed

"You, you, please tell me you got that cameraman." Renge spoke up

"Yes boss."

"Other than Haruhi's contact falling out that was an ideal final scene. All it needs now is a moving narration by my sweet Kyoya." Renge stated passionately

At that moment Kyoya hit a rock against the camera, which caused the lens to break.

"Well that was unexpected." Tomuru muttered

"What did you do to my camera?" the cameraman exclaimed

"What? Is something wrong?" Renge asked innocently

"I'm terribly sorry but I cannot allow there to be any record of a club member engaging in violence. I think you've caused enough trouble around here Renge please stop being such a pest." Kyoya stated firmly

"Oooh brutal." Tomuru winced quietly

"A pest…But you was supposed to pat me on the head and tell me not to worry. You were supposed to be kind and affectionate Kyoya. Why are you acting so differently now tell me why?" Renge sobbed

"Because that's not the real Kyoya." Tamaki answered

"…What the hell kinda answer is that?" Tomuru whispered to herself

Renge fell to her knees and cried, Tomuru nodded to Haruhi to use her consoling magic to comfort Renge.

"Does it really matter? Who cares if Kyoya is a little different to how you expected him to be? Take a good look at the person inside and get to know him little by little. It's a lot more fun that way." Haruhi comforted, crouching down to her level

"Dearest always knows exactly what to say to cheer people up." Tomuru muttered smiling

**The Next Day at the Host Club…**

"Hello ladies come on in." Tamaki greeted

"I bought the video of that film you made." One guest said

"I did too." Another added

"And so did I."

"You did?" Tamaki stated in surprise

"The scene in the rain was just phenomenal." One guest gushed

"I loved the Lonely Prince."

"And the loving relationship between Hikaru and Kauru was so sweet."

This lead to all of the guests gushing and gossiping about the film.

"Kyoya?" Tamaki inquired

"I may have broken the camera's lens but the footage we'd already shot wasn't damaged. Although naturally I cut out that one violent scene. Sales have been pretty good so far. That Hollywood film crew did a fantastic job although that was to be expected." Kyoya explained

"So is this what you meant by interesting?" the twins accused

"It's best to have as much money as we can in the club's budget." Kyoya stated

"Since when did he start calculating all of this?" Haruhi pondered

"I didn't know you had such strong feelings towards Haruhi Tomuru?" One of Haruhi's guests teased

"Don't get any ideas ladies I'm just a good actress." Tomuru warned

"I'm not sure anyone is that good of an actress. The secrets out now." Another said, which then led to gossip about Tomuru fancying Haruhi

"No ladies just platonic best… oh I give up let them think what they like." Tomuru spoke in defeat

"I'm sure they'll get over it." Haruhi reassured

"Yeah right…Did you cut out my silly acts Kyoya?" I asked

"I took them out of the main film but they are in the outtakes." He answered

"Good day everyone." Renge greeted

"Renge? But I thought you went back to France already?" Tamaki remarked in confusion

"I can't believe I realised this sooner it was chivalrous to risk your life to protect me. I could feel the love when you lectured me about judging people. When you said it was fun to get to know people little by little you were talking about me." Renge spoke to Haruhi sweetly, holding Haruhi's hand

"Uh…yeah." Haruhi muttered hesitantly

"Come on Haruhi let's go play together. I think it's time you got to know me better." Renge said dragging Haruhi away

"Wait what?" Haruhi exclaimed

"Hey Kyoya Senpai you okay with that?" the twins asked

"Why wouldn't I be everything Renge just said is true?" Kyoya stated

"NO IT ISN'T!" Tamaki shouted

"I thought you said you wanted her to have a female friend in the first place Daddy?" Tomuru interjected, finding this situation amusing

"WELL YEAH A FEMALE COMPANION NOT A GIRLFRIEND!" Tamaki exclaimed

"Come on Haruhi let's go play together."

"WAIT DON'T TAKE HARUHI FROM ME!" Tamaki exclaimed

"Looks like you have some competition Tomuru. I guess Renge fancies Haruhi as well as you." One of Haruhi's regular guests piped up

This made Renge freeze in her tracks as she heard the girl's comment.

"What did you just say?" Renge demanded

"Tomuru's head over heels for Haruhi." Another guest informed

"Is this true?" Renge seethed at Tomuru

"Wait a minute they only think that cus you…" Tomuru began defending

"TOMURU SANKA FROM NOW ON YOU'RE MY ENEMY!" Renge screeched before stomping off

"What? Oh come on I don't need another one I already have Bernard." Tomuru whined

"Look what I've got." Rossi sang

"Great you have a copy of that film too?"

"Uh huh" Rossi confirmed waving the DVD at his big sister

"Things are gonna get harder for you huh sugar?"

"It appears so dearest, it appears so."

* * *

**Me: So have you learned your lesson**

**Tomuru: Yes I won't steal anything from Kyoya Senpai again.**

**Me: She can be taught!**

**Tomuru: The other Hosts on the other hand...**

**Me: And she's plotting once again (_sigh)_**


	13. Episode 5 Part 1

**Me: Sooo sorry for posting so late lovelies! Promise to update the next chapter sooner.**

**Tomuru: Yeah you better I'm not that patient!**

**Me: That does not surprise me in the slightest.**

**DISCLAIMER: as always I do not own anything of OHSHC**

* * *

**Tomuru's Narrative**

"Let's all play the which one is Hikaru Game!" the twins chorused to their guests, wearing identical green flat caps.

"Don't you think that name is kinda wordy?" I stated replacing an empty teapot with a refilled pot

"What you think you can think of a better name?" Hikaru scoffed

"Challenge accepted!" I declared

"Sooo can you tell which one is Hikaru and which one is Kauru?" the twins asked their guests

"It's hard to say, you're identical." One guest spoke up

"Many ladies have tried to tell us apart but so far none have succeeded."

"That's the dumbest game I ever heard of." Haruhi muttered as she walked passed

"What about Twinki Donk?" I interjected

"Oh yeah second dumbest game then." Haruhi corrected

"What you have a problem with it Haruhi?" the twins protested

"Not really I just don't see why you two are so popular." Haruhi responded

"Aww don't be so mean." I scorned lightly

"I'm disappointed." Tweedledum commented

"Apparently you don't understand the merits of having a pair of twins at the Host Club." Tweedledee remarked

"Listen up having a pair of good looking guys with homosexual tendencies earns the club high points. It also helps when the two struggle with their attraction and their friendship." Hikaru began explaining

"In our case since we're twins our relationship is taboo and therefor more intriguing." Kauru added

"Twincest!" I coughed

_Do they really need to do those ridiculously promiscuous poses whilst they explain their worth?_

"And besides who hasn't fantasied about twins having two loves is better than one don't you think?" Hikaru flirted standing beside one of his seated guests

"It's a young women's romantic fantasy." Kauru flirted to the guest on the other side

"Um yeah you're right… I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!" the guest answered, as she and two other guests go into squealy, heart eyes mode (which I'm gonna call 'Moe Mode' from now on).

The twins were looking smugly towards Haruhi.

"Certainly not my fantasy." I muttered

"By the way what's Twinki Donk?" Kauru inquired

"Well…"

"Don't ask." Haruhi interrupted

"Rude dearest." I accused, before going over to Honey's table

"You seem to be very chatty about something Rossi." I noted

"Yeah I…"

"HIKARU, KAURU! WHEN I GAVE YOU CONTROL OF THE CLUB'S WEBSITE I DID SO ON ONE CONDITION THAT YOU TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!" Tamaki shouted, interrupting Rossi

"We take our job very seriously Boss." Hikaru stated, unruffled by Tamaki's outburst

"In fact last night we worked on it till dawn." Kauru informed

"IS THIS WHAT YOU WORKED SO HARD TO CREATE?" Tamaki shouted revealing a laptop from thin air

"Ok I've gotta see this." I commented, heading to see what the Tweeds have done this time

I froze when I saw that there was a picture of Haruhi half-naked with her back to the screen.

"You look great Haru-Chan." Honey commented

"You've got some s'plaining to do you perverted Tweeds." I seethed staring daggers at the twins, whilst some of the guests gathered round the laptop eagerly

Haruhi herself was grey with shock at the time, smoke coming from her mouth.

"Tell me when!" Tamaki demanded

"Huh?"

"WHEN DID YOU TAKE NAKED PICTURES OF HARUHI?" Tamaki shouted

"THEY DID WHAT?" Rossi exclaimed, rushing over to where I stood

"You bribed her didn't you?" Tamaki whimpered

"You're imagining things it's obvious the photo's been altered." Kauru stated

"It was photoshoped?" Tamaki muttered

"Oooh well that's alright then." Rossi shrugged

"We've got some major Photoshoping talent." Hikaru stated

"Still doesn't excuse you from creating creepy pictures of my best friend." I seethed

"Don't worry Doggie we didn't leave you out." Hikaru responded ruffling my hair

"Beg ya pardon?"

Then they retrieved the laptop and showed me the Photoshoped picture they created of me. It was basically my head on a St Bernard body.

"If you made a gross picture of my… HAHAHAHAHAHA" Rossi burst into laughter at the sight of my new look, I shortly joined him

"Alright your forgiven. Can I get a copy of that?" I laughed

"Sure." The twins agreed

"YOU IDIOTS THAT IS A WASTE OF YOUR SKILLS HAVE YOU NO SHAME?" Tamaki exclaimed before sheepishly adding "But if you're going to do it anyway can you Photoshop Haruhi into this Idol Photobook?"

"Don't be ridiculous Boss." Hikaru sighed

"Why don't you just ask her to wear one of those fancy dressy things instead of being a creep?" I suggested

"I never thought to ask her." Tamaki muttered, before walking up to Haruhi

"What do you think of this my dear?" Tamaki inquired to Haruhi in his Princely style, holding up a dress that he somehow plucked from mid-air. Kyoya must have taught Tamaki some of his shadow magic ways.

"Not now you idiot the guests are definitely going to realize by now!" I derided quietly face palming

"What are you doing with that dress?" Honey asked

_My thoughts exactly_

"He looks so handsome." One of Haruhi's guests sighed, her and three other guests retrieved the laptop and continued gawking at Haruhi's picture

"Yeah but I'd have to agree with Tamaki I'd love to see what Haruhi looked like if he dressed as a girl." Another piped in

"Oh he's so cute I'm sure he'll look great no matter what you put him in." the third guest flattered

Haruhi snapped out of her frozen state and glared at Tamaki, which made him cry and back away from her.

_Are the girls at this school really THAT oblivious? I mean I would definitely know something's hidden from me. Uh! _

"Now cut it out! No more making weird pictures of me you got that? Just what do you guys take me for anyway?" Haruhi stated firmly

"Isn't that obvious? You're our toy." The twins answered mischievously

"Dearest look." I handed her the picture the twin's printed out for me

"Hahahaha you're looking furtastic sugar." Haruhi laughed

"Was that a pun?" I demanded

"Yep!"

"As we were saying in order to entertain one's self in this otherwise boring life…"

"One must find himself stimulating toys."

"I am not your toy okay!" Haruhi snapped at the twins

"You want a toy?" a mysterious voice spoke out, which came from a random dark door

"Toys…toys, if you like toys then you should come and visit my black magic club. We've opened a market place that boasts black magic items from across the globe. We're also holding mass around the clock. If you come and visit now I'll even throw in a free curse doll, you could have Belsanaff as your free gift." The voice persuaded, which came from a cloaked figure peeking out the door with a cream cat puppet on his hand

"The cat puppet kinda offsets the creepy vibe the dude's trying to pull off." I commented

"This is Belsanaff the cursed puppet and is not to be taken lightly." The cloaked dude insisted

"Riiight."

"Why is he talking to us through a crack in the door?" Haruhi wondered

"Hang on has that door always been there?" the twins asked

"Nekosowa Senpai likes to hide he doesn't really care for brightly lit places." Kyoya explained

"Don't get involved with that guy Haruhi, Tomuru. If you do you will end up being cursed." Tamaki warned whispering behind us

"Do you have any basis for that?" Haruhi asked nervously

"Yes it happened during the final exams at the end of the last school year. It's terrifying just to talk about it." Tamaki shuddered before continuing to tell his story "On that faithful day I accidentally stepped on that weirdo Nekosawa's cursed doll Belsanaff. Afterward I took my exam but the entire test was written in some strange lettering. I looked to the others around me for help and realised I knew none of them. I WAS ALL ALONE IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION!"

"Scary!" Honey whimpered

"Did that really happen to you?" Haruhi asked uneasily

"That only happened because you were so scared you accidentally walked into the beginning Greek class and took their exam." Kyoya informed

"NO IT WAS A CURSE! I KNOW BECAUSE THREE DAYS LATER I WOKE UP AND MY LEGS WERE AS HEAVY AS LEAD JUST HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT?" Tamaki argued

"Your legs were heavy because you ran a marathon the day before remember?" Kyoya explained that rather well

"You shouldn't underestimate the dark power of Belsanaff the curse doll. All you have to do is write the name of someone you hate on his back. Then that person is certain to come face to face with…misfortune." Nekosowa interjected

"Really? Does it work on ducks?" I asked eagerly

"Why would you want to use it on a duck?" Nekosowa inquired in confusion

"Cus I have a certain duck and his gang might need a bit of misfortune for once." I answered

Before Nekosowa could answer my request the twins shone a torch in his face.

"YOU MURDERERS!" Nekosowa shrieked zig zagging towards his black door

"Aww man!" I sighed

"How on earth could you do such a thing obviously you two don't know the terror in black magic." Tamaki exclaimed

"Uh I am so bored." Hikaru sighed; both twins were now sitting looking out of the window.

"Isn't there anything fun we can do?" Kauru sighed

"My dignity as the club's leader is being ignored." Tamaki whined dramatically, going into his dark aura facing the wall

"Hey Haruhi, Doggie we've got a favour to ask you?" the twins called over to us

"Yeah Tweeds?" I answered

"What is it?" Haruhi asked

"The next time we get a day off…" Hikaru began

"Can we come over to either your place or Tomo's?" Kauru requested

"Why would you want to do that?" Haruhi asked skeptically

"We're curious we want to see where you live." The twins answered

"No way." Haruhi stated firmly

"Aww pretty please." The twins pleaded

"No way. You guys are just gonna make fun of me."

"No matter how much we beg you."

"No way."

"I to think it's time we pay our respects to our beloved Haruhi's family." Tamaki interjected dramatically

"No way in hell Senpai." Haruhi responded bluntly, making Tamaki return to his dark aura.

"You haven't answered yet Doggie." Kauru said

"I feel like my dearest wants me to say no?" I answered unsurely, seeing Haruhi shake her head at me

"Yeah I don't want them fondling one another anywhere near my home." Rossi interjected

"Good point I don't want to sterilise everywhere you perform your 'brotherly love act'." I agreed

"We can settle this with a game. If you can't pick out which one of us is Hikaru the penalty will be the two of us coming to your house later tonight. Then tomorrow we'll go to Doggie's place." The twins suggested, putting on their green flat caps again.

"Ok so which one of us is Hikaru?" the twins asked after they changed sides

"Tweedledum on my right, Tweedledee on my left." I pointed to each twin

"I agree this one's Kauru, this one's Hikaru." Haruhi agreed

"Uh oh you both got it wrong!" the twins sang cheerfully

"No I know I'm right. You two may look alike but you're very different." Haruhi differed, which shocked the twins.

"How did you do that Haruhi? When they wear those hats to cover up which way they part their hair it's practically impossible to tell which one is Hikaru and which one is Kauru." A guest with short hair asked

"How can you tell them apart?" Another guest with a purple ribbon inquired

"Hmm well how can I put it? It's kinda difficult to explain. But Hikaru's speech and actions make him come across a little more mischievous than Kauru." Haruhi explained

"I'm sorry Hikaru I don't mean to laugh." Kauru broke into laughter

"Well I don't see what's so funny? I'm honest, I speak my mind and I don't hold back. It's sneaky people like Kauru who are the troublemakers." Hikaru accused

"Don't turn this on me Hikaru. After all I'm always going along with all of your selfish games." Kauru stated solemnly

"I may suggest them but you're the one who really gets into them Kauru. If you hate them so much they why don't you just stop?" Hikaru argued

"Because I'd hate to see you look like an ass in front of everyone. It was your idea to call Haruhi our toy. But I noticed you were quick to make a pass at her. Admit it Hikaru you're actually in love with Haruhi aren't you?" Kauru argued back

"Wait first Tamaki and now Hikaru? You certainly are a rich boy magnet dearest." I commented lightly

"WHAT?" Tamaki exclaimed in a panic

"You've got it all wrong Kauru. Man you're such a freaking idiot!" Hikaru differed

"Yeah there are some things in this world that must never be said!" Tamaki whinged

"Why would I fall for her she looks like a Tanuki?" Hikaru continued

"You do look a little like a raccoon dog dearest." I realised

"Thanks sugar." Haruhi remarked sarcastically

"Hey raccoon dogs are utterly adorable I dunno why you're taking offense." I stated matter of factly

"How dare you call her a raccoon dog? YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!" Tamaki exclaimed to the twins

"Wait what's that sound?" I wondered hearing electricity and something large rising up to the clubroom

The sound came from a twirling, rigged platform, to which Renge stood on making a dramatic appearance.

"Oh no." I whispered in despair

"Our beloved Haruhi is in the middle of a beautiful yet poignant four sided romantic relationship. And to make things even more exciting two of Haruhi's admirers are twins torn apart by love. Just the thought of it could make me eat three bowls of rice!" Renge recited as the platform rose

_I've heard of a love triangle but this is ridiculous. If you include Renge that makes it a love pentagon, which is certainly new to me._

"Oh butt out Otaku." The twins retorted

"You guys are meanies you shouldn't say something like that to your manager!" Renge whined

"But Renge I thought you had feelings for Haruhi as well?" Tamaki pointed out

"Oh I do but I have no problem with Haruhi having a homosexual relationship on the side." Renge answered

"What? Oh so when Haruhi has a relationship with a guy as well as you it's all hunky dory but when there's a 'female rival' you get all possessive. I don't even have romantic feelings for Haruhi!" I exclaimed to Renge

"Silence Peasant!" Renge snapped

"So unfair." I muttered darkly

"I'm confused I thought you were going back home to France Renge?" Haruhi interjected

"Well I was going to start up a Host Club of my own but I don't think France is ready for a Host Club just yet." Renge responded

"Greeeat so prissy pink bow's here to stay." I murmured quietly to myself

"Tomuru be nice." Kyoya stated, apparently hearing what I said under my breath

"Why should I? Apparently she's my new nemesis."

"At least be the better person and act civil. Otherwise a certain debt may rise." Kyoya warned

"Fine, manipulative, smug shadow lord."

"CUT IT OUT ALREADY! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS CRAWLING INTO MY BED TALK ABOUT ANNOYING!" Hikaru shouted

"I ONLY DO THAT CUS YOU LOOK LONELY! I WOULDN'T CHOOSE TO SLEEP IN YOUR BED YOU IDIOT!" Kauru retorted

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN IDIOT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SUCKS AT MATHS!"

"OH YEAH WELL YOUR FAILING YOUR FOUR LANGUAGE CLASS YOU BIG DUMMY!"

"UH THE WAY YOU GRIND YOUR TEETH IS DEAFENING!"

"AT LEAST I DON'T TOSS AND TURN SO MUCH THAT I FALL OUT OF BED!"

"SEX PIXIE!"

"SICKO!"

"YOUR MAMMA WEARS TOO MUCH MAKE UP! THAT'S IT WE'RE OVER!" The twins shouted simultaneously thus ending the shouting match

"Whoa those two needed to vent huh?" I whispered to Haruhi

"I guess they did." Haruhi whispered back

The twins promptly stormed out afterwards.

"There's always something dramatic in this club." I concluded breaking the awkward silence the twins left in their absence.

_Walking Home from the Host Club…_

"How did you tell the twins apart Tomo?" Rossi asked

"Simple, they have different voices." I answered

"What?" Haruhi asked

"Oh come on don't tell me you can't hear the difference dearest?" I scoffed

"No they sound exactly the same to me."

"You're kidding right? They have completely different voices! Like you and I have different voices." I argued

"Alright how do they sound different to one another to you?" Haruhi asked patiently

"I dunno they just do! I think Kauru's might be a touch deeper than Hikaru's voice but it is definitely distinguishable."

"Guess you have better ears than you thought sugar." Rossi shrugged

"Maybe I am a dog?" I pondered

* * *

**Me: Hey Rossi never got to say what he was chatting so excitedly about with Honey did he? Well you lovelies will have to find out in the next chapter. Tomuru what's Twinki Donk?**

**Tomuru: This awesome, superb, great, amazing, positive synonym game I invented that involves throwing marshmallows at Bernard!**

**Me: Throwing food at your arch nemesis no wonder he hates you.**

**Tomuru: No I don't throw marshmallows at the real Bernard dummy. Just a picture of him I don't wanna be pecked to death.**

**Me: ...Well I suppose it's less cruelty to animals I guess. Seeya later lovelies!**


	14. Episode 5 Part 2

**Me: Hello lovelies, here is the next chapter. Thanks to all the support guys it makes me very happy!**

**Tomuru: Bored!**

**Me: You'll think of something mad to do.**

**Tomuru: Oh great idea! I'll go paint Boris now.**

**Me: What? Wait no Tomuru**

**Tomuru: BORIS! HERE BOY!**

**Me: That poor, poor dog.**

* * *

**At my house…**

"Hey T get the door please!" Yuki called from her room

"Why is it going somewhere?" I responded, lying on my bed with my laptop on my stomach

"Stop being snarky and get the darn door." Yuki shouted

"Fiiine." I droned making a lot of effort to get out of bed and go down two flights of stairs to go to the door.

"Hello!" there the Tweeds stood as I opened the door

I paused for a moment before I responded with "What happened to 'that's it we're over'?"

"That was just an act wasn't it?" I sussed

"Exactly, we were bored." Hikaru confirmed

"So what are you guys doing here? How do you know where I live?"

"We want your advice on how to make the 'quarreling brothers strategy' believable." Kauru answered

"Plus we wanted to see where you live." Hikaru added

"One condition no brotherly love act go it?"

"Got it." They agreed

"Come in then." I made room for them to come past

"So who's at the…oh hey." Yuki commented as she came down the stairs

"Yuki this is Hikaru and Kauru. Guys this is my big sister Yuki." I introduced them to one another

"Nice to meet you guys." Yuki greeted

"You too." The twins responded

"You two look familiar for some reason. I mean I know I've never met you but… wait there!" Yuki rushed back upstairs

"Yuki what the fraggle?" I called up to her

"Aha I knew it! Get up here." Yuki called down to us

The twins and I looked at one another in confusion before I gestured them to follow to where Yuki was, which was in Marco's room.

"Yuki I'm trying to get this design perfect leave me alone!" I heard Marco snap

"Why are you pestering Marco?" I asked going into his room

"Tomo tell Yuki to…" Marco froze in mid-sentence

I looked where he was staring to see the twins behind me.

"Oh yeah Marco this is…"

"Hikaru and Kauru Hitachiin." Marco interrupted, with an expression which looked like he's seen his hero.

"Yeah how'd you know?" I asked

Then Marco pinned me to his wall.

"Hey what was that for?" I exclaimed

"Why didn't you tell me you knew the Hitachiin twins? Their mother is a famous fashion designer and my idol!" Marco demanded

"Well they didn't tell me their mother works in fashion." I blamed, pointing to them

"Marco has a huge picture of them on his wall how did you not put two and two together." Yuki interjected pointing to a large poster of the twins modelling for a fashion magazine.

"Oh, I hardly go in your room so how would I know?" I reasoned

"Can I just say it is a huge honour to meet you guys I am a big fan." Marco gushed, letting go of me and shaking their hand

"Always nice to find people who are fans of our mothers work." Hikaru responded politely

"So are you planning on becoming a fashion designer?" Kauru asked

"Hopefully I'm on a design and fashion course at University." Marco answered

"Cool."

"Sorry Marco but the twins need my assistance with something. After that you can show off some of your designs." I suggested

"Sounds good to us." The twins agreed

"Ok." Marco said

"Follow me then Tweeds." I left Marco's room and headed to my own

"Where's Rossi?" Kauru asked

"Probably hiding from you two." I answered

"Rossi's at his friend's house Tommi." My mum told me through her study door

"Oh is he at Tohru's?" I asked through the door

"No one of his new friends picked him up. Honey I think his name was."

"Wait what? How come I didn't get told?" I demanded barging into the study

"Rossi told me you knew. He said he told you when you three walked home." Mum stated, still concentrating on typing

**_Flashback…_**

_"__Maybe I am a dog." I pondered to myself, remembering the photoshoped picture._

_"__By the way I forgot to tell you I'm hanging out at Honey's house today Tomo." Rossi informed me_

_"__You two have become good friends." Haruhi responded_

_"__Yeah turns out we have quite a bit in common." Rossi said_

_"__Woof, woof." I mumbled to myself, not listening to anything the other two said._

**_End of Flashback…_**

"Ooooh." I oohed in realisation

"Lovely to meet two more of the Host Club by the way. I'd love to meet the whole set soon. I'll try and be less busy by then." Mum added, speaking to the twins in the hallway

"I'm sure the rest of the Host Club will love to meet you Mam." The twins spoke simultaneously

"Ooh Mam very polite. I like these two Tommi." Mum approved

"I guess it's a nice change from 'Oi you the bearer of children' or 'The Motherlord'." I commented

"Do you really refer to your mother like that?" Hikaru asked

"Yes she does, and only Tommi does. If you haven't noticed she's a little odd." Mum remarked

"It's true. Well we'll leave ya to it Motherlord." I said, ushering the twins out of mum's office

"Right so we've met all of your family can we get on with you helping us with our scheme." Hikaru stated

"Yep but you haven't met everyone. The last of the Sanka clan is in my room." I responded walking up the next staircase and opening my bedroom door

"You've gotta attic room?" Kauru questioned

"Of course." I confirmed, before the walking towel proceed to nibble my feet.

"Boris you cute smushy idiot! With ya damn foot fetish." I gushed, sidestepping Boris and entering my room

"So this is your dog. No wonder you and Haruhi said this was your faviroute animal. He's adorable." Hikaru and Kauru commented, fussing over the wrinkle monster that exposed his soft belly

"Hey what's the matter with his eyes Tomuru?" Kauru asked, noticing Boris's cloudy milk eyes

"Shar-Pei's are prone to blindness; Boris has been blind from when he was born. Poor babu." I explained, receiving awws from the twins

"Correct reaction! So what exactly is it that you want me to help you with?" I asked, sitting on my swivel chair

"Well you the only person we know that has siblings and will be willing to help with our schemes." Hikaru started

"We just want some ideas and pointers to make our 'fighting brothers' act believable and fun." Kauru finished

"Oh…OK! Take a seat as I share my knowledge." I agreed, gesturing them to sit on the bed

As they sat Boris jumped up and splayed himself over the twin's laps.

"Boris you look like you're melting. Anyway you two need to throw things at each other. Anything you can get your Tweedly hands on."

"Alright what else?" the twins encouraged, writing my wisdom down

"I mean constantly, any chance you get. Also change something about your look to differ from your twin."

"What like one of us wears a hat, changes hairstyle or something?"

"I was thinking dying your hair..."

"Ok we can do that." Hikaru said

"…crazy colours."

"Huh?"

"Dye your hairs bright colours." I stated

"Ooookkk? What colours do you have in mind?" the twins questioned cautiously

"Hikaru dye your hair flamingo pink."

"Flamingo pink?"

"Yes and Kauru bright blue."

"Bright blue?"

"Yes"

"Why do we both need to-"

"DON'T QUESTION MY WISDOM!" I exclaimed

"I regret coming to you for advice." Hikaru remarked

"Seconded." Kauru added

"Well Boris has trapped you both so there's no going back MUHAHAHA! Alright let's move on to the script."

"We're having a script?"

"Of course."

A huge amount of typing and printing off later…

"Tada! Here you go, absorb those words." I told them handing them the script I created for them

"Hey this is not bad." Hikaru commented whilst skimming through the script

"Yeah thanks for your help Doggie." Kauru added, to which Boris lifted his head and licked Kauru

"Boris, no he didn't mean you. I know your are a doggie I'm sorry for the confusion." I told Boris, fussing over him

"Can we look at some of Marco's fashion designs now?" Hikaru asked

"Sure, I'll help you get freed from Boris." I agreed

It took some work but the twins were freed, however bit saliva covered, and a sad Boris curled up in one corner of my bed.

"You two can go ahead, I need to console my pouting dog." I stated

"I feel evil now." Kauru muttered guiltily

"Yeah that's how I feel every time I leave for school. It's just the cute powers of Boris." I responded

"By the way you cannot tell anyone else." Hikaru stated firmly

"What? Not even dearest!" I moaned

"Not even Haruhi."

"Darn it, thanks for telling me sooner. I hate keeping secrets from Haruhi." I complained, as they left the room

"Boris babu oooh it's not you sweetie. The twins luv you. I luv you!" I fussed, cuddling the sad towel.

* * *

**Me: Sooo there we go. You may have noticed I changed Boris's breed (it used to be an Akita). I simply love Shar-Pei's! Speaking of Boris Tomuru what in god's name have you done to your dog?**

**Tomuru: He's a wrinkly lion! Who eats feet!**

**Me: Nice touch with the fake mane. That's animal friendly paint right?**

**Tomuru: Relax I'm not an idiot.**

**Me: That...that doesn't exactly answer my question.**


	15. Episode 5 Part 3

**Me: Happy Halloween Lovelies! **

**Tomuru: Spooky Scary Skeletons send shivers down you spine!**

**Me: Of course Tomuru loves Halloween.**

**Tomuru: This is Halloween, This is Halloween pumpkins scream in the dead of night!**

**Me: Well then...**

**Tomuru: They did the Mash! They did the Monster Mash! The Monster Mash! It was a graveyard smash!**

**Me: Alright I think they get the point.**

**Tomuru: Who ya gonna call?**

**Haruhi: GHOSTBUSTERS!**

**Me: Really? **

* * *

**The next day…**

"Hey Rossi did you have fun at Honey's house?" I asked as I made breakfast

"Yeah it was sweet! We had a tea party, watched My Neighbour Totoro then had dinner." Rossi answered excitedly

"Did you get to meet his family?" Yuki asked

"I only met his younger brother Yasuchika, but he didn't seem like the friendly type. Honey also showed me some of his martial arts techniques."

"Beg ya pardon?" I questioned, as I gave Boris his breakfast

"Yeah turns out Honey's and Mori's family are famous for their martial arts. Honey himself is the best fighter in his family. They even train police forces and SAS forces." Rossi explained

"Well looks certainly are deceiving." I commented

"You weren't the only one in the company of Hosts." Yuki interjected

"Really?"

"I'll let Tomo explain or I'll be late for work later guys." Yuki stated, before leaving

"So who came to visit?" Rossi asked

"Tweedledum and Tweedledee came to visit. Marco was fanboying over them." I informed

"Why'd they come to visit?"

"They wanted to see where we lived. Plus they wanted my help with something."

"They didn't do they're Twincest act here did they?"

"I made sure they promised not to do that unspeakable behaviour before they entered the premises. Aren't you gonna ask why Marco was fanboying over the twins?" I asked

"Damn it I overslept again! Someone chuck water on me next time alright." Marco exclaimed in a panic, grabbing a piece of toast before running out the door

"Anyway I know why Marco would be excited to see them. There are pictures of them practically covering Marco's walls." Rossi responded

"Well thanks for telling me I had no idea about it until yesterday." I retorted

"I thought you knew." Rossi defended himself

"Whatever I'll give Boris his morning toilet break before we head to school." I said, which Boris dashed to the front door instinctively

**Haruhi's Narrative**

I got seated for class to start. The twins haven't arrived yet.

"Hey Haruhi." I heard Hikaru greet

However when I looked up I was shocked to see that Hikaru's hair was pink.

"Good morning." He continued

"Hikaru what in the world happened to your hair? Why is it dyed pink?" I asked in surprise

"Cus pink suits me don't you think it's cute? From now on I'm the pink haired twin. I didn't want to be mistaken for that Kauru for the rest of my life ya know." Hikaru answered

At that moment Kauru entered the classroom. His hair was dyed bright blue.

"Good morning Haruhi." Kauru greeted, both twins were blatantly ignoring each other

"So Kauru's the blue twin?" I guessed

"I finally got to sleep all by myself last night but I ended up having a nightmare. I dreamt that my stylist dyed my hair pink. It was garish and ridiculous looking I woke up screaming." Kauru commented, obviously insulting Hikaru in the process

Hikaru heard the insult and responded by moving Kauru's chair just as Kauru was sitting down, making him fall to the floor. Kauru then pulled Hikaru's chair from under him, which made Hikaru collapse on the floor. These acts then lead to a full on fight where the twins threw anything they could get their hands on at one another, which I happened to be stuck in the middle of. Thus creating a hill of stuff created behind me. I'm sure I saw Usa Chan and Honey Senpai amongst the items for some reason.

"Uuuh." I moaned to myself

At lunchtime I decided to follow the twins to the dining hall in case they got into another fight.

"I'll have the A lunch." Both the twins ordered

"No give me the B pasta and the D salad. I'll have the F Capalini with the Barbary duck. No make that a four prawn paraga sauce. STOP COPYING ME WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" The twins continued to speak simultaneously, causing the chefs to back away

"Amazing perfect unison even when fighting." I stated to myself

"I was wondering what all the fuss was about. I can't believe the two of you are still fighting. You're a disgrace to the Host Club." I heard Tamaki Senpai scorn from across the dining room

"Look who it is."

"Aww I love them."

"I've never seen them all together like that."

These comments were only a few of the comments from the girls in the dining room.

"We've had enough of this you are both to blame for this fight." Honey interjected, getting out a strawberry cake before continuing "Hika Chan and Kau Chan I want you to make up and go halfsies on this cake kay? But I want a piece too so I guess we have to go thirdsies. Oh we're not gonna be able to split the strawberry on top though. What should we do? Maybe I should just take it after all strawberries are my faviroute. Oh I forgot to ask Hika Chan, Kau Chan do you like strawberries?" Honey rambled, irritating the twins

"You're just making it worse leave them alone." Mori stated, taking Honey to one side

"Oh Haruhi I didn't expect to run into you in the dining hall." Tamaki Senpai stated happily

"I was worried about those two so I followed them without even thinking. I always bring a boxed lunch and I was just going to eat it in my classroom." I responded gesturing to my lunch I was holding

"A boxed lunch?" Tamaki muttered, before going off into his own little world

I left him to daydream and sat down at a spare table.

"Haruhi you wanna sit here with me?" Hikaru offered

"Uh ok"

"So what's that? What did you bring for lunch?" Hikaru asked casually

"Yesterday's leftovers and a rolled omelette." I answered

"You wanna switch with me? I had to order something different from Kauru so I got something I didn't actually like." Hikaru asked

"That's fine with me." I sighed, even though he already swapped lunches before I responded

_This is really magnificent. I never tried anything like this before._

As soon as I put the forkful of rich food in my mouth I knew it was ten times better than the food I usually eat. It tasted utterly delectable. Like it was the food of gods, I'm sure the surroundings were more sparkly around me as well, which was weird now that I think about it.

"So Haruhi is it any good? How would you like to taste mine? Here." I heard Kauru offer as he sat the other side of me, bringing me out of some tasty food trance

At that moment he lifted my chin up with one hand and spoon feeding me with the other. Before I could try it Hikaru intervened eating the spoonful himself.

"Quit butting in get lost Kauru." Hikaru moaned, the spoon still in his mouth

Then Kauru threw his soup at Hikaru, which Hikaru blocked using Tamaki Senpai as a shield. This, for the second time today, spiralled into a full on throwing fight. Except with more food and Hosts being chucked.

"I think I'm going to eat in my classroom after all." I decided, walking away from the chaos

**Tomuru's Narrative**

**At the Host Club…**

"Hey guys, no guests today?" I greeted entering the clubroom with Rossi

"Yeah and no twins either." Haruhi responded, looking a bit worn down

"So they're still fighting?" Rossi asked

"Uh huh." Honey answered

Rossi gave me a confused look, to which I gave him a 'just play along with it' look.

"No offense but you all look fed up." I told the Hosts that were present

"That because the twins fought all day. They even dyed their hair." Haruhi stated

"Really?" I asked, acting surprised

"Yeah blue and pink for some reason." Tamaki interjected, his head and arms flat on the table.

"What?" I exclaimed, laughing heartily

"It's not that funny Tomo." Haruhi sighed, staring through the window.

"Tis." I managed to splutter, before trying to contain myself so I didn't give anything away

_They did it! The Tweeds actually did it. I so need to see what they look like!_

"Looking at the numbers if this situation doesn't resolve I'm afraid we have to stop doing our brotherly love package. We're down a one pair of loving brothers." Kyoya informed tapping a calculator

"Oh Haruhi I just want you to know there's no reason for you to feel responsible. Even though it was your tactless comment that started this whole feud between the twins in the first place right?" Kyoya continued

"Clearly he blames you dearest." I whispered, to which Haruhi nodded in agreement

"It's weird for Hika-Chan and Kau-Chan to be fighting like this. It's never happened before." Honey commented, to which Mori agreed with an 'mm'

"They've never fought before?" Rossi questioned

"I've known Hika-Chan and Kau-Chan since we were in Preschool. We weren't in the same year so I never really got to talk to them. But I remember the two of them always played together." Honey spoke, playing with Usa-Chan thoughtfully

"Yeah that's true. I mean I've only known them since they were in Middle School. But they definitely stood out. It seemed like they kept everyone at a distance except each other. Believe it or not they were even more warped back then." Tamaki reminisced, his left hand holding up his head.

"When you stop and think about maybe this fight is a good thing for them. Maybe this means the twins are expanding their horizons a bit. We should just leave them alone and let them work it out." Tamaki continued

I started to feel guilty about keeping the twin's secret, especially from Rossi and Haruhi.

"Besides Tomo and I squabble with our siblings all the time it doesn't mean we still don't love each other." Rossi interjected lightly

"Hey not all the time." I protested

"Why pink and blue though?" Rossi thought aloud

"Huh?"

"I get that they want to be different from one another but why those colours. They seem a bit random and… weird." Rossi commented, giving me a quick glance

"Who knows maybe they just wanna be dramatic or peacocky or something." I answered vaguely and not at all suspicious in any way

**The Next day in Music room 3 **

I finally got to see the twin's new hair styles, which were greater than I ever imagined.

"Love the new hair Tweeds." I laughed

"Shut up Doggie! UH STOP COPYING ME!" the twins shouted before throwing everything they could lift and throwing it at one another, just as I told them.

"Didn't think they were that strong." I remarked

"This was basically happening all yesterday." Haruhi told me

We all stood and watched the Tweeds tire themselves out, since they threw all the furniture into one huge pile.

"How'd Honey get up there?" I wondered, staring at Honey holding Usa Chan

"Uh don't you think it's time for you two to quit all this fighting? It's driving me insane." Tamaki complained, shaking all over

"What you say? It's driving you insane? Oh you've got to be kidding right now how do you think I feel right now? Every time I look in the mirror I see his face. I am sick and tired of constantly being mistaken for you Kauru. The truth is I HATE YOUR GUTS!" Hikaru shouted

_I remember typing some of that._

"You took the words right out of my mouth. In fact I hate you so much I bought this. Belsanaff the curse doll!" Kauru retorted, getting out a brown cat doll and a pen

_I didn't put that in the script?_

This made Tamaki shriek and cower away.

"I'm going to complete the curse Hikaru. I'm gonna write his name on your back. From now on you will experience nothing but misfortune and sorrow!" Kauru declared scribbling on the back of the doll.

Haruhi and I looked at each other then decided to end this charade (though Haruhi didn't realise that just yet). The twins have gone a bit too far with that act. we both ran towards them, then Haruhi punched them on the top of their heads.

"WILL YOU GUYS JUST KNOCK IT OF!" Haruhi yelled as she hit them, which surprised the Hosts

I grab the doll away from Kauru as Haruhi continued to tell off the twins.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU DON'T BRING SOMETHING LIKE THIS INTO A PETTY FIGHT! BOTH OF YOU ARE AT FAULT HERE BUT WHAT'S REALLY SAD IS THAT YOU'VE BOUGHT EVERYONE AROUND YOU INTO YOUR BIG MESS! NOW APOLOGISE TO EACH OTHER! IF YOU DON'T MAKE UP RIGHT NOW I'M NEVER GOING TO LET YOU COME TO MY HOUSE HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?" Haruhi exclaimed

"Guys you can squabble all you like but don't get dark magic stuff involved. Specially this voodoo witchcraft." I agreed

The twins looked shocked for a moment before symmetrically smirking. Slowly they got up and sneaked around Haruhi and me.

"So what you're saying Haruhi is that if we make up we can go to your place?" the twins spoke smugly

I turned the doll around the see that Kauru wrote 'Blank' not Hikaru. The twins proceeded to high five each other.

"I'm so sorry Kauru. Even though we were just following our script I said such awful things to you. I'm not fit to be your brother." Hikaru apologised, returning to his brotherly love state

"Don't say that Hikaru! I was so worried. I couldn't live with myself if I ever thought I'd hurt you." Kauru responded in his brotherly love state

"Are the poses necessary?" I mumble to myself

"Kauru I'll never let you go again!"

"Hikaru!"

"You gotta be kidding me you mean you guys were faking it this whole time?" Honey exclaimed in annoyance

"We didn't have anything else to do we were bored." The twins laughed

Haruhi and Tamaki were knelt on the floor in surprise.

"They totally fooled me." I heard Haruhi mumble, making my guilt increase

"Twins with too much time on their hands…are the devil." Tamaki groaned, which the twins response was sticking their tongues out.

"…THAT'S WHY THE TWIN'S WERE AT OUR HOUSE!" Rossi exclaimed in realisation

"Uh oh." I muttered

"Say what? Sugar please tell me you didn't get involved in this." Haruhi spoke sternly at me

"Well…" I began sheepishly

"Afraid so, it was her idea to dye our hair different colours and throw things all the time. Plus she wrote the script we acted out." Hikaru confirmed, getting me even more in trouble

"Did she now?" Haruhi seethed

"Well thanks for telling your brother and best friend sister dear." Rossi remarked sarcastically

"How could you betray your father?" Tamaki whimpered

"I know I'm sorry. Does it help that I feel really bad about it? By the way they improvised most of it. I mean the curse doll was their idea. Look I'll try and make it up to you guys promise." I apologised

"You have never kept anything from me before." Haruhi murmured looking betrayed

"I know, the twins made me promise not to tell!" I responded slightly panicky, I mean I didn't want Haruhi to hate me or anything

Haruhi still did not look happy so I decided it would be best to leave. I grabbed my stuff and went out the clubroom. I walked with a daydream daze and ended up at Bernard's turf. Of course they were spitting and quacking at me.

"Yeah, yeah" I droned sitting at the farthest bench and placing my head in my hands.

"I'm gonna have to do something I really despise to make dearest forgive me." I muttered

"You got that right Tomo." Rossi spoke making me jump

"You followed me?"

"Yep, dunno why you chose here of all places."

"Dunno either I must've really screwed up. Hell I know I did. You forgive me right?" I asked hopefully

"Yeah ya dummy! You've kept stuff from me before. Like you beating up that High School lad from my previous beat up." Rossi spoke lightly

"Let me guess Yuki?" I groaned

"Uh huh, but I kinda figured you'd do something like that anyway."

"I made Haruhi's life miserable these past two days, telling the twins to throw stuff and fight." I sighed

"Well then do something that will make you miserable for two days, maybe four." Rossi suggested

"Rossi that's brilliant! Let's see things that'll make me miserable." I praised hugging Rossi

"You could have Bernard hang round you for two days?" Rossi suggested

"Too impractical, plus I'd be in hospital for duck bites…I'VE GOT IT!"

"Yeah well let's hear it?" Rossi urged

Then I whispered my plan in Rossi's ear.

"Tomo you sure?" Rossi asked nervously

"Definitely."

* * *

**Me: How's Tomuru gonna pay Haruhi back? You're just gonna have to find out next time!**

**Me: Where's Tomuru?**

_**Aaaauuuuthhhhorrr! Auuuutthhhooorr!**_

**Me: That's not my name you know.**

_**oh well then what is your name?**_

**Me: Roseanne**

_**What kinda stupid name is that?**_

**Me: My name!**

_**Oh...Rooosssseeeaannnne! **_

**Me: _'Sigh' _seeya guys next time**

**Tomuru: BOO! It was me the whole time!**

**Me: Wow I am soooo surprised  
**

**Tomuru: Nailed it!**


	16. Episode 6 Part 1

**Me: Hello Lovelies**

**Tomuru: WOOOO SPARKLERS!**

**Me: You keep away from me with those things.**

**Tomuru: Aww don't like Sparklers Rosy?**

**Me: Don't call me that and not when you're waving them around like glow sticks!**

**Haruhi: Hey guys...oh who let sugar have glow sticks?**

**Me: Hey it wasn't me I want to keep her away as far as possible.**

**DISCLAIMER: I keep telling you I own NOTHING! **

**Tomuru: How are you typing this then?**

**Me: Shut up**

* * *

**Next day at the Host Club…**

"Hey guys." I greeted as usual

I noticed that Haruhi glanced in my direction briefly before blatantly ignoring me. As I suspected she still wasn't happy with me.

"Can you two dress me up today? Ya know since you've stopped the fighting?" Rossi requested the twins, who I noticed swapped their dyed hair colours (so Hikaru had blue hair and Kauru had pink hair).

_Why'd they keep those hair colours when they've stopped fighting?_

"Sure thing." The twins agreed

"I'm coming too." I told them following them to the changing rooms

"Oh yeah? Feel like having a makeover Doggie." Hikaru teased

"That's one way of putting it." I responded before telling the twins what I planned to do

"Of course happy to help." Hikaru agreed too eagerly

"Though that particular outfit has a rather small skirt." Kauru added, both of them looking too creepily eager for my comfort

"The shorter the more uncomfortable I'll be so the skimpier the better." I responded determinedly

I was then ushered into one of the changing areas holding said attire.

_The things I do for you dearest._

**Haruhi's Narrative**

What the hell is Tomuru doing? She's off conspiring with the twins again despite what occurred yesterday. Unbelievable, she'd usually do something embarrassing to make me forgive her! Rossi came out of the dressing room wearing a purpley red dress, the twins trailed behind looking oddly enthusiastic for some reason.

"Ladies and Hosts may we turn your attention to Tomuru Sanka!" the twins announced

I huffed and began to walk towards the kitchen, not interested in what Tomo was up to.

"Ah, ah, ah you don't wanna miss this toy." The twins dragged me to a random chair that faced the changing rooms.

The guests were quietly gossiping, wondering what was happening.

"Haruhi what is your mad friend up to now?" Kyoya asked me

"Who knows." I replied

The lights were turned off and a spotlight appeared revealing Tomuru.

**Tomuru's Narrative**

As soon as the lights switched off I quickly moved to where the spotlight was going to shine, whilst putting on the makeshift sign I created the night before. When I made the signal the spotlight appeared, allowing everyone to see what I was wearing. This was the one outfit I swore I'd never wear. Breaking the only condition I made when agreeing to become errand girl. That's right I was wearing the Maids cosplay, complete with quite impractical high heels, apron and white feather dust. The sign I made had 'FORGIVE ME DEAREST!' written on the front and a picture of a cake with a red cross through it.

"WHAT IS MY DAUGHTER WEARING?" I heard Tamaki screech, getting held back from the twins

"I Tomuru Sanka hereby declare my sincere apologies to Haruhi Fujioka and until I am forgiven I shall wear this maid cosplay and not consume anything sweet. Including cakes, cookies and chocolate buttons." I announced hand on heart, the other hand held the feather duster which I pointed at Haruhi.

The lights were turned back on so I could see everyone's eyes were either on me or dearest. Then came the excited chatter from the guests.

"Aww that is so sweet!"

"Oh forgive her Haruhi."

"She must really like him!"

"How romantic!"

_I don't really consider this romantic._

"THERE IS NO WAY THAT YOUR DADDY WILL ALLOW THIS!" Tamaki yelled

"Shush." I shushed him, making him go into his dark aura

I watched Haruhi get up and walk towards me, her expression was unreadable kinda like Mori Senpai's. She looked me up and down for a second before her face broke into a huge smile and she laughed. And continued to laugh for a good few minutes.

"Dearest I'm being serious for once!" I moaned, trying to pull down the skirt part of the outfit so my frog underwear wasn't displayed, like an art piece in a gallery, but failing.

"You moron! Course you're forgiven just don't keep anything from me again alright? Pinky promise." Haruhi laughed, giving me a hug.

"Pinky promise! I'm still going to wear this outfit for the next few days just so were even." I stated, looking relieved as we did the Pinky promise.

"Yes!" the twins cheered high fiving each other

"Hey any touching or staring at my behind will get you a punch got it?" I threatened

"Yeah no objectifying my sister." Rossi snapped, giving the twins the warning glare

"Trust me you don't want to get Rossi angry." Haruhi advised

"That goes for anyone else!" I spoke vaguely, referring to the other Hosts mainly.

"Alright we'll behave." The twins assured hands up in submission, however they had their mischievous look in their eyes that told me otherwise.

"Now that's done with can you get on with your errands now?" Kyoya stated

"Right away Kyoya Senpai." I responded, before heading to the almost empty cake trolley.

"By the way nice underwear Doggie."

"Ribbit." The twins muttered as they passed

"What did I just say!" I exclaimed kicking them both on their arses

"Bloody perverts." I grumbled

As I tended to my usual routine I tried to keep my underwear form view as much as possible. Mainly crouching down to refilled tea pots instead of bending down and sitting down as much as I could.

"Doggie come over here!" the Tweeds called

"Oh goody." I remarked sarcastically walking very slowly towards them

"What?" I demanded

"Could you be a dear and pick up our napkin for us. We seemed to have dropped it." Kauru asked sweetly, though the ulterior motive was definitely hinted

I looked at where they 'dropped' their napkin which was beside the coffee table.

"You can easily get that yourselves." I pointed out

"Yes well we're too busy." Hikaru excused

"Besides it's the errand girl's job to clean up after us." Kauru added

"Fine." I spoke curtly

Instead of bending down like the twins clearly wanted I quickly crouched down and retrieved their precious napkin.

"Here! Why have you got a camera?" I asked holding the napkin at them

"What camera?" Hikaru asked taking the napkin from me.

"Yeah we didn't have a camera." Kauru added innocently

"Then what's behind your backs." I questioned, arms crossed

"The sofa genius." Tweedledum remarked sarcastically

"Right that's it! I'm warning you I'll get Rossi over here if you don't own up!" I snapped

"What's Rossi going to do?"

"Yeah he's twelve." The Tweeds teased

"You brought this on yourselves…ROSSI THE TWINS SWORE!" I shouted

Before the twins could even stand Rossi pounced on them, eyes glowing red, his movements blurred from how fast he hit. Two minutes of the Rossi treatment the twins were bruised and bitten in most places.

"Thanks Rossi!" I chirped pleasantly

"Anytime." Rossi responded, skipping back to Honey's table as if nothing happened

"Now have you learned your lessons on not being perverts?" I asked them

The just nodded their heads, tears in their eyes looking traumatised.

"Camera please." I requested, to which Hikaru quickly handed over.

"Aha! I knew that's what you two were up to! Delete." I stated, deleting the photo and handing the camera back to them.

"May I ask what is going on here?" Kyoya interjected, seeing the bruised twins

"Just teaching the Tweeds on how to treat a lady." I commented lightly

"Right well could you double check all the cosplay attire is ready for next week?" Kyoya asked

"Sure thing what's the theme?" I replied

However Kyoya didn't seem to hear me. In fact he looked like he had something else on his mind.

"Um Kyoya Senpai?" I queried in confusion

_What's he looking at?_

As soon as I looked down to where he was looking I realised why he was so distracted. Now this outfit didn't really leave much to the imagination as not only was it short enough to see my underwear but it was also strapless and well…cleavage shaped at the top. Making my boobs look a size larger than they actually are.

"Kyoya Senpai are there little aliens dancing on my chest?" I asked with a mock pleasantness

"What? No." he responded finally giving me eye contact

"Then what is the theme of next week's cosplay?" I repeated more articulately, sending him an annoyed glare

"It will be Royal Arabian themed." He answered before turning away and returning to his laptop

Still a bit annoyed I went and did as Kyoya requested.

"How are you handling dressing up maid style?" Haruhi conversed, joining me a few minutes later as I sifted through the many cosplay outfits the Host Club had.

"Does all maids' have to dress like this in rich mansions? If so then rich people are pretty perverted." I commented

"I think servants have uniforms that give them more dignity." Haruhi replied

"So I'm just wearing the skimpy outfit then." I moaned irritably

"Already getting unwanted attention sugar? Let me guess the twins?"

"Yeah but I already dealt with them Rossi style. Surprisingly Kyoya Senpai has been at it as well." I informed

"Really? Who knew Kyoya Senpai was a pervert? I thought it would be Tamaki Senpai."

"You'd think but actually he's acted the opposite. When he's not entertaining guests Tamaki's been trying to cover me up any chance he had. Whether by trying to persuade me to wear his Ouran blazer or by walking in front or behind me as I moved. It's nice an' all but it's hard to see where I'm going when all I see is Tamaki Senpai's back." I told her

"I guess he does live up to the Princely type reputation." Haruhi commented

"Yeah when he's not around you." I teased

"Shut up!" Haruhi moaned

"Alright, alright."

"Ya know you don't have to wear that silly costume anymore. You've suffered a lot more than I have in this last hour alone." Haruhi said earnestly

"Look I only have two more days of wearing this thing. Besides it gives me a good excuse to beat up people." I shrugged

"Did you beat up Kyoya Senpai?" Haruhi asked

"Nah I just asked him whether there were little aliens dancing on my chest." I replied

"Who knows maybe he secretly likes you sugar." Haruhi bantered, wiggling her eyebrows

"Oh yeah what a story that'll be for the grandkids. '_Grandma how did you and Grandpa Fall in love?" _'Well it was love at first sight for your Grandpa. However it wasn't my face he fell for.'" I scoffed pointing to my breasts, before laughing along with Haruhi

_Kyoya and I, like that'll ever happen!_

* * *

**Me: Oooh could there be something between the weirdo and the cool type? Yes? No? Maybe? I dunno I'll see.**

**Tomuru: hehehehe**

**Me: What did you do?**

**Tomuru: NOTHING! I just think that your hair looks flamin' today. **

**Me: What? ...TOMURU WHAT THE HELL!**

**Haruhi: What she do...why do you have sparklers in your hair?**

**Me: Ask your friend the fire hazard!**

**Tomuru: I thought it'd give your hair a but more SPARKLE!**

**Me: Right I'm ending this before you make another horrid pun. Seeya lovelies!**


	17. Episode 6 Part 2

**Me: Thank you for being patient lovelies! I was sure I posted this chapter. Don't worry you will get the next one tomorrow. Sorry**

**Haruhi: Maybe you getting Tomo's forgetfulness.**

**Me: I hope not**

**Tomuru: Ya know come to think of it I haven't been lost in a while.**

**Me: Noooo! **

* * *

Finally the three days of Maid Cosplay are over.

"YES! I'd never thought I'd be this happy dressing as a Turkish Princess!" I cheered gleefully

"I take it you will not be wearing that particular attire ever again?" Kyoya supposed

"Correct, I will never wear maid cosplay again." I declared

"You also get to eat cake again too sugar." Haruhi reminded me

"Holy Macaroni you're right! Honey I'm definitely eating cake with you at some point today."

"Yay Tomo-Chan can eat cake with me!" Honey responded happily

"Is Rossi still changing?" I wondered

"Nope." Rossi answered, jumping on my back

"You look like Princess Jasmine!" I commented, looking at Rossi's pale blue outfit

"I just need the long black hair and the tiger." Rossi agreed

_"I can show you the world._

_Shining, shimmering, splendid!_

_Tell me princess now when did last let your heart decide."_ I sang, giving Rossi a piggyback as I powerwalked around the clubroom.

"Into your places people our guests will be arriving any minute." Tamaki instructed

I placed Rossi back on the ground so he could sit at his usual table, whilst we got into our welcome poses in Turkish decorations.

"Welcome." We chorused when the door opened

However instead of a flurry of excited girls as usual, there stood a young boy in a green uniform.

"Oh it's just a kid." Hikaru commented

"Not only that it's a boy." Kauru added

"What's wrong little boy? Did you come to my palace in search of something?" Tamaki asked, acting in his usual royal persona

"Are you the King of this place?" the boy asked Tamaki, to which he looked flattered

"Well are you?" the boy repeated

"Come closer lost one." Tamaki told the kid, to which the boy went and stood in front of the posing Hosts.

"What was it you just called me little boy?" Tamaki inquired

_Come on he knew exactly what he said!_

"The King." The boy replied

"THE KING! YES THE KING! I AM THE KING OF THE OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB! LONG LIVE THE HOST KING!" Tamaki exclaimed in delight, with stars in his eyes

"I'm an elementary 5th year, Shiro Takaoji. I want the Host Club king to take me on as an apprentice!" the kid demanded, pointing at Tamaki

Of course Tamaki was going to say yes. I could tell by the overjoyed look in his eyes.

**Next day at the Host Club…**

"I knew it!" I remarked as soon as I saw Shiro observing Tamaki using his Princely charms on one of his guests

"As if Tamaki Senpai's ego needs to get any bigger." Haruhi stated

"Did his majesty order the kid to stare at him so intently?" I questioned, finding it odd that the Elementary 5th year was observing the Princely act so closely

"Of course." Kyoya answered

"Don't you think it's weird that he's making the kid observe up close like that?" Haruhi asked

"Exactly what I thought dearest." I agreed

"There is a theory that states that people are considered more beautiful the closer they are viewed. Tamaki seems to live by that theory." Kyoya informed, writing on a clipboard as usual

"You look more like the carp that swim in my pond at home I'd never give false compliments like that!" I heard Shiro insult the guest Tamaki was entertaining

"CARP!" the guest cried out

"Don't listen to him he's just a kid. You know how kids are they can't help but be honest." Tamaki tried to comfort

"HONEST!"

"No I wouldn't say you look like a carp and even if you did look like a carp you'd be the most beautiful carp of them all." Tamaki once again tried and failed to console

"SO I AM A CARP!"

"No that's not what I meant." Tamaki whimpered meekly

"TAMAKI YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" the girl shouted, running out of the room crying.

"NO WAIT MERMAID PRINCESS!" Tamaki called to the upset guest as she ran

"Well looks like she's not returning any time soon." I sighed, heading over to Tamaki's table to take away any dishes

"Man what a cry baby." Shiro commented, to which Tamaki glared at the mouthy youth

"So how's it goin' boss? That's an adorable little apprentice you've got there." Hikaru laughed

"Hikaru do you wish you had a little brother like Shiro?" Kauru asked quietly

"Oh here we go." I mutter as I roll my eyes

"Don't be silly I could search the globe and not find a brother better than you Kauru." Hikaru responded, cupping Kauru's face

"Hikaru." Kauru pined

"Look they're doing it!"

"It's forbidden brotherly love." Two of the twin's guests gushed

I wolf whistled at the twins before I turned my attention to Shiro to see what he thought of the 'brotherly love' act.

"They're Homos and they're brothers. This is totally insectuous!" Shiro said in disgust, he looked horrified as one of hands held onto the table to stop him falling from shock.

"I think you mean incestuous and yes it is, incredibly so." I corrected

_Finally a student in this school has a normal reaction to the twin's barely legal act!_

Still looking shocked Shiro backed away from the twins, only to be glomped from behind by Honey Senpai.

"Hey Shiro Chan you wanna have some cake with me? We've got three kinds chocolate, strawberry and lime." Honey asked, still on Shiro's back

"Hey back off! What grade are you in anyway why are wearing a High school uniform?" Shiro demanded, pushing Honey off his back

"Guess not everyone likes having their personal space infiltrated." Rossi commented, joining me in observing Shiro

"Ha he certainly is in the wrong place then. The Hosts don't know the meaning of personal space." I responded sharing a laugh with my little brother

"I think Shiro might be a year or two younger than me." Rossi stated

"He's got to be at least 10." I added, before we turned our attention to Shiro

"Something wrong Mitskuni?" Mori inquired, to an upset Honey who leapt onto Mori's back

"No way a little kid like you shouldn't have a cool older friend like him!" Shiro exclaimed

"Actually they're both High School third years." I interjected, getting a shocked look from Shiro.

At that moment Shiro backed into Haruhi, who was holding a fancy looking tea set.

"Are you alright? I know it's kinda hard to get used to all the weirdos around. Took me a while to get adjusted to all the craziness but don't freak out I'm sure you'll get used to it." Haruhi told Shiro reassuringly

"Something wrong?" she asked when Shiro didn't respond

"Are you a cross dresser?" Shiro asked

"Okay that's enough I think Shiro should take care of the tea for us don't you?" Tamaki spoke hastily, putting his hand over Shiro's eyes.

"Wow Haruhi you're looking extra manly today." Kauru commented patting Haruhi's head like Hikaru

"Do as the boss says and let Shiro carry that tea set. You're too macho for tea sets." Hikaru continued the façade, laughing nervously, with Tamaki and Kauru.

_Yeah he's not buying it._

The boy's impression was unimpressed as he took Tamaki's hand off his face.

"Now be careful with it, it's pretty heavy." Haruhi warned, handing Shiro the tea set

"Perhaps I should carry the…" I started

But before I could finish Shiro dropped the expensive looking tea set, smashing the tea set into pieces.

"…tea set." I sighed

"It's not my fault I dropped it. It's your fault for making me take it in the first place." Shiro blamed Haruhi

"Say what?" Haruhi uttered

"Haruhi that's another hundred thousand yen, oh and clean up the mess Tomuru." Kyoya interjected

"Huh?" Haruhi exclaimed

"On it Senpai." I stated, saluting before getting a dust pan and brush.

When I returned the guests were gone and Shiro was in a cage, shouting madly. I was only gone for two minutes!

"Uh dearest an explanation if you please?"

"Apparently it's 'Isolation'. Where did it come from anyway? It's supposed to be a music room right?" Haruhi wondered

"So why's Shiro in it?"

"He was being mouthy, plus he dissed Haruhi." Rossi answered

"What did he hear Haruhi sing?" I joked

"Shut up it's not that bad." Haruhi snapped hitting my arm

"Not that bad!" I scoffed, getting another hit from Haruhi

"THIS IS NO WAY TO TREAT YOUR LOYAL APPRENTICE NOW LET ME OUTTA THIS CAGE!" Shiro yelled

_Jeez lil' dude got some tonsils on him._

"Not until you've learnt your lesson. I made you my apprentice because I thought you were serious about becoming a Host but I guess I was wrong." Tamaki responded calmly, before taking a sip of tea.

"I am serious, totally serious! I want you to teach me how to make a woman happy." Shiro insisted, sounding slightly desperate.

_Why does he want to learn about that sort of thing at his age? Puberty maybe? Ooor there's already someone he's eager to please. Holy Macaroni Shiro like likes some lucky lady!_

"What's with that look on your face sugar?"

"Nothing." I sang

When Tamaki didn't respond Shiro collapsed on his knees.

"I'm gonna run out of time, please won't you teach me? You're a Host because you like girls, you like putting smiles on a girl's face. That's why you do it right?" Shiro pleaded then began to use flattery "Please won't you teach me to be like you. You're a genius at it, you're the King."

"Well you maybe a brat but I admire you desire to become a Host so I'll teach you." Tamaki agreed

_Of course, flattery always works on Tamaki._

"You know Shiro you and I are so much alike." Tamaki remarked

"You poor kid." Haruhi muttered, making me laugh a little.

"So you're can teach me how to make any woman happy?" Shiro asked eagerly

"Of course making women happy is the sole purpose of being a Host. If this is what you really Shiro then you need to know how to use the materials you already have." Tamaki responded

"What does that mean?" Shiro queried

"Ahh why is it so bright all of a sudden?" I exclaimed covering my eyes, when the room's lighting suddenly increased

"Why does the Host Club do anything?" Haruhi responded

"For dramatic effect!" both of us stated

"You see here at the Ouran Host club our policy is to use our individual personality traits to meet the needs of our guests. For example there's Tamaki, who is the Princely type. There's the strong, silent type, there's the boy Lolita type, the little devil type and the cool type. It's all about variety. And now the group is complete with the addition of Haruhi, the Natural." Kyoya explained

"The Natural?" Haruhi and I questioned

_Where did they get the roses from? Why are they different colours? Hang on is this why the twins wanted to know Haruhi and I favourite colours? _

"Are the poses really necessary?" Rossi queried

"Rossi of course they are! Why else would they do such a pointless act so often!" I responded in mock scorn

"It seems we have a perfect blend of characteristics so it will be difficult to find a new type for Shiro." Kyoya continued

"If you go by his age he should be the Boy Lolita type." Hikaru started

"But Honey Senpai has already got that covered." Kauru finished

"Is he gonna replace me?" Honey whimpered

"Aww Honey of course not. If you leave I leave." I comforted, hugging the older boy whilst trying to dry his eyes.

"Oh come on is that all you've got?" a certain prissy pink bow voice echoed through the clubroom

"Oh no." I whispered in dread, holding a surprisingly light but still whimpering Honey Senpai.

Renge rose on her platform of drama.

"What's up with this place it's supposed to be a music room?" Haruhi muttered beside me.

"Sorry to interrupt gentlemen but what's with the lacklustre character analysis. I must say I'm quite disappointed I thought I taught you better." Renge commented, sounding disappointed

"Alright then Miss Manager how would you work Shiro into our collection of characters? He can't be the Boy Lolita cus Honey's already got that covered." Tamaki asked irritably, pointing towards Honey and I.

"Hey Tomuru!" Renge greeted me…enthusiastically? She was smiling and waving happily at me…what the?

"Uh hey." I replied unsurely, giving Haruhi a 'What the fraggle was that?' look.

She just shrugged looking just as bewildered as I was.

"You just don't get it do you! Now listen up there are plenty of girls out there who have a thing for younger boys or boys with baby faces. These girls would be considered Shota fans. Now Shota can be a fairly broad category so it is important to know that the genre can be broken into smaller sub-categories. For example Shota fans who are interested in Lolita boys would favour a boy like Honinosuka Senpai. However this little boy is different. If I could pick a character for him…yes he'll be the Naughty boy type without a doubt." Renge explained, turning her attention back to the Hosts.

As she spoke Kyoya noted down what she was saying and Tamaki was listening in awe.

"The Naughty type?" Shiro questioned, as he was freed from the cage.

_'__Whistle_ '"Now to play at the Naughty type you have to wear shorts, ok." Renge instructed

_'__Whistle_' "You've gotta have bumps and bruises, give him a couple of scars!" she continued as the twins drew on Shiro's face

_'__Whistle_' "Run like a spoiled child, make it reckless! Now I want you to trip and make it big!" Renge demanded to which Shiro tripped up on the rope that was set out for him.

"Are you ok little boy?_ '__Whistle_' Now give them you're catchphrase!"

"No big deal, it was nothin'." Shiro gave us his catchphrase, in a bad boy tone.

"That was perfect, absolutely perfect Shiro!" Renge praised

"That was outstanding; I never knew you were such a great coach Renge!" Tamaki commented in awe, applauding Renge, to which Renge laughed that loud, obnoxious, annoying…

"Tomuru be nice." Kyoya told me

"How the heck did you…? Oh yeah you're an evil shadow lord I forgot."

_Great now Kyoya Senpai reads minds! Will his powers never cease!_

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU PEOPLE!" Shiro shouted in frustration, to which the Hosts turned their attention to him.

"This so stupid none of this is ever going to make her happy. You're all mad except for that black haired girl." Shiro exclaimed before running out of the clubroom.

"Who's her?" Haruhi wondered

"Wait Shiro we haven't taught you how to apply the techniques you've learnt yet." Tamaki called after him.

"I swear younger boys are good for nothing! I went through all that trouble to teach him and he quits!" Renge sighed

"Did he just say everyone was mad…Except me?" I asked in disbelief making sure I heard right.

"Apparently so." Kyoya confirmed

"Renge being nice, I'm not considered weird there's only one explanation. I'm in a parallel universe." I decided

"Apparently so." Kyoya repeated

"I can't believe he ditched us because he didn't enjoy the lesson. What a selfish little brat." Tamaki commented

"There are not that many people who would enjoy that kind of lesson. But never mind that did you listen to what he said. He said he was going to run out of time what do you think he means by that? I think that maybe it's a girl." Haruhi responded

"Of course it's a girl, why else would he be interested in entertaining girls at his age? Ya know besides puberty." I agreed

"Tomuru Chan this is for you!" Renge interjected joyfully, placing a large pink box, with dark pink ribbon tied around it, at my feet.

"For me…wait Chan?"

"See it as a 'sorry for being a meanie' gift. Of course you only like Haruhi as a friend." Renge continued pleasantly, too pleasantly.

"Uh…thank you this is very…thoughtful." I managed to tell her

_What is this? Something's not right. There's probably a bomb in there or a cake filled with Sushi!_

I carefully lifted up the present and shook it slightly before placing it back down. It was kinda heavy and there was something solid in there.

_Well if it was a bomb it would go off when I shook it right?_

I glanced at Renge whose mouth was smiling, but her eyes had a flicker of malice. I tentatively lifted the lid slightly, then fully to reveal what she gave me.

"No, no not him anything but him!" I exclaimed in terror backing away from the gift.

Inside the box was Bernard staring at me like little devils was coming from his eyes with tiny pitchforks ready to stab my terrified blue eyes.

_"__Quack!" _Bernard quacked menacingly

"NO GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME! RENGE I SWEAR I'M GONNA GET YOU BACK FOR THIS! I'M SORRY FOR SHAKING YOU BERNARD!" I yelled running around the clubroom with Bernard snapping at my heels, as Renge laughed evilly

"Muhahahaha! That was too easy; Bernard the duck and I have joined forces to make your Haruhi stealing butt miserable!" I heard Renge exclaim through the angry quacks

"NOOOO! WILL ONE OF YOU GUYS HELP ME OUT HERE!" I demanded, to the others that were just watching me get harassed

_'__Whistle' _Bernard stopped chasing me and returned to Renge's side. She and Bernard returned to the chasm from once they came and I dropped to my knees in exhaustion and relief.

"How'd she even make a deal with a duck anyway?" I muttered

* * *

**Me: So Bernard and Renge are joining forces. Will Tomuru survive? Who knows?**

**Haruhi: Where did sugar go?**

**Me: I asked her to go down to the shops four hours ago**

**Meanwhile...**

**Tomuru: DAMMIT Again! **

**'Moo'**

**Back in my room...**

**Me: Ah balance has been restored in the universe.**


	18. Episode 6 Part 3

**Me: Next Chapter as promised lovelies**

**Tomuru: Kyoya Senpai where's the Black Magic club?**

**Kyoya: Are you planning on doing something crazy and/or dangerous?**

**Tomuru:...Nooo just a little voodoo doll of a certain avarian creature.**

**Haruhi: a voodoo doll of Bernard won't work.**

**Tomuru: I'm sorry I didn't realise dearest was secretly Nekazowa.**

**Kyoya: Don't meddle with Black Magic idiot.**

**Me: I thought you didn't believe in that stuff.**

**Tomuru: Course he does he's the evil shadow lord.**

**Kyoya: Moron**

* * *

"This is a ridiculous plan! How were we talked into this again?" I stated irritably

"I agree why are we dressed as Middle School students?" Haruhi backed up

"It'll be ok you guys. It was so easy to sneak in and wearing this uniform I really do look like I'm in Elementary school." Honey assured

"Well there's no denying that Honey, you do fit in, ya know since we are sneaking into an Elementary school." I replied, noticing how well Honey suits the green uniform.

"Still doesn't explain our uniform." Haruhi muttered

"I think they just wanted us dressed up like this, especially in these mini shirts." I guessed, trying to pull the skirt a little lower.

I spotted the other Hosts hiding in some closet, watching from afar. So I stuck my tongue out childishly at them, to which the twins returned cheekily.

**To add some context…**

"Alright men it's time to initiate the mission." Tamaki told us earlier today.

"What do you mean?" Haruhi asked

"What mission?" Honey queried

"Why aren't the lights on? Why are you guys making those creepy faces? How are you doing that with your eyes and mouths?" I wondered, feeling a little creeped out and confused

"I've assessed the situation we'll infiltrate the Elementary school. You three are going in" Tamaki told us, with a creepy smile and blue sparks for eyes, when the others looked like Jack O' Lanterns

"But where are we going?" Haruhi and Honey whimpered

"You haven't explained how you're doing that with your eyes! Is this the shadow lords doing?" I demanded, which in hindsight meant I wasn't really concentrating on the situation at hand.

So the twins dragged Haruhi and I into a changing room and gave us the brown Middle School uniform. Honey was given the green Elementary school uniform.

"Why do we need to wear this if we're going to an Elementary school?" I asked the twins through the curtain

"Reasons." Was the only reply I got whenever dearest or I asked.

Haruhi was given the wig she wore at the dance party and my hair was put into tight, high pigtails to make me look 'younger'.

**Back to the present…**

"Why do we even bother with disguises we stick out like a sore thumb." Haruhi grumbled

"Come one Haru Chan and Tomo Chan this way." Honey urged dragging the two of us to where Shiro's class was.

"This is it, Shiro Chan's classroom. When I was in Elementary School this was my classroom too." Honey commented, when we entered the correct class.

"There's nobody here."

"So the kid's class is empty huh?" Tamaki stated casually, as he and the other Hosts entered the classroom

"This sure takes me back." Hikaru commented

"I wonder if there are still doodles on my desk." Kauru wondered

"Doubtful the school changes out the desks every year." Kyoya informed

"Let's check out the cafeteria after this." Hikaru suggested

"I want to see the old gym." Kauru added

"Good idea Kauru." Tamaki commented

"Hey if you're just going to barge in here like that then why are we wearing these stupid disguises!" Haruhi whisper seethed

"Don't worry about." Hikaru waved off

"There's no one here to catch us." Kauru assured

At that moment we heard footsteps in the hall outside coming towards the classroom. All of us crouched under the tables to make sure we weren't spotted.

"Wow we're practically invisible." I remarked quietly and sarcastically.

"If the teacher finds us…"Kauru started

"We'll have hard time explaining how we got in." Hikaru finished

"Silence yourself Tweeds!" I whisper snapped

"Just keep your lips zipped." Haruhi stated, making the zippy lips gesture, which the twins and Tamaki copied.

_Tomato faces… hang on have they always had zips to shut their mouths?_

"Alright the coast is clear." I told them, looking through the window.

"Guys we came here to get the scoop on Shiro so what do you think we should do now?" Haruhi asked

"What exactly are we looking for anyway?" I wondered

"Well here's something interesting." Kyoya interjected, looking at the class photos.

"What do ya evil eyes see?" I questioned, coming to see what he found.

"Hey that's Shiro." Haruhi commented, all of us looking at the picture of Shiro happily playing the piano with a smiling girl beside him.

"So he's in the Classical Music club." Kyoya stated

"It looks like he's enjoying himself; it's nice to see him with a smile on his face. I had no idea he could look so sweet." Haruhi remarked

"Yeah." Tamaki agreed thoughtfully

We left Shiro's classroom and headed to the Elementary school's Classical Music club. When we found it I spotted Shiro sitting at a window seat looking out of the window, he seemed deep in thought.

"There he is, there's Shiro Chan." Honey spotted Shiro.

"Excuse me Takaoji? I'm sorry but have you been practising the new piece teacher gave us?" We heard a cute Elementary school girl ask Shiro.

"The new piece? Not really." Shiro admitted to her.

"If you want I can show it you. Do you want to come play it with me?" the girl offered

"No thanks after all there's only one grand piano. You should use it Komishiro." Shiro replied

"Thank you I will then. And if you want to join me just let me know." The girl stated, gladly going over to the piano to play the Grand piano.

As she played I couldn't help but notice Shiro smiling contently.

_So this must be the girl Shiro's into._

"Pardon me Mademoiselle. I've never seen a rose more lovely than you my dear. Here this is for you. I was wondering if you could tell me anything about that young lady playing the piano. Do you know her?" Tamaki used his Host mannerisms to get information from an Elementary girl who left the room Shiro was in.

_Seriously where do the roses come from? I don't think using his Princely charms on a ten year old is even legal._

"That's Hina Komishiro." The girl told us.

"Her name is Hina?"

"That's right but you better not fall in love with her." she warned

_What an odd warning? Why the heck would she tell Tamaki that?_

"Why?" Tamaki asked

"Didn't you know? Hina is about to move away soon. Her dad just got a new job in Germany so they have to move there at the end of the week." The student informed

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? I WANT YOU IDIOTS TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!" Shiro yelled standing outside the music room.

Just then Tamaki picked up Shiro and slung him over his shoulder, all with a straight faced seriousness.

"PUT ME DOWN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Shiro screamed pausing briefly when Hina was by the door, looking worried "LET ME GO JUST PUT ME DOWN! WHERE DO YA THINK YOU'RE TAKING ME YOU BIG JERK? AAH PUT ME DOWN!"

"It's time to go gentlemen quit thrashing around." Tamaki stated calmly as we left.

Once we returned to the clubroom Tamaki put Shiro on one of the sofas.

"Why aren't the lights on? Wait…dramatic effect?" I guessed

"Naturally." Kyoya responded

"What the hell's your problem you big idiot?" Shiro demanded

"I'm sorry but you're the idiot. You said you wanted me to teach you how to make women happy but that's not it isn't it? You're not just concerned about the happiness of just any woman. You've got your sights set on one woman in particular. You only care about one and that's Hina Komishiro! But I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to help you with that. Listen Shiro I know that I told you that it's the job of a Host to make women happy but when you care for someone you must find the courage to express what is in your heart. You must tell her how you feel about her. You didn't come to me looking to become a full-fledged Host, you wanted to be a full-fledged man." Tamaki spoke seriously

"_'__If you care for someone you must find the courage to express what's in your heart'_. Funny that Tamaki was the one to say it huh Kyoya Senpai?" I remarked, spotting the irony.

"Indeed." Kyoya agreed, with a knowing smirk.

"It doesn't matter anymore I've run out of time. I just wanted to hear her play one last time, before she left for good that's all." Shiro stated, a little sadly I picked up on.

"That piece she played its Mozart's Senada in B Major for two pianos isn't it?" Tamaki spoke rhetorically unveiling a Grand piano that was revealed by a spotlight.

"Hang on since when is there a grand piano in here?" Haruhi questioned

"Well it is a Music room after all…" Kauru started

"So why wouldn't it have a Grand piano?" Hikaru finished

"It is a music room after all." Kyoya repeated

"It is a Music Room." Mori joined in, rubbing it in

"It's always been there we just had it covered up." Honey added.

"Alright guys I think she gets the point!" I remarked in irritation.

Then Tamaki played the same piece Hina played earlier, which admittedly took my breath away a little. Since when could Tamaki play the piano?

"Awesome." Shiro breathed in awe.

"For the next week you will spend your mornings, lunches, recesses and free time after school in piano lessons with me." Tamaki stated to Shiro as he played.

"But why?" Shiro asked

"You wanted to be my apprentice right? Besides that young lady looked like she wanted nothing more than to play the piano with you." Tamaki answered

**Friday at the Host Club…**

We planted an invitation for Hina to come to the Host Club today. Our plan was to get Hina and Shiro playing the piano together.

"Welcome Princess we've been waiting!" We greeted when Hina entered the clubroom.

We all wore matching white suits with red ties; however I wore a white skirt instead of trousers.

"I present to you Shiro Takaoji's piano recital." Tamaki declared, revealing Shiro who was seated at one of the Grand pianos.

Hina looked surprised by the whole situation, which to be honest I couldn't blame her for.

"If you please Princess." Tamaki spoke to Hina pulling the empty seat beside Shiro out for her.

"Let's play together Hina." Shiro offered, smiling pleasantly towards Hina.

"Okay." Hina replied happily.

She sat by the other piano and the two Elementary school students played in sync, the sight was kinda adorable.

"We did a good thing." Tamaki decided, as we all watched the two kids play.

"He loves with all his heart. So I guess that's one more way Shiro takes after you huh Senpai." Haruhi commented

"Why yes I say so." Tamaki responded, to which Haruhi smiled at him.

**Inner Monologue **

_They are so smitten it's ridiculous!_

_I agree._

_What the heck? Get outta my head Kyoya! Only dearest is allowed to telepathically speak with me!_

_How long do you think they'll still be ignorant of each other's feelings?_

_Did you just ignore me?_

_Yes _

_Rude, anyway Haruhi is pretty blind when it comes to guys falling for her. you should have seen her in Middle school._

_Care to wager?_

_I dunno if it'll be wise to make a bet with an evil shadow lord._

_When have you ever been wise?_

_True… alright I bet that Tamaki and Haruhi get together at the end of the school year!_

_Very well what will be the victor's winnings?_

_If I win you have to be my slave for a day. If you win I have to be your slave._

_Alright then the bet is on._

_May the odds be ever in your favour shadow lord!_

**Monday at the Host Club…**

"So you've been exchanging emails with Hina every day now that she's in Germany?" Haruhi asked Shiro, who was surrounded by some of the guests.

"Yeah more or less. I like her but she can be pretty jealous for an Elementary school girl. She'd be upset if I was with you ladies so let's keep this our little secret." Shiro responded, in his Naughty boy Host mode.

"His girlfriend is so lucky."

"I wish I had a brother just like him."

"Naughty boys are the best."

"I could kiss you." The guests gushed over Shiro.

"You little brat what are you doing those are my guests?" Tamaki seethed

"Well I they've found someone they like better it's so easy to steal your customers there's a new Host club King in town." Shiro answered defiantly, making Tamaki explode in a fit of anger.

"I thought he'd make it without exploding this time." Kauru stated, trying to hold Tamaki down along with his brother.

"We shoulda known he was going to blow up sooner or later." Hikaru added.

"Shiro does have a lot in common with Tamaki Senpai. I get the feeling that Senpai was also a spoiled brat when he was a kid." Haruhi commented

"I was not a spoiled brat! I was nothing like him when I was a kid. I was a sweet innocent, precocious, adorable child. Do you hear me?" Tamaki exclaimed

"Just once it'll be nice to have a calm day." I sighed

"Now what would be the fun in that?" Kyoya replied

"What the heck did I miss? I was only gone for one day?" Rossi demanded

"Long story brother dear."

"Isn't it always?"

* * *

**Me: Are you sure it was a good idea to make a deal with...what in gods name is that?**

**Tomuru: The voodoo doll of Bernard duh!**

**Me: It looks nothing like a duck. What did you make it out of?**

**Tomuru: Green Play Doh and it looks exactly like Bernard!**

**Me: A Bernard that needs to be put out of his misery.**

**Tomuru: That's the plan!**


	19. Episode 7 Part 1

**Me: Hello Lovelies next chapter for you as always. I just realised that it was not explained where Rossi was during the previous episode. So Rossi where were you?**

**Rossi: I was over at Tohru's doing a school project.**

**Tomuru: Boring**

**Me: Shut up anyway I don't own OHSHC. Enjoy!**

* * *

**At my house…**

"T, someone at the door for ya!" Yuki called up to me.

"Is it someone important?" I responded, too lethargic to see for myself.

"Get off your bloody arse and find out for yourself!" Yuki snapped

"DON'T SWEAR!" Rossi exclaimed from his room

"Sorry R." Yuki apologised

"Uh Fiiine!" I droned, making such an effort to get out from under Boris, out of bed and downstairs.

Boris followed me downstairs to investigate the new pair of feet to nibble.

"He's in the kitchen chatting to mum." Yuki told me as we passed on the staircase.

"Alright."

When I went into the kitchen I found 'The Creator' talking to the shadow lord. Boris went straight up to Kyoya and slobbered on some pricey looking shoes, to which Kyoya grimaced though still patted Boris's head.

"Congratulations you are now Boris approved." I told Kyoya lightly

"I'm so honoured." He remarked sarcastically

"I see you've met another one of the Host Club set Creator." I commented leaning on the breakfast bar.

"Five out of six now, I have yet to meet the actual President of this club you're attending." Motherlord responded.

"So what exactly are you doing here shadow lord?" I asked Kyoya

"I'm here to pick you and Rossi up." Kyoya replied

"So this is who you're referring to when you say Shadow lord, I've often wondered." Mum realised

"You'd understand if you knew him Creator. So where are we going?" I turned to Kyoya

"I'm not allowed to say, King's orders." Kyoya replied

"Darn, fine I'll get Rossi, we can probably go right Creator?" I made sure I got mum's permission beforehand.

"Yes you're allowed, as long as I know where you're going." She responded, to which Kyoya whispered in her ear.

"Aw C'mon she's allowed to know and I can't!" I protested

"Yes now I suggest you get ready." Kyoya replied bluntly

I huffed and ran up the stairs to tell Rossi to get ready. Boris remained at Kyoya's feet.

**Kyoya's Narrative**

"So I take it Tomuru and Rossi talk about the Host Club?" I sussed

"More Tommi than Rossi, it's now the highlight of my day. There's always something going on in that club of yours isn't there?" Ms Sanko responded lightly

"There is certainly not a dull moment Ma'am. Could I be rash and ask how your story's getting on?" I asked

"Such a polite boy, Tommi said that you were a fan. I made a deadline for the end of this year, I'm halfway finished my first write up. Then my personal critics, Haruhi and Tomuru, will read through it."

"I look forward to reading it."

"So a water-park hmm, I look forward to the story Tommi will tell me when she gets back."

"I'm sure today will be eventful as usual. Tomuru and Rossi can swim can't they?" I thought it would be best to ask.

"Didn't Tommi tell you? My eldest Yuki's a gym/ swimming coach. They both can swim wonderfully." Ms Sanko assured

"There is still plenty I don't know about Tomuru just yet Ma'am." I replied

"Hmm well I'm sure she tell you anything you wish to know if you ask nicely." Ms Sanka stated, with a thoughtful expression.

"Alright we're ready to go to the mystery place." Tomuru interjected, standing by the kitchen door with her younger brother.

She changed from her pajamas into a pair of knee length olive green shorts and a blood orange hugging top, with black and purple trainers. Her hair was up in her usual high ponytail. Rossi wore a white and red striped sundress with a red polka dot headband.

"Very well, it was a pleasure meeting you Ma'am." I politely spoke to Tomuru's mother before we left.

"Please the pleasure's all mine. Hope to meet the whole set soon." Ms Sanka replied pleasantly

"Don't wait up Creator." Tomuru called

"I never do." Her mother responded.

"Rude." Tomuru muttered

"Of course we are going in a limo." She remarked when she saw the vehicle I came in.

"Naturally." I responded

"Sweet!" Rossi cheered, going in first.

"Oooh very fancy." Tomuru spoke in a posh accent, to which I shook my head at her oddness.

"Do you really call your own mother 'Creator' or was you just calling her that because I was there?" I asked, as we drove to the water-park.

"Believe me it wasn't because you were there. She calls mum all sorts." Rossi answered

"Creator, Oi you, Bearer of Children, Wordsmith but usually I just call her Motherlord." Tomuru listed

"Your lack of respect for your mother unnerves me." I remarked dryly

"Hey just cus I don't call her mum doesn't mean I don't respect her!" Tomuru argued

**Tomuru's Narrative**

Kyoya didn't look like he believed me so I tried to look through the tinted windows to see where we were going.

"So we're not picking up dearest then?"

"No Tamaki and the twins are picking up Haruhi." Kyoya informed

_Kyoya, Kyoya this is your voice of reason. Tell the pretty girl next to you where she's going._

"Nice try." Kyoya remarked, smirking

"Darn it!" I stated

"What? What did she do?" Rossi asked in confusion

"Tried to use my mind powers to persuade shadow lord to tell us where we're going." I explained

"Oh."

_Pretty girl don't flatter yourself, you're barely female._

_Oi I heard that!_

_Good _

_Evil, rude shadow lord! I've got so much planned for you when you're my slave. You haven't forgotten our little bet have you?_

_Of course not, though it will be you who'll be my slave._

_I bet you would put me in that horrid maid outfit, pervert. You certainly thought I was a female then didn't you?_

_Shut up idiot weirdo._

"Will you two please just stop with the staring contest?" Rossi snapped in irritation

"Rossi we were having a conversation!" I groaned

"Then have your telepathic conversations when I'm not the only other person in the room, or in this case limo." Rossi stated

"Alright fine, so where are we going?" I urged

"Ow jeez I didn't think you'd result to violence so quickly." I rubbed my leg where Kyoya kicked it.

"Well you annoy me quickly. I suggest you be patient."

I huffed and turned to the tinted window again. I slowly began to nod off.

"Wake up Tomuru." Kyoya woke me up firmly, shaking my arm.

"We're here?" I perked up like a meerkat pressing my nose to the window.

"It's a water-park!" Rossi exclaimed excitedly

"We shoulda took Yuki, she loves water." I commented

"This is a new water-park my family owns, the Tropical Aqua Gardens. It won't be open until next month, but the Host club got a special permission to try it out." Kyoya explained

"Is this a practise test before its open to the public, ya know like Jurassic Park?" I guessed

"Something like that, though no dinosaurs."

"Darn."

The three of us got out and went inside. Rossi ran towards Honey and chattered excitedly. All the other Hosts were there as well as Haruhi. The hosts wore swimming trunks, Haruhi was wearing a yellow pull over and green checked shorts.

"Hello Smellos!" I greeted

"Hey we don't smell!" the twins protested

"It's one of sugar's greetings don't take it personally." Haruhi stated

"Loving the swim shorts guys. Not swimming dearest?"

"Nah water-parks aren't my thing you know that." Haruhi replied

"You're swimming right Doggie, Rossi?" Kauru asked

"Yeah but neither of us have our swimwear. Since someone wanted to keep it a secret." I accused pointing at Kyoya

"I told you it was Tamaki who wanted it to be kept a secret." Kyoya stated

"I thought it would be a nice surprise for my darling son and daughter." Tamaki explained acting fatherly again

"Son?" Rossi queried

"Welcome to the family!" I cheered

"Leave the swimwear to us." The twins interjected dragging Rossi and I towards the female changing area.

"Do what you've got to do." The twins told a pair of identical maids.

"Really? Is all your staff identical twins?" I asked

"Just we Miss Sanka now please follow us." One of the maids stated, to which we followed into the changing room.

The sight that greeted us was rows of racks filled with various variations of female swimwear.

"We brought all of our mother's latest designs to choose from, just pick which one you want." Hikaru told us through the door.

"Sweet!" Rossi cheered, eagerly looking through the different swimming costumes.

One of the maid's went with him whilst the other remained with me, picking out random swimming costumes for me to try on.

"What the heck is that?" I demanded pointing to the thing the maid held up.

"A swimsuit of course." She answered

"It's just a bunch of red strings! Strippers wear more covered up attire!"

"But you'll look so cute in this one." The maid urged

"YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE IT!" I exclaimed

"What about this one then?" the maid offered a different swimming costume.

"That looks like it's made of tin foil. I'd bake like a roast chicken in that!" I protested

"This one?"

"It's giving me a headache. How many patterns does one thing need?"

"Tada!" Rossi interjected, wearing a one piece, sunset coloured swimsuit.

"Wow you were quick. At least you found a somewhat normal swimsuit." I commented

"I'm gonna head back to the others, don't take too long." Rossi stated before running out.

"Kay… That one!" I spotted a swimsuit that I actually liked, taking it from the rack.

"Oh good choice Miss Sanka!" The maids approved

"Whoa! What the heck are ya doing?" I exclaimed, when the maids started pulling my shorts down.

"Helping you change out of your clothes?"

"Well I don't need help thanks. Would ya mind if you gals left? I'd rather not showcase my boobs and Lady Redburn to strangers." I asked

"Very well." The maids obliged exiting the changing area.

"Lady Redburn?" I heard the Tweeds laugh from outside

"Shut up Tweeds she's classier than you two!" I shouted through the door, which made them laugh harder.

I changed into my chosen swimwear. It was a black two piece with an orangey red tropical flower on the top piece.

"Right let's go swimming!" I cheered running out of the changing rooms.

"Nice Doggie." Hikaru commented

"Very nice." Kauru added, both of them eyeing me up.

"Thank you Tweeds…I think." I replied

They gave each other a mischievous look before they grabbed me. Hikaru got my arms and Kauru held my legs.

"Don't you dare!" I growled, knowing full well they were going to throw me in the pool.

"3, 2, 1 THROW!" the twins counted down before they threw me into the current pool.

I quickly held my breath before I plunged into the cool water. I didn't resurface until I saw the twin's lean over in confusion, and a little concern. I swam swiftly upwards and pounced, grabbing both Hikaru's and Kauru's arm and dragged them into the pool.

"GOTCHA!" I exclaimed before I went under with the twins, which I let go off when they fell in.

I resurfaced and treaded water, proceeding to laugh along with Haruhi, Tamaki, Rossi and Honey. The twin's resurfaced shortly after coughing and spluttering, leaning on each other and the poolside for support.

"Pay back is cake!" I declared

"Huh?" Honey questioned

"Delicious!" I added before laughing evilly.

"Weird Doggie." The twins muttered grudgingly

"Nice two piece sugar." Haruhi commented as I got out and stood beside her.

"Thanks, why are you wearing that pullover again? I'm sure I've never seen you wear it before." I questioned

"Yeah what's the deal with the pull over you're wearing?" Hikaru asked

"Well uh…Alright basically when I picked out the swimsuit and was about to meet the others when Tamaki Senpai stopped me outside the changing room and made me put on these." Haruhi explained gesturing to her clothes.

"Huh that's weird." Kauru commented

"I would've thought he'd be the one who wanted Haruhi to be in a swimsuit." Hikaru added

"Maybe he just wanted the sight all to himself." I remarked, winking at Haruhi

"Yeah." The twins agreed.

"Shut up." Haruhi sighed.

"By the way were you doing anything important before you got kidnapped?" I questioned

"Well I was planning on studying, plus I have a load of laundry to do today." Haruhi responded in exasperation

"Oh so not too busy then." I stated lightly, to which Haruhi gave me a quick glare.

"Alright I'll help you with your laundry dearest." I offered

"Thanks sugar." Haruhi thanked appreciatively

"So you're not going to swim?" Hikaru asked whilst eating a banana

"Hold on you does swim don't you?" Kauru questioned

"I can swim just as good as the net guy but this isn't my idea of fun. I'm not too big on waterparks we're just going to spend all day goofing off. Honestly I'd rather be at home. I don't see what's so great about this place anyway? I mean all you really need to play in the water is a plastic pool." Haruhi grumbled

"Well aren't you a barrel of laughs dearest? And you accuse me of being lazy." I commented sarcastically

"A plastic pool what's that?" the twins queried

"Lesson time Tweeds!" I announced

"Well let's see they're about this big, round and to use it you need to pump it full of air." Haruhi explained, using her arms to gesture how big a plastic pool is.

"You dunces."

"That's an inflatable boat dummies." Hikaru and Kauru insulted

"There's no way you could use it as a pool." Hikaru stated

"Yeah." Kauru backed up

"Guys it's a small pool haven't you seen little kids playing in one." Haruhi responded

"Dearest don't forget they're rich. They could easily afford a normal pool." I pointed out

"True." Haruhi agreed

Tamaki then dragged the Tweeds to one side to scorn them.

"You idiots if Haruhi and Tomuru thinks it's a pool then it's a pool got it? Don't go embarrassing them, they can't help that they're ignorant commoners." Tamaki scorned the twins quietly, all three of them crouching down so that we couldn't hear.

"So are we supposed to lie to them is that what you want?" the twins asked unsurely

"Did he just call us ignorant commoners?" I asked Haruhi

"Yeah I can't help but feel like we should be offended by that comment."

"Oooh Harkacha!" I gasped, holding up an imaginary handbag.

"Anyway I'm going to swim some more." I added, before heading off towards the water-slide.

* * *

**Me: I decided to cut it off there so I can divide this episode into three parts as usual.**

**Tomuru: Those swimsuits will haunt me for the rest of time!**

**Me: So ****over dramatic, like father like daughter.**

**Tomuru: Hey I'm not that dramatic!**


	20. Episode 7 Part 2

**Me: Hello Lovelies. Thank you for reading and Reviewing and procrastinating through my story!**

**Tomuru: Guess what I've got!**

**Me: Oh here we go. What?**

**Tomuru: Tamaki's diary!**

**Me: I knew you were going steal something of the Hosts again.**

**Tomuru: Uh huh wanna read?**

**Me: No put it back!**

**Tomuru: Pfft Noooo!**

**Me: Now who's invading privacy! Enjoy lovelies.**

* * *

**Haruhi's Narrative**

"Haru Chan! Wanna share some coconut juice with me? Or do wanna try a piece of the mango cake?" Honey asked, he wore a pink bunny rubber ring float.

"Yeah sure I'll share some coconut juice with you." I replied, smiling at Honey's childish behaviour

Just then I spotted Mori Senpai in the distance looking at some of the tropical birds. He then turned to me as I looked at him, like he knew I was staring.

"Never mind that we've got a question for ya." I overheard Hikaru speak to Tamaki

"Why did you make Haruhi wear that yellow monstrosity?" Kauru confronted

"I thought for sure you'd be all '_I wanna see Haruhi in a swimsuit' _not making her cover up like that." Hikaru stated

"It was surprising." Kauru added

"I knows he's what he's up to. He doesn't want anyone else to see her in a bathing suit. Do you really think that's it? He must be one of those jealous pervert types. That's pretty twisted." The twins' stage whispered, they got bigger and their eyes glowed yellow.

"That's not it at all. I just wanted to protect her innocence like any father or guardian would. After all even if she is wearing a swimsuit it is not decent for a lady to walk around half naked in front of boys!" Tamaki flustered waving his arms all over the place.

He froze when the twins pointed to me and realised that I was in earshot the whole conversation.

_Sugar should be here to scorn Tamaki on his outdated views on women._

"Haru Chan let's play do you wanna go swimming in the current pool with me and Rossi Chan?" Honey asked, grabbing my arm.

"Nah I'm not gonna swim today. Hold on you know how to swim do you still need that float?" I questioned

Honey responded by shaking his head before saying "Just looks cuter this way you know?"

Then he pranced away singing "Prancing, prancing…"

"You're right those bunnies do look pretty cute." I commented, smiling at Honey's cute behaviour.

"He's so innocent." The twins stated

"No way you've got it all wrong!" I heard what sounded like Renge voice echo differ

"Is that Renge?" I queried looking around to see where the voice was coming from.

Suddenly one of the huts opened up and Renge rose on her spinning platform, laughing as usual.

"How does she do that it's like the rig follows us?" I uttered in confusion, as well as sweat dropping.

"That outfits pretty impressive." Hikaru commented on Renge's black bikini. She also had a weird tattoo on her stomach and a purple parasol.

"What's with the tattoo on your stomach?" Kauru asked

"Oh that you don't recognise it I'm cosplaying." Renge answered

"Yeah as who?" Hikaru asked

"La la!" Renge sang

"La la? Like the Manga magazine?" Kauru questioned

"Perfect teeth and slender frame. Her blue eyes that light up men's faces her singing voice. Laaa! I am Kuon Kisuragi!" Renge explained theatrically

"I wouldn't have guessed." I muttered

"I had no idea who you were supposed to be." Tamaki stated

Renge then started posing; I assume it for my benefit. How did she make herself sparkle like that? I guess she still has a thing for me.

"Listen up boys! You obviously need help understanding Honey Senpai's hidden motives look!" Renge stated, pointing towards where Honey and Mori Senpai were.

"Takashi!" Honey exclaimed as he jumped in the pool, then he waved and smiled happily at his tall friend.

"What are you talking about?" Tamaki asked

"Think about what he said to you earlier." Renge remarked

"He's not being as sweet and innocent as you think." She then continued after we all thought about what Honey said earlier.

"I agree, try putting the word I at the beginning of the sentence." Kyoya interjected

"He planned that?" the twins, Tamaki and I exclaimed in realisation

"That's Honinosuka for you! In the last episode he felt threatened by another Loli boy so he's taking steps to keep his rank. I should give him more credit he's a lot smarter than I thought." Renge commented before going down on her platform to her secret lair or something.

"Hey everybody! Check it out watch even though were swimming really fast we don't go any farther than we are now!" Honey called to us on Mori Senpai's back as he swam in the current pool.

"Mermaid style!" Rossi then called after, before dipping under the pool's surface again.

"So what's up with him?" Tamaki wondered about Honey

"Could he really be that smart?" I thought aloud

Just then Tomo glomped me from behind.

"YO! Did I miss anything?" She stated

"Well you just missed Renge who made us realise that Honey's not what he seems." I supplied

"Thank the gods! Was Bernard with her?"

"No."

"Good, wait how'd she get here?" Tomo asked

"By rising platform as usual." I answered

"But how? Unless she's some evil magic being like Kyoya Senpai. Yeah that's definitely it." Tomuru answered her own question

**Tomuru's Narrative**

After concluding that my human arch nemesis was an evil magic being I noticed the Tweeds were armed with water pistols. Tweedledum shot a blast of water at an unsuspecting Tamaki's face.

"I gotcha." Hikaru stated smugly

"C'mon boss let's have a water gun fight." Kauru urged

"It'll be me and Kauru against you. If you get hit in the face you'll lose. What d'ya say?" Hikaru explained

"No why would I want to subject myself to a childish game like that? Tamaki turned down, drying his face with a towel.

The twins then gave each other the 'stirring up trouble' look before they put their arms over dearest and I.

"Haruhi and Doggie I think it's time that we got married." Hikaru stated loudly

"Then we'll honeymoon in Otoni." Kauru added

"This is to annoy Tamaki isn't it?" I sussed

It obviously worked and Tamaki got out a water pistol and starting pumping it.

"If you'd think I'd ever let my little girls marry you guys…DADDY SAYS NO!" Tamaki exclaimed aiming his water gun at the twins.

"I'm getting a drink." Haruhi sighed before heading to the tropical hut bar.

"Kay hey I wanna play too! Gimme a gun!" I announced

"Sure it can be two against two! You better watch yourself Doggie." Hikaru warned throwing me a red water gun, which I didn't manage to catch so I quickly picked it up from the ground.

"Ha you wish. Each one of your Tweedly faces will be soaked by my water ammo!" I declared aiming the gun at the two of them.

"Aw father and daughter fighting side by side!" Tamaki stated in delight

"Ok let's get this fight going!" I uttered impatiently, shooting a water blast to Kauru, which he ducked and retaliated with his own attack.

My strategy was mainly to run around manically shooting at anything that looked Tweed like.

"I'll get you guys. Sideways sweeping shot!" Tamaki exclaimed, shooting sideways at the twins who shielded themselves with odd long, wood face decoration thingies.

"That's cheating!" Tamaki snapped, before he slid on a random banana peel, which made him slide all the way to a tropical ornament thingy and smack his face on.

_That's gotta hurt._

"FEAR NOT FATHER I SHALL AVENGE YOU!" I declared before blasting a jet of water to each of the Tweed's unguarded faces.

"Victory!" I cheered

However what I didn't realise is that when Tamaki smashed into the tropical post thingy the eyes on the faces glowed red, thus somehow changing the current in the current pool Honey and Rossi were currently swimming in.

_What's everyone looking at?_

I then realised why everyone was looking towards the current pool. A huge wave appeared shadowing Honey and Rossi. Before they could get out the wave crashed down, taking them down into the depths of the pool.

"Honey Senpai, Rossi!" I heard Haruhi shout

"Mitskuni!" I heard Mori exclaim urgently soon after.

I quickly ran towards the pool, as I saw Mori Senpai do from the corner of my eye. Before I could dive in and rescue them someone grabbed my arms from behind and pulled me backwards.

"Get the heck off me Kyoya!" I shouted, trying to wriggle out of his firm grasp.

"Don't be idiotic, we would have to save you as well as Honey and Rossi if you went in. The current pool is unpredictable at the moment if you haven't noticed." Kyoya stated calmly

"So? They could be drowning for all I know! I just need to check if they're down there." I responded, feeling paranoid, and desperate for reassurance that the both of them are fine.

"Gentleman we are going after Honey Senpai and Rossi! That pool looks like the quickest way CHARGE!" Tamaki declared before they all ran towards the pool Tamaki pointed to.

"Wait I wouldn't go…" Kyoya began to caution, still holding onto me so I wouldn't jump in.

However they soon ran back in a hurry exclaiming that they were alligators in the pool.

"Alligators?"

"Alright we can't use that pool. Then let's try this way next!" Tamaki instructed, again they all ran towards that direction and yet again there were alligators.

"There're here too!" the twins exclaimed in panic

"And here!" Haruhi also exclaimed

After Kyoya and I watched everyone get tired out running in circles trying to find an alligator safe route to get to Honey and Rossi, we joined them walking away from the poolside. Kyoya Senpai let go of my arms.

_Evil shadow lord!_

"What's with all the alligators?" Haruhi asked, still catching her breath

"Beats me." Tamaki responded also out of breath

"Yeah you said there'd be no dinosaurs shadow lord." I remarked, pointing at Kyoya accusingly

"Those alligators belong to the tropical animal's exhibit. I suppose it is dangerous to let them run wild." Kyoya started to explain, writing on a clipboard as he spoke.

"Yeah you think?" I uttered sarcastically

_Wait this is my chance!_

I slowly edged back to the current pool as Kyoya was busy speaking.

"Though our current problem is the location of the switch to the current pool. I'll have a brief chat with out designers. Thanks a lot you guys I got some great data today." Kyoya finished, actually smiling, not having his usual evil smirk etched on his face like I thought.

"Say what?" the others apart from Mori exclaimed in irritated shock.

When I reached the edge I quickly turned and dived in, taking a deep breath before plunging. I focused all my energy to swimming deeper underwater.

_Jeez how deep does this pool go?_

After two minutes I started to feel the burn from my lungs through the lack of air getting provided. I managed to see the bottom of the pool floor. However I didn't see any little brothers or little dudes anywhere. When I could barely hold my breath anymore and my ears began to pop from the pressure I swam down to the pool floor and propelled myself upwards. As soon as I resurfaced I took in a huge breath of air and supported myself on the ledge. I looked up to see the Hosts looking down on me, each with worried expressions on their faces. Except Mori who looked monotonous as usual and shadow lord who glared at me.

"I went all the way down to the pool floor. No little dudes anywhere." I informed getting out of the pool.

"Daughter you were down there for five minutes! We thought something awful happened to you!" Tamaki exclaimed worriedly, giving me a big hug.

The twins and Haruhi joined in with the hug of relief.

"Wow five minutes huh? I think that's a record for me." I commented

"Right now that's over shall we get on with rescuing Honey Senpai and Rossi?" Haruhi suggested

"Definitely." I agreed

Then we followed Kyoya to one of the water park maps that hung up nearby.

"Well as I was saying we need to get here. I have a feeling that's where the two of them probably ended up. It might be tough because to get there we have to get through this jungle area here." Kyoya explained

"It looks like there are a lot of undeveloped areas. Any idea what could be lurking in those parts of the jungle?" Haruhi asked

"Since they're still being developed I'm afraid I don't know." Kyoya answered

"Whatever could be out there could be more dangerous…"

"…then alligators." Kauru finished Hikaru's sentences.

"Yeah like Honey badgers or gangs of oddly sentient ducks." I piped in

"What's a Honey badger?" Hikaru asked

"You're worst nightmare!" I stage whispered dramatically, which made the Tweeds look at each other nervously.

"Alright now this is a mission of survival! I know we can get through the treacherous jungle in one piece! It is our sworn duty to save Honey Senpai and Rossi!" Tamaki pep talked

"How bad can it be? I mean it's just a water park." I wondered

_My little brother better be alright or so help me I will tear this stupid water park apart! _

**Rossi's Narrative **

I blacked out after the currents bashed me against the poolside. I thought this place was meant to be therapeutic! Anyway I woke up on dry land with a concerned Honey looking down at me. I coughed up some of the pool water I apparently swallowed.

"Are you okay Rossi Chan?" Honey asked in concern.

"Uh I feel a little _'cough'_ groggy but I'm good. Are you ok Honey?" I managed to respond lightly.

"Yep. I had to perform CPR on you Rossi Chan. You stopped breathing!" Honey informed me, helping me stand up.

"Whoa how long for?" I responded in surprise, to which Honey shrugged.

"Oh well thanks Honey. You saved my life. Tomo would've torn this place down if anything happened to us." I spoke appreciatively, hugging Honey.

"No need to thank me Rossi Chan. Everyone will be worried about us so we should probably find our way back kay?"

"Good idea."

Then Honey and I walked through the jungle area to meet up with the others.

* * *

**Me: Tomuru hand it over now!**

**Tomuru: Let me just read you something then I'll hand it over.**

**Me: Fine just one thing though.**

**Tomuru: Yes! _(Impersonates Tamaki) '_my pretty daughter looked so cute in her pink one piece swimsuit, though of course I didn't want the twin's leering over her so I made her cover up. She even had a cute flowery swim hat to match! So Kawaii! Oh I do yearn for her to fall for me so...'**

**Me: Alright that's enough of that! Does it actually say Kawaii though?**

**Tomuru: See for yourself.**

**Me: Unbelievable well till net time lovelies.**


End file.
